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@hansup180
MUST BE SUBSCRIBED TO ENTER! :D www.youtube.com/grav3yardgirl www.youtube.com/bananapeppers
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you know what’s probably more fun than playing chess? cheating at chess
“ohhh would you look at that, my pawns found jesus and now they’re all bishops”
“so i realize it looks like i’m putting a thimble on the board but actually my rooks have been using their downtime to build another rook, one that’s better, stronger, faster—”
“hey welcome back. while you left to get a snack, those six pieces you’d captured slipped their guards, tunneled to safety and emerged right in the middle of your royal palace.”
“oof, looks like you’ve got my king cornered…maybe this is a good time to mention that shortly before we started playing, my pawns and knights revolted and instituted a representative democracy. feel free to kill the puppet ruler that was the one remaining vestige of our tyranny, you cringing servant of the crown. vive la revolution!”
A long time ago, in a bar far far away, we used to have a sunday board game thing, and one of the games we would play was Penultima.
Penultima starts with a chess set laid out in the normal fashion (Some of these rules may be different to other Penultima rulesets) and two people will be the players. Other people around the table will take one piece type each, and will invent, name, and write down a new rule for their type. For example:
Aha, the piece you have in your hand is not a rook, but is the Laser Turret. At any point you may activate it (turns it upside down) and this takes your turn. From that point, it will automatically fire and kill any non-pawn piece of the enemy colour that enters within three squares of it. It will not fire at or through pawns, which can therefore be used as shields. You may use a turn to deactivate it.
Or
This pawn is now a trained Trick Crossbow wielder. It moves and takes as normal, but may also take out any piece that is one knight’s move away, without moving. This does, however, take your turn.
Or even
Due to the effects of The Revolution, Any time a pawn takes another piece, it must swap places with the King.
The winner was whoever could put the king piece in check-mate, as normal. It varies between being an awful lot of fun, and a fun lot of awful.
I am interested to learn that people have played a game named Penultima where the players know what the rules are at the start!
You see, it has been the habit of my sect* to play a game named Penultima. The board is set up like a normal chessboard, but as the game begins it becomes clear that this is not chess. For this reason, Black moves first.
Two people are players, and others have created rules for the pieces, as above. The players know the names of these pieces. All else must be learnt by experimentation.
“Can I move my Psychic Brain in a Jar to this square?” a player asks me. “No, you can’t.” “What about here?” “Nope.” “Can I move it at all?” “Not this turn!” I reply, grinning - for I am the only person who yet knows the kingly Psychic Brain in a Jar cannot move at all (and must defend itself solely through mind control).
Had the answer to any of these questions been the affirmative, the player would be forced into that move - so a player must be careful what they wish for, lest they find out a piece can make an interesting, unexpected, and above all horribly fatal move.
It always used to be said that the game is won when a King-equivalent is taken - not put into checkmate, of course, since it is quite possible to reach that state without anyone (including the writers of rules, who each have only a part of the greater puzzle) being aware.
Then came the fateful day when a Psychic Brain in a Jar mindcontrolled the enemy Psychic Brain in a Jar into mindcontrolling its own Archer, who shot the second Psychic Brain in a Jar in the knee - and thus the Psychic Brain in a Jar ceased to be an adventurer and became whatever it was that looked like a pawn this time.
All paused and contemplated the board. “Does that mean I lose?”
“I’m not sure. Your king hasn’t been taken…”
A discussion ensued, an agreement was met.
Ever since that day, it is said that a game of Penultima is lost when one player no longer has a king, and this story is told as explanation.
*We are not a cult.
Hans’ Tarot SUPERPOST
Welcome everyone to the super post! Once per week, I will update and reblog this post so be ready for an update every week! Without further adieu.
- If you want to see my old public asks go here!
- if you want to contact me directly go here!
- NEW: This new tag will be where all Public Asks will be! just click here!
- NEW: This new tag will be where all 9am posts go! Just click here!
- NEW: This new tag will be where all 12pm posts go! Just click here!
- NEW: This new tag will be where all 9pm asks go! Just click here!
-NEW: This new tag will be where all reviews are! Just click here!
Enough with the directory! Time for the REAL meat of the superpost. First I have to explain general rules.
RULES: These aren’t really ruled to be honest. It’s more of a guideline for what you to have an accurate reading. 1. You must provide your age, star sign, idea you hold into dearly, and which reading you want in order for me to consider your ask. If you forget any of that, don’t worry, I’ll make sure to remind you. 2. Do you know what kind of reading you want? Too many people want a reading, but don’t know what to ask. So basically I just want to know if you have a specific question in mind, or you just want a general overview into the future.3. Do you want your reading to be public, or not? This is very important. Many people are embarassed or don’t want people to know their question, so I respect their privacy and will not post any private questions.
That’s all the rules really. I’ll add more if needed. It’s time for what you’ve all been waiting for! The spreads I have to offer! We’re going to take it easy for the first week and offer only 5 different readings and all of them are free! The free readings only last until 8/26/16! So get them while you can!
1. Standard Three - A very common three card draw. The past leads to the present, and the present influences your future. Let’s see what was, is and is coming to you! ( This will stay as a free reading forever, but is minimal. )
2. General Fifths - A very common five card draw. The past is revealed in detail, your present is set, and the challenges to your potential future are set in stone. See how I can guide you to a better outcome! ( This spread will be the cheapest paid reading in the future. 5$ )
3. Pick your future - A unique seven card draw made by me. This spread is designed to help you pick what to do to reach a potential future. It’s a bit more fun and will definitely guide you through situations. ( This spread will also be 5$ in the future. )
4. Horroscope - A long twelve card draw. This spread is designed to cater to your star sign. Each month’s mood will be revealed to you, so you know what to expect for your year! ( This spread will be 12$ in the future, fitting, no? )
5. Live guidance! - For those who prefer one on one, I will give you a half hour session with me on Skype. We’ll go over everything you need and want to know! ( In the future, this reading will be the most expensive at 15$ per 30 minutes )
Thank you all for your support! If you care about your tarot reading here, please feel free to use the donate button on my blog! I hope you all have a wonderful future, be it real or arteficial. As always, The cards have spoken~
9pm post schedule!
This isn’t just a reference for me! Everyone can see it and know what to expect!
THIS BEGINS TONIGHT AT 9PM EST.
You’ll all see a post announcing that my ask box is open and EVERY question will be answered for the next hour! I may or may not do something new every now and again. Who knows?!
Thanks for all your support!
12pm post schedule
This isn’t just a reference for me, it’s for everyone to know what’s coming!
Week by week things will change! Once per week the format for this time slot’s post will change from one theme to another. The entire first week will be dedicated to all sorts of unique tarot card spreads!
Thanks for all the support everyone!

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9am post schedule
This isn’t just for my reference, everyone will benefit from this!
The order of cards will go as follows: Major arcana, Swords, cups, wands, pentacles.
All pictures will be of my current ( and only, how sad ) Tarot deck! the steampunk Tarot.
Thanks everyone for the support!
THE PERMANENT RETURN
Hello everyone, I’m coming back for good. The format has indeed changed. There will be a minimum of three posts a day at the same time each day. This will be 9am EST, 12pm EST, and 9pm EST. First morning post will always be the card of the day from my current Tarot deck with a short definition of what it can mean. This post will also be to announce that readings are available. The Noon post will be a shout out to other awesome Tarot card readers out there or some other form of information about tarot. A good example will be an explanation of some form of tarot spread, or a way to bond with the cards, etc. Third post of the day will be the Metaphysical power hour! Ask anything you want for an hour and I will take my time to answer everything. I’m sorry to ramble on like this. There will be other various posts throughout the day, but don’t worry, I’m going to start tagging posts like crazy.
Wow I can’t believe Peridot watched the realtime fandub

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Which team are you?
Time to show your loyalty Pokemon Go users! Reblog this if you have yellow pride and are a part of Team Instinct!
[Click here for Team Mystic]
[Click here for Team Valor]
who here team instinct
July 11th is the Feast Day of Dashcon, which was first celebrated in 2014.
I don’t know what this is but same
this is the most relatable thing I’ve seen in 2016 to date
“cindy no, FUCK”
@asecretinside @princesshollis @tydyedshoelaces
“what are you dOING YOU’RE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL”

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please youtube do not tempt me
TOAST
New Year, who dis?