The stinkbug video is coming, y'all. We're gonna post it to YouTube a little while after Brudder's Gate wraps up. But for now, have this short horror film to tide you over.
Monterey Bay Aquarium

JVL
Today's Document
DEAR READER

shark vs the universe
Peter Solarz
sheepfilms

titsay

Love Begins
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Janaina Medeiros
Cosmic Funnies
almost home
Cosimo Galluzzi

#extradirty
Jules of Nature
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
will byers stan first human second
RMH
Show & Tell
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@hannahhorwell
The stinkbug video is coming, y'all. We're gonna post it to YouTube a little while after Brudder's Gate wraps up. But for now, have this short horror film to tide you over.

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jenga the move: best bits
This part,dude,lmaaao
Ok, so I was reading this news story:
So far so normal, right? But then:
Like what. And then:
Like, I think Alaska State Trooper Ken Marsh wants to be a romance novelist.
well would you look at that
One of the best posts

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I’m every one in this
MAN 1 (in a high pitched, whiny voice) Look what you’ve done to my peonies!
WOMAN (angrily) They’re marigolds!
MAN 2 God! I think she’s right! They are marigolds!
MAN 1 I may not know my flowers, but I know a (yells in her direction) bitch when I see one!
It’s back!
I looked this up because I had to know what it’s from. It’s a film called The Gay Deceivers (1969), and it’s about two straight men who, seeking to avoid the draft, claim to be gay, but then have to keep up the pretense when the army places them under surveillance.
The man in the red cardigan in the clip was played by Michael Greer, who was openly gay himself - unusual for the time. He actually worked closely with the director and rewrote much of the film’s dialogue to reduce the homophobia and make it more realistic. As a result it’s quite progressive for its time, having a gay character, played by a gay man, living in a happy same-sex relationship, which is more than a lot of media offers us today.
Plus the clip is delightful.
I just looked it up on wikipedia and fucking
The twist is that even after the pair is caught, they are not inducted into the military. The Army investigators assigned to watch them are themselves gay and are trying to keep straight people out of the Army.
EDFIAWFOWEFUHSFUIHOFIUHFOIFUHFOIUH
“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”
— Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
Ok, so I was reading this news story:
So far so normal, right? But then:
Like what. And then:
Like, I think Alaska State Trooper Ken Marsh wants to be a romance novelist.
well would you look at that
A new study released by the Entertainment Software Association has revealed that adult women now occupy the largest demographic in the gaming industry. Women over 18 made up a whopping 36 percent of the gaming population, followed by adult men at 35 percent.
Teenage boys, who are often stereotyped as the biggest gamers, now lag far behind their older female counterparts, making up just 17 percent of the gaming demographic. (x)
I still get hate for this. Keep sharing it!
This includes mobile “gaming” like Candy Crush which messes up the whole metrication you dumbass. Use your common fucking sense, Karen the soccer mom isn’t playing Overwatch.
Blah blah blah
“Women aren’t true gamers! They play Candy Crush!”
“Women aren’t true artisans! They are crafters!”
“Women aren’t true artists! They have hobbies!”
“Women aren’t true chefs! They are cooks!”
I am so tired of this bullshit.
Video games are video games are video games.
“Though this stereotype has long persisted, and even been used as a hiring tactic, the new data suggests there’s little if any truth to it—especially not when you consider that the average adult woman has been gaming for 13 years.
Sorry, male gamers of Reddit and 4Chan, but Angry Birds only came out five years ago. Unless you want to try to argue that women have just been playing Bejeweled for the last 13 years, the math just doesn’t add up.
And while the total audience for mobile social games is now bigger than ever, the audience for computer and video games is now an even 50-50 split between male and female genders.”
tfw you’re telling people to use their common sense but your own common sense somehow did not persuade you to read the article linked above or the study provided
Animal Crossing: New Horizons is one of the best selling games of all time, and it is largely women that are playing it.
Just because it’s not a first-person-shooter, doesn’t mean it’s not a video game. (But, like, we play those, too.)
medically accurate muscle chart:
As someone who works in therapy for a living, I can confirm this is 100% accurate
@cosmicdwarf
For Traitor: neck retraction exercise. While lying in bed with your head flat against the mattress, give yourself the biggest double chin you can. Repeat 10 times.
For Jackass: stop hiking your shoulders up to your ears. This is pretty much a stress thing, it’s human instinct to protect our neck when we’re under stress so that predators can’t get at it. Easiest way to do that is be elevating the shoulders, so. Periodically take not of where your shoulders are at.
Absolute Fuckwaffle: stretch out your chest. The rhomboids on the back work to keep our shoulder blades back, so when we’re hunched forward they are constantly straining to do their job. Unfortunately it’s not as simple as telling you to stand up straight, since our pectorals get chronically tight and prevent us from doing so. Step one: pectoral stretches. Hold for at least 20 seconds.
Asshole: Superman exercises. Like the rhomboids, the ESGs are straining against the slump. Stretching the chest will help them, too, but then you e got to strengthen your back. Do 20 of those per day.
traitor tried to murder me last night and fuckwaffle is always up on my shit
I’m gonna try these tips

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At Mount fuji
Forget the rest of the fireworks around the world, these are the best. HNY.
The finale HOLY SHIT!!!
This is actually the first time I was impressed by a firework
For anyone interested, the music is by a composer named Thomas Bergersen, and the piece playing is called Homecoming from his Illusions album. I listen to his music whenever I need to be inspired to write.
The uninhibited dopamine of it all
i never knew fireworks could be serene. i feel calmer, and maybe a little bit enlightened.
Me, in tears, halfway through writing a 300 word essay: I can’t do this anymore
Person on A03 who’s writing for fun:
Inconvenient Truth: these are the same person
Yeah, well, I can’t stretch out that review of 16th century economics by adding a gratuitous hand job.
#not with that attitude you can’t
HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.
This is my new favourite story.
When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”
So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…
“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.
There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.
Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.
But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.
Seriously, this is legit.
In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline. Here’s the ad they posted.
Only problem is, they misprinted the number. And the number they printed? It went straight through to fucking NORAD. This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay. NORAD was the front line.
And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD. Oh no no no.
Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says.
“This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says.
The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”
His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying.
“And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.”
“It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.
And then, it got better.
“The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says.
“And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says.
“Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.
For real.
“And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.”
“Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”
So yeah. I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.
Source: http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport
OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS.
I’ve seen the first post a bunch of times, but never the story of How The Santa Tracker Started.
I shouldn;t be laughing this hard
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN.
full in the loop of the entire ryan and adam stuff since a lot of you don’t have the chronological details of the situation
https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/j5lso8/what_is_going_on_with_rooster_teeth_members_adam/

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AH Stream Today + RH
Jack and Michael took some time to talk to us about the RH situation before switching to games during today’s livestream (10/14/20). I’m sure the vod will be up later, but i’ll sum it up as best I can
They will be purging their archives of content with Ryan in it. This is a massive undertaking but they support this idea and are working on it. Obviously this will make a significant dent in their video backlog.
They believe the victims completely. When it was first coming out, they didn’t want to, but it became clear that it wasn’t faked. Jack called Ryan a monster.
They will not be bringing up Ryan Haywood ever again. Do not expect more statements from them.
They’ve clearly been hit very hard by this. Jack had a constant warble to his voice and could barely start talking. Michael was a bit more composed but had clearly been crying a lot and was visibly affected.
Everyone in the AH office took the week off, and in some ways this wasn’t enough but they also want the distraction of making videos again. It may take some more adjusting.
There will be no Off Topic tomorrow; instead there will be a Zelda stream with Michael and Matt.
Geoff will not be making a statement. Jack’s been talking to him and he’s been hurting. Please do not contact Geoff about it.
Please do not harass Ryan’s family.
If you are attacking victims or AH or any others, or defending Ryan, because you don’t want to believe Ryan was bad or whatever, then they want you to move on. Leave people alone and don’t attack others. Ryan is gone and he’s not coming back, and ideally he will never surface again (Michael’s approximate words).
If you have any stories, now, then, or future, send them to [email protected]
In lighter news, Extra Life will be a whole week instead of a 24 hour stream due to COVID-19! November 7 thru November 14 during “normal” hours. There will be four poster variants (Jack showed one of the posters, it’s moonballs against a paint-splattered target with a cloud shaped like the extra life symbol in the sky. it’s screenprinted and very pretty!) I
Nope. Nope. Nope nope nopenopenopenope no thank you I do not have the strength to watch this wonderful woman talk about that horrible man.
I hope Caiti knows I would die for her.