Stucky, Thundershield, and Hannibal mostly ❤

The MC is a girl who we’ll call Sue. Sue is a Good Girl™, Sue is Not Like Other Girls™, she is pale and awkward and a virgin and has somehow managed to find herself a Bad Boy™ for a boyfriend. We’ll call him Dickhead.

Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to pressure Sue into sex because he knows she is The One™ but he loves her really so it’s okay. Except it’s not okay because Sue is a Good Girl™ and holding out till marriage which he’s fine with except he’s got such a bad case of blue balls that one night walking home an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words “hey stud” and he follows, dick out before she’s even finished her sentence. Well turns out that was a mistake for Dickhead because she’s a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting Vampire. So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he’ll feel bad about in the morning, turns into him being bitten on the dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead. Except DBV fucked up and now he’s a vampire. Are you still with me? Good, cause it’s about to get weirder.

Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a creature of the night and feeding on animals rather than humans to repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed each night crying for the loss of her One True Love™ who she would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead never really left you! He’s been “instinctively protecting her from rapists” by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because that’s not fucking terrifying at all.

Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do nothing but blame herself. Oh if only she’d let him touch her secret places, then perhaps all of this could be avoided! Meanwhile Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late that his vampire powers have given him super senses and now he can smell her blood and he can’t decide whether he wants to get with her or eat her. And I don’t mean in the French sense. But he is strong! And over comes his base manly vampire instincts and neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic that Sue gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in all fairy tales, True Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure vagina that has never been touched by anyone, not even her, can bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and rips her clothes off, but not before he takes one last moment to marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will never again look on her again and know she is Pure.

If you’ve only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve.

So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is literally so pure in spirit, her flesh burns his. And I quote you from memory because these words are burned into my soul: “her breasts bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but he did not care because he loved her so and couldn’t stop”

This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think about on my death bed and my last words will literally be “god fucking dammit” as I die, carrying that mental image with me into the afterlife. My own solace is in knowing that I inflicted it on other people too, like @ahzuri who is somehow still with me after all these years.

When the magical burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her bruised, battered and broken with “a dainty blue bells of bruises around her secret flower” (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid) Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he fucks, leaving her to the mercy of the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true monster he really is. But wait, there’s more. Remember the dick biting vampire? Well turns out she has figured out she made him into a vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous of Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because sex before marriage which was done out of True Love is not a sin, so she is still a spiritual virgin and I’ll be honest, I started drinking heavily at this point and it’s all a bit of a blur.

A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing the mistake he has made. And he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter, but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for luring innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts off, at which point i screamed “THAT’S NOT HOW YOU REACH THE HEART” and my brain short circuited completely and I have no idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my soul couldn’t take it. I emailed the chief editor like ?????!!!!!!????!!!!!! and the book was immediately pulled from the work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house. Turns out she was a friend of a friend and that was how she got the manuscript past our entry levels for requirement.

BEHOLD! CRUCIFIX NIPPLES!

this is extremely problematic for very obvious reasons and i have no idea what the fuck this country is fucking coming to

childline has also been restricted

if you're a uk citizen and still haven't signed the petition please do so

even if you're not a uk citizen please reblog to spread the word !!!!!

Bucky "I don't do that anymore" Barnes

Did I make a skillet chocolate chip cookie because of fanfiction? You bet I did.

Thank you @hanitrash for the cooking inspo in Touch Me and You'll Never Be Alone! I'm not sure if other fandoms are like this, but I feel like the Stucky writers really love their food.

Would you like your creation on display in a museum?

Would you like to help a super awesome PhD candidate complete her dissertation?

Would you like a great excuse to further procrastinate that thing you've been procrastinating?

All of these and more are great reasons to participate in Affirmation/Transformation: Fandom Created, an exhibition at Marquette University's Haggerty Museum of Art. (You do NOT need to be an artist, or even someone who creates art to participate!) Write a story, write a song, design a cosplay, create a fancy manicure, make a meme, make a stop-motion video, choreograph a dance, make a SuperWhoLock gif fic, or anything else your heart can dream up.

Your creation must follow only one rule: It must be inspired by a fusion of 1. any fandom of your choice, and 2. one of the featured Haggerty pieces (click the link to see them!)

Completed works are due July 1, 2024. The exhibition will run August 23rd-December 22nd, 2024, and will be available to view in person and online.

To see the Haggerty pieces, and to sign up to receive email reminders about the fan event, visit https://epublications.marquette.edu/fandom/Affirmationtransformation

I mean this in the kindest, most loving way possible, but babes you'll be so much happy when you stop focusing on what other people are doing and instead focus on what you like.

on. take a breath. your life is

already better.

the way online spaces decided to Protect The Children from pedophilia has done no such thing, just like we warned you it wouldn't. instead it gave bullies and bigots a perfect label to slap onto any victim they wanted, at the direct expense of csa survivors everywhere. it's also been horrible for queer artists of all sorts. we have been saying this over and over for a decade at least.

what steve and bucky were doing during their 7 hour flight to siberia in the quinjet

Posting my art for @buckybarnesevents 2023 Shrinkyclinks Double Bang for the story I claimed from the amazing @hanitrash! She wrote such a great story and I'm so lucky I got to make some art for it!

It's NSFW so you can see the whole thing HERE!

Gave My Knuckles A Run For Their Money—