Happy Caitlyn Day

I’m writing this while you sleep peacefully in your bassinet. You already had quite a journey before we brought you home today.

You were born at five in the morning, when the sky was still dark. Your father told me it was snowing heavily, though I don’t remember any of it, I was busy doing something else. Nineteen hours is a long time to labor, my love. Your father never left, his arms are covered in bruises now, but he said you were worth every one of them, and I absolutely agree, he had to feel at least a fraction of what I went through.

I had never been so aware of my own body, or felt so betrayed by it. I won’t pretend I was brave the entire time. There was pain, so much pain, and then, suddenly, you were there, crying and furious with the world. And then they placed you on my chest, and the pain miraculously disappeared. I looked at you and was stunned. You were red and scrunched and already had a lot of hair and long nails. Then you opened your eyes, and your father laughed through his tears and said you looked like a furious blueberry. I can confirm, you looked offended.

They told me you were 54 cm long and weighed 4090 grams, as if I needed confirmation that you were this solid. The numbers still feel unreal, though. How the human body can push out something that big, how my body did that.

********

“Speak earth and bless me with what is richest

make sky flow honey out of my hips

rigis mountains

spread over a valley

carved out by the mouth of rain.”

Audre Lorde, from Love Poem

********

4th January, 2026

It is a bright sunny day, with robins chirping and singing harmoniously outside the window. You wake up, gently put away Caitlyn’s arm from your abdomen so you will not disturb her, and lightly stretch your arms and legs accompanied by a bit of muscle pain from yesterday’s vigorous activities with— oh.

Yes, you are now Caitlyn’s girlfriend.

*****

It is the greatest gift from Earth that the most beautiful, gorgeous, handsome woman is in love with you. You cannot really explain it with words, but you certainly know that you and her are attracted to each other with electrifying chemistry.

From one hangout right after the Mid-Autumn Festival, to another, with affectionate physical touch such as you leaning on Caitlyn’s shoulder (She is so tall, how can you blame yourself !) and her caressing your hand softly, so softly hinting that she never wanted to let you go; to eventually, a date in a quiet pier in early November, to you timidly confessing your feelings to her asking if she could be your girlfriend, to her tenderly lifting your chin and gently kissing your lips then all over your face whispering “I love you, I love you, I love you darling.” while the tides came and went calmly.

The sea was tranquil, but you and Caitlyn were definitely drowned in passion along with your hearts beating and souls rejoicing in synchronicity.

It was the most magical day of your life. You never believed in fairytales, but Caitlyn is the dashing knight who alleviates you from your jaded, cynical mindset.

Caitlyn and you have become inseparable girlfriends since then, and during the long Christmas break she invites you to stay at her house with her parents. You were nervous at first, but luckily you felt at ease shortly after, with her mother’s dry Ionian sense of humour, along with her father’s welcoming presence. Without a doubt, they approve of you for being their only daughter’s girlfriend, especially with your politeness and helpfulness to wash the dishes after every dinner.

Besides, her parents can see the way you shower Caitlyn with endearment and meticulousness, alongside the way she looks incredibly smitten with you. After all, she is their precious daughter.

*****

You sit straight on the bed, admiring Caitlyn’s naked, chiselled back that you believe is a blessing from the gods. There is a sense of vulnerability from her sleeping position, but you know that she trusts you, sharing mutual happiness, laughter, but also tears of your occasional homesickness and external pressures as a Kiramman that causes Caitlyn sobbing on your shoulder, murmuring “What if I am not good enough ?” to you.

You embrace her, stroking her navy hair, patting her back, fully understanding that she does not need any consolation, any flowery words to reassure her. You know that all she needs is your presence and accompaniment.

*****

When you are with Caitlyn, she is the muse who gives you vibrant colours, a spectrum of light and melodies into your life. Never in a day would she fail to make you smile.

*****

You observe Caitlyn, your beloved, who is sleeping peacefully without a single frown on her face. Perhaps she is rewinding the moment from yesterday, of her worshipping you, kissing every inch, every curve of your body. Her slender fingers touching and stroking places where she knew you would gasp and chant her name like a sacred prayer.

You especially anticipate her voracious habit of nibbling on your breasts; her carefully and thoroughly leaving hickeys on your inner thighs. Every whine, every sound of approval you make is the melodious, pleasant symphony to her ears and sweet honey on her tongue.

You especially relish the fact that except for Caitlyn, no one can see the love bites on your skin that are solely crafted by her affections towards you.

You have never liked your body that much, but she reassures you that you are loved despite your obvious imperfections; and you should see the beauty in yourself the same way you admire her.

You can never forget the adoring moment when she followed the trails on your cheeks, kissed your tears of joy and relief when you first became intimate with her, together with the intense euphoria she gifted you that it felt so cathartic to be seen, to be understood, and most importantly— to be cherished.

The way she says “Let me take care of you, darling.” never fails to make you feel elated and at ease. Her soft, soothing, yet deep and grounded voice is the feeling of home, the shield against the inner critic inside your head, yelling at you that you are not experienced nor reactive enough for her.

To you, she is also your altar, your shrine that you want to dedicate your life to, to worship no other entity except for Caitlyn, your one and only goddess on Earth.

You hope to worship her tonight once you have her permission. You thrive in her divinity, and you wish to consume and be consumed by her and her only.

*****

As time is running by, you slowly get out of the bed and go to the en-suite bathroom wearing your wireless headphones, playing your favourite song over and over again. The outro never ceases to amaze you every time you hear it, with a mixture of choral, heavenly echoes, evocative lyrics combined together. It makes you wonder: does loving someone feel this way ? No matter what, would you desperately find a way to get back with your romantic soulmate ? Even if it is just for a minute or two ? Even if it wrecks your heart ?

The answer is always yes. You have never doubted nor denied your devotion to her.

You are Caitlyn’s most devoted believer.

*****

Right after you step out of the bathroom, you see Caitlyn waking up, looking at you filled with unspoken fondness and warmth. You rush to her, hugging her and say “Happy Birthday, love. Oh ! Here’s your bathrobe. Please don’t catch a cold in this freezing weather.” Caitlyn chuckles, grinning softly at you, and gives you a quick peck on your lips. “Thank you my darling, I cannot wait to spend the rest of the day with you.” she declares playfully, pressing her lips to yours one more time because she is insatiably, utterly in love with you and only you.

Of course, you kiss her back with fervour every time she initiates. And she does the same to you, with the exact way that missing puzzle pieces slot together as one.

It is your first time to plan a birthday itinerary for a loved one, so you cannot help but feel anxious. You shyly suggest, “Cait, um, can I take you out to the Ionian restaurant we ate on our first official date for lunch ? I know you love the stir-fried beef rice noodles and coffee milk tea there. Then, we can go to the Ionian supermarket nearby to buy your favourite egg tarts, also my treat of course, before we have dinner with your parents. Is that okay with you?” Caitlyn nods her head and agrees excitedly, caressing your cheeks, further teasing you. “Oh sweetheart, I adore the way you are so thoughtful of me and how shy you are right now. Don’t be shy.”

Caitlyn loves when you blush furiously because of her, and she could never get tired of looking at your bashful expressions.

*****

Before Caitlyn goes to the bathroom, you gently hold her hand, cooing, “Cait ?”

She looks at you with her bright blue eyes, “Yes, darling ?”

「我愛你。」 (I love you.)

She leaps towards you, cuddling and kissing you breathless, before proclaiming—

「我都好愛你呀。」 (I love you very much too.)