Trifecta

The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down “dragons” with short spears next year.

♥CCS clear cards oversized bookmarks!♥(‘∀’●)

Wild rice isn’t actually rice-it’s a grass seed that grows naturally in lakes in Minnesota and Wisconsin, and it’s been an indigenous staple food for many, many centuries. Although some corporations have taken and grown “wild rice” in paddies, it is not the same thing- it is actually a hybrid seed that is not the same quality and often sold for a higher price anyways.

Not only is the wild rice a sacred food, but is a form of Indigenous science that lets you know how healthy the water is (or isn’t), because water is life and affects the health of all people, plants, and animals that live with it. This has been belatedly acknowledged by very recent research from the University of Minnesota that the health of the wild rice can predict all health of lakes and streams.

I buy my wild rice from the Red Lake Nation and the White Earth Nation.

The cool thing about buying from the White Earth Nation is that they also have videos showing the traditional processes involved in harvesting and parching the rice, and they offer stuff like gift baskets, chokecherry preserves, maple candy, soup & pancake mix, and cookbooks which make great gifts!

What I like about buying from the Red Lake Nation is there is a massive variety and quantity of different wild rice products at many different prices! They are aware that the broken grains are not as quality, but it doesn’t go to waste-you can buy the broken grains for “Soup Bits” ($3.49) which are an inexpensive way to add flavor & nutrition to soups and stews. They also offer “Quick Cook” wild rice ($5.69), which is prepared from a lighter roast/parch process that allows the grains to cook in a shorter amount of time and has a rich, traditional flavor.

You can also buy syrups and jellies made from hand harvested hawthorn, chokecherry, and highbush cranberry there.

BUT! If you’re worried about shipping costs or like me, are disabled/have limited mobility and can’t always get to the store like you might prefer,Red Lake Nation also sells their rice through Amazon, eligible for Prime shipping. This is also good for those, Native or not, who are struggling in the community and share their wishlists for help purchasing food.(Also please know this post is only meant to share information, not to make anyone feel bad or imply they’re eating “inferior” food.)

By the time I got in line to pay he was loitering at the front of the store again, and I just had that feeling that he was going to try and take the game I just bought, or steal my purse, as soon as I left the store. OR, he was going to try and follow me home. And I know I don’t have to explain that terror to any woman reading this, but all I could think was that I’m in this Gamestop alone with at least twenty other men and something is about to happen. I’m beginning to freak out, to the point where I’ve just pulled my pepper spray out of my purse and into the pocket of my coat. 

So there I am, next in line to pay, and there is this GIGANTIC dudebro right behind me, and I say gigantic as a 6 foot tall woman. He says, “Ma’am? Don’t be offended, but would it be alright if I walked you to your car?” and I was like “Are you serious?” and he was like “There are some weird guys in here right now. Have you noticed that guy watching you?” and then I showed the dudebro the pepper spray in my pocket and he was like “Right on. Would you still let me walk you to your car?” and I said yes.

So I paid, and waited while HE paid, and he walked me to my car. And just as I was getting in, the weird guy who’d been loitering came out of the store, saw me and my dudebro, and turned around and walked away in the opposite direction. 

He does this through his Prowess, his Ability to Protect.

His fight Ability, combined with his Willingness to Protect, earns him Worth in the eyes of his fellow Men.

Train and fight!

Always protect those in need!

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The MC is a girl who we’ll call Sue. Sue is a Good Girl™, Sue is Not Like Other Girls™, she is pale and awkward and a virgin and has somehow managed to find herself a Bad Boy™ for a boyfriend. We’ll call him Dickhead.

Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to pressure Sue into sex because he knows she is The One™ but he loves her really so it’s okay. Except it’s not okay because Sue is a Good Girl™ and holding out till marriage which he’s fine with except he’s got such a bad case of blue balls that one night walking home an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words “hey stud” and he follows, dick out before she’s even finished her sentence. Well turns out that was a mistake for Dickhead because she’s a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting Vampire. So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he’ll feel bad about in the morning, turns into him being bitten on the dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead. Except DBV fucked up and now he’s a vampire. Are you still with me? Good, cause it’s about to get weirder.

Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a creature of the night and feeding on animals rather than humans to repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed each night crying for the loss of her One True Love™ who she would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead never really left you! He’s been “instinctively protecting her from rapists” by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because that’s not fucking terrifying at all.

Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do nothing but blame herself. Oh if only she’d let him touch her secret places, then perhaps all of this could be avoided! Meanwhile Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late that his vampire powers have given him super senses and now he can smell her blood and he can’t decide whether he wants to get with her or eat her. And I don’t mean in the French sense. But he is strong! And over comes his base manly vampire instincts and neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic that Sue gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in all fairy tales, True Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure vagina that has never been touched by anyone, not even her, can bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and rips her clothes off, but not before he takes one last moment to marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will never again look on her again and know she is Pure.

If you’ve only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve.

So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is literally so pure in spirit, her flesh burns his. And I quote you from memory because these words are burned into my soul: “her breasts bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but he did not care because he loved her so and couldn’t stop”

This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think about on my death bed and my last words will literally be “god fucking dammit” as I die, carrying that mental image with me into the afterlife. My own solace is in knowing that I inflicted it on other people too, like @ahzuri who is somehow still with me after all these years.

When the magical burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her bruised, battered and broken with “a dainty blue bells of bruises around her secret flower” (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid) Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he fucks, leaving her to the mercy of the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true monster he really is. But wait, there’s more. Remember the dick biting vampire? Well turns out she has figured out she made him into a vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous of Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because sex before marriage which was done out of True Love is not a sin, so she is still a spiritual virgin and I’ll be honest, I started drinking heavily at this point and it’s all a bit of a blur.

A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing the mistake he has made. And he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter, but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for luring innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts off, at which point i screamed “THAT’S NOT HOW YOU REACH THE HEART” and my brain short circuited completely and I have no idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my soul couldn’t take it. I emailed the chief editor like ?????!!!!!!????!!!!!! and the book was immediately pulled from the work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house. Turns out she was a friend of a friend and that was how she got the manuscript past our entry levels for requirement.

And even then the post I DID share back on LJ, was vague as shit and didn’t go into detail because I had no desire to be fired for bitching about work online. Most of the horror was recounted directly over windows messenger to people like @ahzuri who could be relied upon to scream “What the Fuck” at all the right intervals while I had a minor breakdown over my workload.

Happily I now no longer suffer from such contractual restraints and you all get to suffer with me :)

But yea, no. Unless someone else was bitching about it publicly back in 2012 (and I know the other editor who worked on it got fired so it’s not impossible), you saw it here first on my tumblr early 2016.

Which god help me was honestly a simpler, more hopeful timeline than the one we’re currently in.