imagining the sounds of a butch unbuckling their belt, pulling down their jeans and boxers in one motion, and sinking wetly onto their femme's drooling cock

Twitter has simultaneously stopped showing if a retweet is a retweet - while people are already complaining at length about seeing tweets from people they don't follow, so hiding this will just make more people angry - and has changed their icon to the doge meme in what may have been a April Fools Day joke that was scheduled two days late. Amazing

what the fuck is twitter

Wait. What's a Wyoming?

Last night I dreamt I had to catch a rare golden cockroach for scientists and then naturally we went to a sex club to celebrate where a girl sat on my face but she complained the whole time and said “it’s like you’re thinking about cockroaches or something”

you have to sexualize me its for my mental health

The horrors… they are truly astonishing… (not being cuddled)

*sext* I'd take care of you when you're not feeling well and I'd gently run my fingers through your hair while you sleep soundly on my chest

i think that presenting cannibalism as a metaphor for intimacy was perhaps one of the greatest things we ever did as a society. Like you’re telling me you want to eat me, make me a part of you, consume me? that’s so romantic, tell me more, i love you

^is thinking about a messy kinky t4t orgy again

i don't want to look "hot" i want to look alluring, haunting, bewitching. i want to look like the kind of person hozier would write a song about.