yoyo

my astigmatism lets me see beautiful angels before i drive into oncoming traffic

be honest. are you guys only hanging out with me because of the prophecy.

Weed gummy should cost 50¢ and be sold out of vending machines and at corner stores

I'm sure the kids can scrounge up 50¢

I was meant to be a character in a low budget horror movie in 2005 wearing a short sleeved shirt over a long sleeved shirt to signify to the audience that I am an enjoyer of music

what does this mean, why are y'all dressing like Sheldon Cooper

Just found out I was thirsty not by receiving a signal from my body about it but by dozing off and dreaming about cold water from different alluring angles. This is great. I think all my wants and needs should be revealed to me this way

"fuck it we ball" is for stress about the future "it is what it is" is for stress about the past and "this too shall pass" is for stress about the present thank you for coming to my TED talk