vita pergit

y’know…. conversations about world war ii would be a lot more bearable and constructive if white men found that period rightly horrific rather than pornographic 

you’re not fucking odysseus, go to therapy

The Peel is an offshoot of the Onion but honestly if someone told me this was real slam poetry I wouldn’t even question it

grown ass adults every time a disney sequel gets released: leave your kids at home 👏🏼👏🏼 this one’s for the 90s babies 💯💯💯 i will literally beat the SHIT out of any child i see in the theater 👊🏼😤👊🏼

also part of growing up is realizing that the embarrassing music you liked in your early teen years still goes hard as hell

where’s the pic of that guy’s tinder bio where he says something along the lines of “well i’m a fat fuck with a big truck. welcome to the shitshow.”

thanks. this is literally the best tinder bio ever

i went to the gym today and there was a guy going to TOWN on the punching bags so i asked him “rough night?” and he said “my wife’s on a business trip and i miss her” and if that isnt the most steve rogers thing in the world idk what is

This is the closest gif that can really capture the utter chaotic energy that is released when people hear this song