Hameleosha

I almost didn't draw anything because I genuinely felt awful but I did something Smaugust Day 2 Frosty

Smaugust (slopgust) Day 1 tropical or something along these lines Subjectively promt list IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN! I heavily debated not doing it this time because my life is at it's lowest (I already rejected artfight for that reason), but otherwise I'd have practically nothing else to do so screw it. Surely I can't fumble when there's barely any sense of standards left... Speaking of which I have no fucking idea what to do tomorrow already. This was supposed to be laid back or something? Nuh uh, HIGH CORTISOL! I will make sure this brings me maximum stress. This is one of my spore creatures that I like more than the others it's like one of my favorites. Looks dragon enough and it's a dragon because I said so Two days ago my thumb got swollen for no fucking reason, it's not swollen now but still hurts a little. This didn't impact the quality, I already planned to put the least amount of effort into this because I'd fucking die, my hand was already in pain by the time I finished the first drawing, that was only like an hour maybe and a half, If I were to take the effort route I'd have to spend about 6 hours and I'm not fucking doing that let alone every day I'm too old for that, also it'd really suck if the drawing flops (by that I mean it doesn't turn out how I wanted to and ends up being total garbage despite the hours spent on it) I would rather be safe and not feel like I wasted my time, I can make a drawing with effort any other time when my body is actually capable of doing so

I said I won't bother trying again but I did it anyways because I have already proven I'm incapable of learning from mistakes John Shloringus Just ignore that it's day because I failed to get a night picture for a really long time ever since I got this idea, also this one wasn't meant for this specific one tbh it wasn't taken with anything in mind but whatever Maybe I'll try again if I magically survive against all odds Trying to post my art more scarcely cuz lowkey I'm attention seeking and mashing multiple various drawings into one post where in like 3 out of the 5 socials I use you can only see the first image unless you bother interacting with the post lowkey makes me feel like I'm throwing out the other ones into a burning garbage can, I know I hate myself and think my art is worth even less than nothing and that the world is genuinely better off without me in it, but I'm also selfish and despite everything I still put CARE and effort into my art so I feel butthurt every time it gets zero attention. So I'll try to force myself to be an annoying bih and spam slop instead of dumping it in bulk. Emphasis on try

I don't wan't to draw anything so I lowkey trying to force myself to jump on every passing idea in my head instead of being picky First 3 pics are self explanatory I just decided to get "creative" with miscellaneous elements I have observed in my life. The first one got born out of the thought that Aekhloria (Sunhiausa's alias) logo resembled a crown to me, I also used one of the songs that was currently in my head (Aekhloria - The Truth) as underbaked background inspiration and also the text is from that song, also used a different older song to use it's visualizer colors for that dark blue spacey look of the character. Speedcore extratone and etc sounds godly to me especially Aekhloria's so the character is a demigod, maximum projection. Second one same process, at some point of perceiving the Confession Of Lazarus (album by Diabarha) logo I decided that it could be used as an eye but I gave everything else 0 effort I just drew what I felt like drawing without any reason or point. Slight Mariana Trench influence cuz fih and I was listening to that song when I got the idea but like it's barely relevant Last pic is different however because the visual just spawned into my brain like I was laying down with my eyes closed and suddenly saw this. This thing happens sometimes where things just spawn in my head, I am already familiar with that phenomenon. It's funky cuz it's almost like seeing a character in your dream but not quite, it's sort of half dream half not dream situation, the thought wasn't conscious, it literally just appears out of nowhere. I remember when my age was in single digits I was laying under a blanket, then this ominous glowing triangle appears, flickers in and out of existence a few times, THEN IT FUCKING CHARGES AT ME JUMPSCARING ME INTO GETTING UP??? This could've just been light from the room coming through the hole formed by a specific folded formation of the blanket, it flickering could've been me blinking and it doing the foxy jumpscare at me could've been me subconsciously adjusting myself, here's the thing I wasn't aware of that, I might've been blinking because who doesn't but I wasn't aware if I was blinking, from my perspective it looked like the triangle was doing this on it's own... I wasn't aware of myself moving either, for me I thought I was still. There technically isn't any concrete evidence that this wasn't some supernatural shit because I can't confirm nor deny what tf happened back then. Good thing there's this world's very code confirming that any nightmares are only of your own making, I wouldn't fucking survive if my paranoia was justified, this world's boringness is a saving grace just like how my lethargy helps keep me contained, just like how my dreams are programmed to only show my interests on extremely rare occasions because it knows I can't handle stimuli, my dreams are boring nothingburgers with too much genreic non-descript real life things and I found out that it's for my own good. I appreciate the occasional regurgitated scraps of my interests, it's better than nothing. Speaking of which I made a model of another dream guy but I hate myself too much so I was holding off from posting it because I didn't think it was good enough, I focus on digital art and attention seeking so posting nothing but screenshots and gifs of my 3D models makes me feel awful, which is against the whole "I hate professionalism, embrace the stupid" thing I was trying to achieve... Guess I forgot about that because any opportunity at self loathing takes priority

Bro thinks he so sigma tuff tuff sahur aurafarm so corny bro so aurafarm corny corny aurafarm edgy tuff corny tiktok alight motion free download please end my suffering i beg you It's a frame from an animation that I will never finish because I fucking hate it. It's the only frame like this in the entire thing. Uploading this individually so it doesn't go to waste because it lowkey goes hard and has funky wacky perspective that I think it does genuinely look decent or maybe I'm just a loser and I should just execute myself already it's overdue anyways POV ur steve and your ribs about to get the hydralic press treatment

Dream guy thing entity wowzer You wouldn't believe what site I came back to just to infodump lore of this guy: [ https://toyhou.se/40413464.object-species ] First pic is the first concept art, second pic is a more refined reference sheet just for them. There's another dream guy on the first pic I will make him sometime later, there's also a third dream guy I have to make that I'm not sharing the first sketch of because it's straight up too ugly Third pic is a poorly made rarity chart that isn't supposed to be taken literally but just portray the general vibes of things There's two gifs one of them being silly and the other one is a snippet from a showcase video I uploaded on youtube, recreating one small part of my dream and the rest just showing their "behavior" in action. I also uploaded the first gif with added sound and I think it's really funny. Links jumpscare: Showcase [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJxRJWKN0uM ] Gif with sound [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-44WG0gRCyA ] we're cool with that right? Fourth pic is sort of liminal screenshot of what the map from the showcase video looks like out of bounds I just thought it looks neat so I saved it And lastly I squeezed a vent in there but it's not really a vent I just drew how I felt at that exact moment of drawing it, which was the feeling of emptiness and disintegration [Announcement] Based on an incredibly useful amount of feedback from the last post across five different socials, with a whole total of one (1) response, I have decided to ignore it and choose not to do it because I simply don't feel like it. Based on the data I have gathered from that experience, from now on I will make sure to be as isolated as possible, refraining from any attempts at basic interaction and refraining from asking for things I don't deserve

Thx for the heart attack google I knew I could totally trust a multi trillion dollar corporation with my data (WHO THE F SIGNED UP MY EMAIL FOR SOME RANDOM BS!!!!! 👹👹👹👹👹👹 DON'T HACK Y ACCOUNT HACK SOMEONE ELSE PLEASE I HAVE NOTHING FOR YOU) Anyways can y'all like help me out a little, I'm kinda being pressured for one therapy appointment, the question is do I lock in and write down everything that's wrong with me or is it not worth the effort, yes or no? What if it doesn't work what if they either just send me to the psych ward because god forbid I mention self harm, or just won't care and brush it off like the last one did. I don't wanna end up wasting effort and confessing my sins for nothing. I know my entire existence consists of avoiding interactions so I don't expect anyone to be nice to me because I never reciprocated and never will... Talking to a wall every time, I isolate myself from people for a reason Also they made me so mad because you see their incredibly vague and non reflective of any real life scenarios test's results showed me I don't have depression and don't have any problems with my intellect, okay the second one's making me a bit pressed but what do you mean not depressed I am LITERALLY DYING is it not the most obvious thing in the entire universe? If not depresiion then what tf is it? Not wanting to wake up every day? Not wanting to live every day? The extreme desire to literally do nothing but rot? I'm existing, not living. Ragebait, makes me want to commit just cuz I'm that mad about it, that's why I'm skeptical of whether or not I should bother telling their therapists my problems, because from what I've seen all they can do is tell me to fuck myself Anyways I made stupid lizard 3D and he looks more like a twig than any dweller ever. Maybe blockbench had an update because I remember last time when I selected one texture the other one just went invisible, but this time it decided to not do that. I did those other animations over a year ago by frankensteining the textures into one image, which was fine for a player model but definitely wouldn't be fine for this trillion polygon twig, his UVs are cursed and broken it literally wouldn't be possible to realign them because they just don't want to obey for some reason don't ask me idfk what's going on The last gif is like really old because I just forgot about it when I made it lol, was testing camra animation. Also second to last gif I randomly got distracted and made asphyxiation backflip for no reason Wait actually is there any way to make blockbench models reflect light so I don't have to make them gray It's still hard for me to see on the second image because eveything kinda blends in together so there's a turnaround gif just in case Wait why is the background in last gif a slightly different color, what, I just noticed that…

Idk what to write here, rabid creature turned more rabid and creature Dude the temperatures suck I felt like a sinner burning in hell, friendship with summer is over I fucking hate summer spring is goated I spent two all nighters making this shit, instead of going to sleep I thought maybe if I'm super extra tired I'll fall asleep more easily (because I'm being restless lately) but no not really it didn't really help that much it just made my head hurt Damn bro these all suck but whatever Why did I press one button and tumblr decided to duplicate all the text I wrote like why (I don't even fucking know how I did that I literally just tried to simply typle another sentence) Pic 4 is my irl house I had it for a while and didn't know what to do with it so I ended up going for something generic and it sucks btw because idfk how lighting works like genuinely I just suck, also brightened because the og was too dark you'd probably see nothing even if you squint Ok I made him way too skinny because my brain was fucking nonexistent, you'd think I'm incapable of perception all the times but when it's past my bedtime it somehow gets even worse womp womp skill issue I should've grated my skin off instead Anyways I should probably skedaddle right fucking now before I start trying to harm myself because I never feel well in my entire life

RELEASE THE VENTSLOP SO MUCH VENTSLOP Ok from a purely artistic point of view I genuinely love making how some of these look, it's just so awesome, and perfectly fits my mental health too. I genuinely think this is cool but I use the way how chaotic it looks to represent my pain The order of these is all over the place but the very last picture predates all of those by a long time, you can tell it was made before the switch happened from "empty" to "AAAAAAAAA" Yeah you're free to laugh how I used god damn fnaf 4 to represent as a vent, even I know how corny and cringe this looks I genuinely can't bother explaining these trust me I already tried and it just doesn't come off properly and doesn't explain it the way i want to There's gonna be times when I occasionally spew my morbid lore by small pieces and you can piece things together yourself, in fact that's already the case for some of my posts I believe, because I love crying so ventslop occasionally slips up into any post I make Pic 6 contains random irrelevant doodles I hope it's obvious which one is the ventiest (definitely not me trying to draw crail for the first time from memory), pic 8 is literally character design but it's personal and vent coded so it counts, pic 4 uses pic 3 pixelated and copy and pasted a bunch as a background I originally planned to release vents with no tags but uhhh fuck it we ball can anyone else agree some of these look like bangers

Dude I gotta stop hoarding this one is almost 3 weeks old why is it this hard just to post a picture online How surprising it's another drawing of my favorite dweller slop Also another overdesigned slop doodle and the entity from wonderland for no reason cuz I got bored once, those 2 are from mobile with lasso tool The rest I have in my backlog is garbage and half are vents I don't even know how to begin posting those, I might just post them all at once idfk

I saw youtbe shorts of this random animal generator and wanted to do this too so here's Taxes the nightmare fuel

Don't wat h if your allergic to epilepsy

Callback to the time I installed random horror mods and this mf was drilling holes in my mountain house like god damn termites He funny lookin so I decided to draw him I think his design is pretty neat actually I figured out how to make animations work in blockbench (just install geckolib plugin, good thing I found the solution in some random github report of all things, like ok bro) and so I was looking at his transormation animations and was just thinking hell yeah this is pretty cool ngl I drew this a few days ago. I spent 3 hours playing FE2 today and I made 2 noobs die cuz they decided to follow me after I won and was dilly dallying climbing random shit, I can't stop playing so probably won't do anything productive for a while (as if I was capable of productivity when I wasn't occupied with anything), well good thing I still have a few more things to post in my backlog I actually feel extremely unwell so spending all my free time on roblox game is a good thing actually because it's distracting me from the nonstop hysteria fits I've been having ever since I decided to inflict severe psychological harm on myself 🤓☝, better worry about farming gems for rainbow sword than the AGONY (it doesn't mean I don't experience hysteria it just takes a small chunk of it away)

Wait your telling me I can upload gifs from mobile but not computer why

Well I just had a mental breakdown and made myself rstless so I can't sleep, guess I'm posting stuff I made a bit ago that I procrastinated on posting cuz mental health is in shambles Epileptic Breakdown but with design elements leaning slightly more into Star Glitcher style because it was it's subconscious inspiration behind the design. If you remember the comic... No you don't. I slandered the wrong video in there, let's adress the elephant in the room it was a stolen edit of a script that blew up but that particular one had things that shouldn't be allowed in a kids game and exploiting videos were popular and guess what the majority of the audience was kids including me. The SG community seems to have distanced itself from that incident (not like I would know, I'm not part of it)which is good but like let's not pretend that it never happened, it was kind of bothering me but I'm trying to move on. Aren't I so glad that trauma is a permanent unhealable wound that never stops bleedng ha h a Now about the other pictures 1 is a mysterious rainbow I encountered, rainbows usually happen after rain and on the opposite side from where the sun is, and usually forms an arch. This one was about 15 degress away from the sun (aka on the same side where the sun is, not directly opposite of it), just casually existing on a rain-less day??? And also it seems to be straight (not bent in an arch/circle like the regular rainbow) but it might be just because it's too short idk? All I can say is that it was an unusual occurence for me 2 I found that rainbow slug thing but small and as a keychain. The big one was too expensive for me but then I found this one and it was affordable and definitely worth it, I think that's like really cool and awesome 3 Randomly decided to make Asphyxiation model that I wanted to 3D print, with no prior research, thats just how I tend to do things I wanted to see if I can just freeball it in the least appropriate way possible cuz that's mecore, and it's supposed to have moveable parts so I can pose it and stuff. This one is not the final thing cuz I did eventually figure out that it's incredubly flawed who would've guessed, then I lowkey just got demotivated a bit cuz the joints were driving me mad and I haven't touched it in like 2 weeks... Making joints when you're just a stupid amoeba that wanted to have thing just for the sake of it is really damn hard

Bro thinks he's aurafarming Randomly decided to give that OC a more humanoid look just like how I did with Shatter because I don't like how it looks like a recolor of my old sona. I don't really like how it turned out though, I don't really like the hair even though that was the whole reason why I drew this, I didn't even plan to make a full drawing out of this thats why the composition sucks, but I already finished halfway before I realized so I finished this because I'd hate all these hours to go to waste. The consequence of always entering a state of delirium every fucking time I try to draw I guess. I hate drawing the stupid gun thing it was the hardest thing to draw out of all of this bruh, but I think it turned out alright. I think he looks very stupid with the closed mouth and the eyes and the hair I just don't like how this looks completely different vibe from the usual Also have some bugs I guess Now the unrelated yapping you can scroll past this. My head is throbbing again and this time it didn't pass, it's still throbbing, sometimes even sending shockwaves down to my fingers. I don't know why, if it's because I'm off the useless overpriced poison called antidepressants I'm going to be very angry I'm already angry. I started taking them there was no difference, I increased the dose there was no difference, I lowered the dose trying to get off of them there was no difference, now I'm fully off of them and there's no difference BESIDES the uncalled brain pulsations. Not only did they not fucking help me at all but they have the AUDACITY to make me feel like shit when I try to get rid of them. Not only that but I also couldn't sleep, I slept for only two hours and abruptly woke up at 3 AM and couldn't sleep until morning. I'd say fml but it already is Also was in a crowded subway today and some random old woman touched me very rudely because I was holding my phone listening to music, I didn't hear her complaints I only heard something about my phone bro what the FUCK is your problem. I bolted out of there thankfully got just in time to get to the stairs, I hope she gets put in her place I hate her what the fuck was her problem LITERALLY WHATS WRONG I WAS JUST EXISTING somebody tell her just how much i fucking hate her. I hate crowded places there's too many fucking people , make less people, I HATE PEOPLE, not as muh as her in particular though. there's still too many people in this world when some places literally look like a box of fucking mealworms it's that fucking crowded. even cutting the entire earths population in half wouldnt be enough bro we need a mass extinction event DESPERATELY

I haven't slept and I was like almost fainting but as I was drawing my body lowkey forgot it was dying 😂 also this is the only time when I can allow myself to post this, I genuinely couldn't when I was in a "sober" mindset, personal mentally ill stuff holding me back. Behold, DWELLER SONA!!! Now here's the GOOD part, I genuinely want to look like this in REAL LIFE, DEADASS, DEAD SERIOUS, 100% SERIOUS, 1000% DELUSION. I AM WILLING TO DEAL WITH EVERY SINGLE CONSEQUENCE JUST AS LONG AS I CAN BE THIS!!! I'M GENUINELY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS!!! (type of behavior only when you have nothing to lose) AAAAAAAAAAAA I THINK LIKE A CRITTER I ACT LIKE A CRITTER I AM DESTINED TO BE A CRITTER!!!!!!! LET ME BE A CRITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL BECOME A CRITTER NGHHHHHH MANIFESTING SO HARD RN. I imagine wagging my nonexistent tail every day!!!!!!! I even put a lot of effort into depicting specifically how he/I would look like in real life (on the right) (to my best ability ofc), that's how DEDICATED and SERIOUS I am!!!!!! You can totally trust me with the claws and teeth, I am actually all bark and no bite, I feel bad even harming people in my dreams when the consequences don't matter Design is heavily inspired by the man I'm OBSESSED with, let me tell you how much I LOVE CANTBREATHE, I DON'T KNOW WHY I JUST DO, I'm so obsessed not to the point of wanting to be WITH him, but to the point I want to BE (like) HIM. Sometimes when I find myself physically exhausted, I think of cantbreathe, I think of how STRONG he is and how he is my idol and stuff, that gives me motivation during physical workout. That one time when I slipped and fell and had to endure growing AGONY in my hip I was thinking how cantbreathe wouldn't be bothered by such an insignificant injury, I tried to stay strong and perservere because of him, even though I couldn't stop dying from unimaginable pain, I at least tried my best to stay strong. Been obsessed for over a year now btw :3 You know how strong he is? He literally can't breathe (barely actually but whatever), and despite that he can somehow YELL REALLY LOUD and also RUN VERY FAST and also INSTAKILL (in some versions), also in V2 when he's idle he literally leans back at such an angle you'd need some REALLY DAMN STRONG ABDOMINAL PRESS and just SO MUCH SHEER STRENGTH to just hold in such a position. ABSOLUTE FLEX!!! OH MY GAWDDD!!!!! KILL ME SENPAI!!!!!!!!!!! Also in some versions he's like a literal god, if all the other stuff still wasn't enough to define his strength HES LITERALL REFERRED TO AS GOD IN CANTBREATHE ASPHYXIATION NIGHTMARE. HIS LUNGS MAY BE CRUSHED BUT THAT DOESN'T INCONVENINCE HIM IN THE SLIGHTEST Oh and also gave him the lost's eyes cuz why not lol (maximum goober energy eyes for the goober (also SLIGHTLY different to avoid copyright/j))