| risen from ash |

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

hey man I found a piece of your soul stuck in the text messages of old friends you don’t speak to anymore. do you want it back

i say "godspeed, soldier" way too much for someone who puts their faith in neither god nor the military

Dear professor this assignment did not nourish my fundamentally curious soul so i did not do it No penalty full 100 points please Goodbye!

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

hi, ummm. this is awkward. haha. yeah um do you think you could push your boulder up somewhere else? like a different hill? because this one’s kind of already taken. yeah it’s the one i’ve decided to die on, so.

yeah thanks. um and if you see that woman who sometimes comes running up here could you tell her that i’m- yeah the one who makes all those deals with god. yeah. could you tell her this is the hill i’m dying on and she needs to find a different one? fuck hang on i can see those two kids with that pail of water again give me a second-

this too shall pass

HURRY UP

“why do you stretch your shoulderblades so much?” my wings boy. boy my wings

xisuma's recent video with mumbo shows that if you've known someone since they were 17 you're far more given to accept, without question, that they are willfully doing something incredibly stupid.

wdym an average platonic bond cant be deep and meaningful do none of you remember the power of friendship