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(To the tune of Rasputin): BLEH BLEH DRACULA, KING OF TRANSYLVANIA, HE IS A BAT AND ALSO A MAN

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“quit letting him bite you” well why ever would i do that. He needs enrichment. love
Let's ambush mama! 😼
"Why do Pallas cats always look grumpy?"
"Pallas kittens."
The sheer roundness of this kitten must be admired.
me: to really understand Frankenstein, we have to take into account that Mary Shelley was surrounded by creative men who really didn’t take her seriously, so in addition to sci-fi horror, it can also be read as an exploration of female creative frustration and-
The burglar that broke into my house: bodily autonomy?
me: exactly. Now,

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my devoted but dangerously unstable knight will be hearing about this
Not... always. I think its more i just get overwhelmed sometimes.
I was a wild kid too but its different being on this side of the situation i guess. I love it and love them but oof...
The family they were born into doesn't exactly help. Well, they do, but they also enable at times. Like dick teaching nico how to tumble and such. But then with that control comes confidence and then I have him leaping off the couch trying to flip onto a table.
It feels more like he's TRYING to kill himself at that point and less like clueless wobble baby.
You're a human mortal, getting overwhelmed with the idea of abilities is normal for you, I think.. For many, it's a given.
Well, hey. If he lands on the table wrong and becomes a paraplegic you won't have to worry any more. But I still say that, especially by his age, if you tell him not to do these sort of stunts in the house he should listen. And EVERYONE should also listen.
And he does! Mostly. Because sometimes I get the "mom, watch!" And by then its too late.
But... Red does a good job when he's home. He wrestles and wrangles them. He reads to them a lot too.
Okay but most normal human kids don't have the potential to like.. lazer blast a kid off the swingset is the sort of harm im imagining.
Like yeah I can't and wouldn't lazer them back but I can't exactly tank a ray blast. Ya know?
Of course they don't have powers right now. But god if coffee actually winds them up MORE then what could they be capable of?
Laser blasts? Really? Okay, hypothetically you have a kid who can shoot lasers, you'd either give them up to those who can take care of the kid, develop your own prevention or protection, or uhhh let the kid accidentally murder you I guess.
You have such a tumultuous grip on your kids..
Not... always. I think its more i just get overwhelmed sometimes.
I was a wild kid too but its different being on this side of the situation i guess. I love it and love them but oof...
The family they were born into doesn't exactly help. Well, they do, but they also enable at times. Like dick teaching nico how to tumble and such. But then with that control comes confidence and then I have him leaping off the couch trying to flip onto a table.
It feels more like he's TRYING to kill himself at that point and less like clueless wobble baby.
Okay but I don't have powers to counter that is my main worry. I don't want them or someone else getting hurt if they go too crazy.
You just have to accept that they're going to hurt someone. Regular human kids hurt people all the time.
A kid bites and punches and screams, you don't go "oh damn I can't bite and punch and scream back at my kid this is so hard" that's what this sounds like right now
Okay but most normal human kids don't have the potential to like.. lazer blast a kid off the swingset is the sort of harm im imagining.
Like yeah I can't and wouldn't lazer them back but I can't exactly tank a ray blast. Ya know?
Of course they don't have powers right now. But god if coffee actually winds them up MORE then what could they be capable of?

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The thing about kids is that they’re so little
Im too scared to try, honestly.
Last thing I need is a kid with super speed or any sort of super powers
All 5 of my kids have unique abilities and magic, it's not so bad and you're putting yourself in a strange mindset by sticking to this perspective..
Okay but I don't have powers to counter that is my main worry. I don't want them or someone else getting hurt if they go too crazy.
No one did. Theyre just Like That!
Then they don't have coffee in their veins
Though actually I think coffee, or any caffeine, might sedate them..
Im too scared to try, honestly.
Last thing I need is a kid with super speed or any sort of super powers
Oh right! Do they help with the littlest?
And yes. Community definitely helps. Especially with these ones with coffee in their veins
No, no. My older kids have their own lives to lead.
There's dozens of other adults that we live with, so it doesn't feel like the burden is on one person when all the children are surrounded like that. ..Who gave them coffee?
No one did. Theyre just Like That!
God. You have three kids at once. I can't even imagine.
Even with mine being different ages I can hardly manage two.
I can't imagine a third.
I have five kids, actually. Though the eldest two are technically adults I don't know if you count that..
It's not that bad! We have a community, it's not just like trying to wrangle them all on our own
Oh right! Do they help with the littlest?
And yes. Community definitely helps. Especially with these ones with coffee in their veins

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Yes but he's six and active so having it not just fall apart is the main challenge because he will want to look the part for hours
He'll just have to learn to be careful. That was a hard lesson for the triplets but they eventually figured out to be nicer to their clothes..
God. You have three kids at once. I can't even imagine.
Even with mine being different ages I can hardly manage two.
I can't imagine a third.
"So I want two rocky arms and a leg and then the crystals going off the rock into the sweater and matching the colors..."
This boy has it planned out where he's gonna need like.. prosthetics
Sounds like all you need to do is put the foam where he asks..
Yes but he's six and active so having it not just fall apart is the main challenge because he will want to look the part for hours