hazel

Being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of my classmates told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when I asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was just a baby and to this day the mental image of NASA launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

the other day i was perusing the dessert options in the dining hall and this group of absolute stereotypical frat boy types were also milling around the desserts and one of them pointed to the strawberry pastries and said to the others “what’s the vibe with these, boys?” and i haven’t been able to get that sentence out of my head since

how do i explain plato’s allegory of the cave  to a dog

A mini babybel is a semi-hard cheese encased in a colored wax with an outer cellophane wrapper, placed in a netted bag. To reach the cheese you must unravel three layers; the netted bag, cellophane wrap, and colored wax. Tell me, Will…what shall I find when I peel back your layers? Will I find something satiating? A rewarding and delicious journey, inevitably leading to your demise, but my fulfillment?? Or am I to uncover your true self and set you free, unimpeded from that which binds you?

I hope everyone is having a fucking day

One saiyan saga Vegeta

one buu saga gohan

One comics Wolverine.

i was today years old when i learned hugh jackman is nearly a foot taller than comics wolverine

I am 20 bricks tall.

I’m 0.953125 Abraham Lincoln

Turned up nose, turned down hose, flapper? Yessir, one of those.

i don’t know if elephants understand politics but i Highly doubt they would be republicans

straight vampires are so unrealistic

imagine being heterosexual for all eternity.. pass