rainism

[ you’re probably right. i just have so much dread before i go to a therapist. it’s not healthy but it’s so much easier to just compartmentalize. ]

he sighed. he got it, unfortunately. he understood. gently taking her hand and squeezing, he looked her in the eye. “well... i’m no professional, but you know i’m always here to listen, right? i may not have solutions, but i have time to listen.”

[ i was mostly joking. of course i got a ton of therapy when everything happened… i haven’t gone in a couple years, which is probably a mistake, but i haven’t felt like i needed it ]

“well..... i can’t tell you what to do, nor am i in any place to decide how your metal state is for you. but it could be good to go back. sometimes you don’t thank you need something until it’s too late.”

the woman laughed, rolling her eyes

[ maybe i just need to be in therapy ]

“haena, honey, if you’re not already in therapy, it’s something you should probably look into,” he laughed, rolling his eyes right back.

she sighed. 

[ how   do you manage to stay so positive despite absolutely everything? it’s a skill i need to learn ]

“it’s all how you talk to yourself. inner dialogue,” ilyoon replied. “and it’s hard. it takes a long time. but the more you retrain yourself to be kind, the softer and more generous your general outlook is.”

[ don’t they? haven’t you of all people seen the worst of this industry, ilyoon? ]

“i have. you know i have. but focusing on just the people who have done me wrong, instead of the thousands of people who have been there for me and have helped me on my way? seems silly.”

“both my dogs are good dogs. the best dogs, actually. really proud of them for just goin out there every day and being the best…”

“they’re clearly just following suit after their owner-- you’re a role model.”

“I can’t imagine being a soloist myself, that would be so weird,” Baohui said. “But yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a big group – I’ve gotten to know a couple of the guys a little but I’m still awkward with them.”

“yeah, exactly! he’s really well behaved, though. like he’s nuts, but he’s house trained and not destructive and has never bitten or nipped me or anything, so i’m optimistic.”

“those are all the important pieces! seems like you have a good dog on your hands.”

[ i would certainly hope so, but you never know. maybe she just has really good connections. or the intelligence to be careful about who she acts a fool around. ]

“now, don’t be pessimistic. i’d like to think she’s probably just a bit naive and clueless. not everyone has terrible intentions,” ilyoon teased.