I just saw three "oh fiddlesticks, that really ruffles my feathers" reblogs in a row, one right after the other right after the other.
If that isn't a sign that this fandom is hilariously tiny, then I don't know what is.

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@h4e
I just saw three "oh fiddlesticks, that really ruffles my feathers" reblogs in a row, one right after the other right after the other.
If that isn't a sign that this fandom is hilariously tiny, then I don't know what is.

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You know what I like? Nasty bitter whumpees.
Whumpees who get violent when people touch them.
The ones who have no problem backtalking people as a defense.
Those who act the way people expect them too.
Whumpees who are self-destructive.
The ones who gain rage issues.
Those who hate the thought of being a crying child.
bitter whumpees <3
State Interns
So the states kinda have like an implied job in the political world. That means that they might get interns! And I think they do. And here’s some ideas that I (and other people in server) had. (DC is District of Columbia)
These are college interns. They had to apply. Gov wrote up the applications so it was uniform across all the states. (And so nobody could slip extra stuff into it.)
Now, states (and DC, Gov, and IDC) can have preferences or specific requirements for their interns. For example:
- IDC’s only takes on women or non-binary interns
- Hawai’i’s requirements are Hawai’ian ancestry
- New Mexico only takes on BIPOC interns
- Kentucky’s requirements are Deaf/HoH interns only.
And other states also give preference to those with disabilities, or who are minority, or non-male, or from below the poverty line. etc. (The South actually has a lot of these preferences in place. New York has a disability preference.)
There’s a difference between requirement and preference. Requirement means that if nobody matching those qualities applies, then they just won’t have an intern. Preference means if they’ll look at application from outside those qualities, and even accept them if they’re good enough.
All the disabled interns have accommodations. The states fight for there to be accommodations
The interns will have to run reports between states. And with those reports, sometimes they need to also send insults. Because they were asked to.
For example. The California and Texas interns get along. They both recognize that most of Cali and Tex’s rivalry is “white people bullshit”.
CA Intern: Here’s a report on exports planned to your state. And… sigh… Cali says to tell you to tell Texas that he’s still as stupid as he is big.
TX Intern: Thanks for that. I’ll meet you for coffee later. And Texas says to tell you to tell Cali that he’s as dumb as his hat is ugly.
This goes for most of the rivalries. They all find it tiring. Except for Ohio’s Intern. She’s weird though.
There’s other requests too. For example:
Wyoming Intern: Hey Gov, Wyoming twisted his ankle at the rodeo and can’t show up. So he asked me to drop these off. And to…“Test if you can point to him on a map yet”
Utah has been called ‘dad’ by a few interns. He accepts it. He loves it even. And in his office he has cookies. So at the end of every day the interns can stop by and get a cookie before they leave.
Claire, Mother Nature’s Intern, is the “Momma Intern”. She runs the group chat and teaches everybody how to deal with immortal idiots. Even though Gabriel is an angel, he’s allowed to join because he’s basically an intern.
When Greg takes on an intern, it’s to train them to take over for him.
Florida’s intern is not as chaotic as her state. She’s learned to get a handle on him. Because she is not letting him ruin her chances of getting certain people out of office.
Alaska’s intern wants to make friends with everybody. She even has friendship bracelets.
West Virginia has unionized the interns. They already had the best possible benefits and everything. This was just over the inclusion of a Pizza Friday tradition.
Speaking of benefits. It’s a paid position. Because when the organizers brought it up, they tried to make it unpaid at first. All they were able to say was “Unpaid internship” and West Virginia was out of his seat, beating them with his prosthetic leg and screaming about “Blair Mountain Part Two!”.
Interns for the states! And the chaos that brings!
YOU. YOU HAVE THE GOOD IDEAS—
Can I just say, as a fandom, I kind of love how most of us decided Kentucky is a sweetheart who doesn’t want to hurt anyone
Like yeah sometimes he shows up because his state has done some fuck shit but I do enjoy how we mostly present him as someone who just loves his horses, bourbon, and Daddy Andy
It’s like how we all decided West Virginia has younger brother energy
When a fandom collectively decides on a headcanon, you know it's bound to become canon—
Utah: oh fiddlesticks, that really ruffles my feathers
Florida, crying: please just say fuck

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Everyone gets super upset that it’s not Ar-Kansas, and he’s upset when people say that.
"There's millions of Tumblr users" to you. To me There's only about 12 and we all reblog the same five posts from each other
‘Fixer Upper’ from Frozen, but Alaska is Kristoff and the trolls are the rest of The WestTM trying to set him up with a partner
Everyone in the west desperately pushing their tallass friend into the hands of Texas like "We know he's a bit grumpy but pls take him—"
Your fifth most recent emoji is what your soulmate thinks about you
💚 @avtomatkalashnikova
Gov

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BEN NO
GO BACK TO REST, SIR—
The Table/Statehouse Backrooms!AU
Uh oh, guess who got a case of brainrot! I thought too much about Greg falling into the Backrooms and now this exists.
A darker and more horror-centric AU for The Table where the personifications are entities in the Backrooms. It follows the perspective of Greg the Sound Guy who fell into the Backrooms one day and now finds himself at the mercy of these entities. He is now trying to survive his situation, learn about this spatial anomaly he's stuck in, and escape his captors. All the while, Greg is hoping and praying that he can one day find his way back home. He does not have a good time.
This is literally everything.
Can’t wait until Ben adds countries. So people will finally stop writing Mexico like this evil abuser of “poor innocent Texas” and maybe start to actually look up the history of the area and realize that Texas was a little entitled shit head who broke laws so that slavery could continue and then through a temper-tantrum when Mexico finally said “enough of this horrible behavior”.
Iowa and his Mug
Everyone has a specific mug that pretty much represents them in the Statehouse. We've seen some of them- Texas with his Buc'ees, PA with the big ass Wawa cup, Minnesota and his forest mugs, Mass with the Dunkin' cup. I'm sure we can find the perfect mug for every state. But let me tell you about Iowa's mug. It's not fancy or in your face. It's a simple 20oz black and gold metal tumbler with the Iowa Hawkeyes symbol. It also happens to be one of the most hated mugs within the Statehouse. For one simple reason- The Big 10 conference. Nebraska, Minnesota, and Wisconsin hate the Hawkeyes for their own reasons. It more stems from their long-standing football rivalry or, in Nebraska's defense- the pure hatred they have for each other. All three have attempted to misplace or destroy the metal tumbler in multiple ways (Nebraska risked destroying a turbine just to see the mug disappear). But they have all failed- either Iowa found the mug, or it seems indestructable cause they found Iowa the next day drinking from it. The Hawkeye mug never dies! They seem to forget the one thing that Iowa shares with them. He's a farmer. He's resourceful; his stuff has been beaten, battered, and dented, and he would still use it. It also doesn't help that he has multiple tumblers in his closet just in case his fellow midwestern states decide to be stupid and mess with his mug. Iowa knows his mug is hated and wouldn't have it any other way. Cause to him, the Hawkeyes have always been the better team.

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Kentucky morning
Who else is writing a cryptid!States fic or is it just me? I wanna chat with peeps to see how people are doing it.
I'm writing one, except that in my version Greg is a monsterfucker so I'm not sure if it's something people would want to talk about /hj