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when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.

[Image ID: a tumblr tag reading "problems that can be avoided if you simply treat your child as a human being with the right to make decisions on what they wear". End ID]

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

sometimes i feel like im climing up this incline again alone but thankully sisypus and the itsy bitsy spider and here with me

holy shit is that kate bush

why don't you agitate the contents of a barrel full of cream for a while then reach your hand inside and maybe you'll feel butter

reblog if you remember having to ration your text messages and accidentally opening the internet on your phone was the end of the world

don't like auto-flush toilets. like excuse me I'll tell you when to swallow

terrible post

ms. lucas i'm sorry i assumed that "calling sen. tim kaine a cuck" was hyperbole i wasn't familiar with your game

Bothers me when the distinction between Witch and Wizard is drawn according to gender. The Witch/Wizard distinction is one of class. Wizards live in towers and have cursed artifacts. Witches live in shacks and have crooked teeth.

Both witches and wizards can be evil, of course. But when a witch is evil they turn you into a frog. When a wizard is evil they try to tear a hole in reality or raise an undead army. You don't see witches doing that shit because they're working class.

The witch is looked down upon because they are competition to the hierarchical work of wizardry; they present an alternative to state monopoly on magic.