Lexi

I don't even know how to feel about these

Unlike billionaires, pickpockets often recognize they have a lot in common with the potential victims of their crime.

This reminds me of Rhys Nicholson the comedian who got mugged and the mugger said "I promise this isn't a hate crime, my sister is a lesbian im pro gay rights"

I’VE NEVER SEEN THAT ASL ONE BEFORE DOES ANYONE HAVE A LINK TO THAT BY ITSELF?

give all bosses health meters

that post was right i wouldn’t have a sense of humor without spongebob. its still some of the goddamn funniest shit i’ve ever seen. spongebob almost dying because he’s too polite to ask for a glass of water at sandy’s house. mr. krabs and spongebob killing the health inspector. smittywerbenjagermenjensen. “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. every morning I break my legs. and every afternoon I break my arms.” the perfume department on the flying dutchman’s boat. that time spongebob cleared his mind to be a fine dining waiter and forgot his own name because that’s how customer service just BE. the ugly barnacle that was so ugly everyone DIED. the END. the one where squidward buys a pie but it’s actually a bomb. and the MUSICAL numbers like??? the fun song. the christmas song. tony award winning song “this grill is not a grill”. the entire band geeks episode like…this is all from the top of my head!!!!! just from the top of my head!!! there’s so much more!!! thank god for stephen and all the laughs i’ve had because of him.