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Lesbians are held to a higher standard of homosexuality than gay men are. What I mean by this is that people are constantly looking for reasons to prove a lesbian is faking being a lesbian, and that this person must secretly desire men. Women’s sexuality is so socially tied to men that people simply cannot fathom that a woman can lead a fulfilling, complete romantic and sexual life apart from them.

A man’s word on his sexual orientation is final. A gay man can compliment a woman’s appearance, even get drunk at a party and kiss a woman, without being questioned on his homosexuality. A lesbian cannot acknowledge a man as handsome without being decried as a faker. “I always knew you weren’t really a lesbian!”

Society will use any and all evidence it can to disprove a lesbian’s identity. You kissed a guy that one time. You said that guy had a nice smile. You must secretly desire men. A lesbian’s word on their sexuality is not final. It’s a suggestion people think is malleable to their own opinions. It’s not enough to say you’re a lesbian. You must prove it every moment of your life.

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