leoreturns:
I have been waiting all year to post this.
omg
This has been in my queue for months.
I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
omg i didnt reblog this last year!
trying on a metaphor
AnasAbdin
hello vonnie

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin

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@gypsy-dove
leoreturns:
I have been waiting all year to post this.
omg
This has been in my queue for months.
I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
omg i didnt reblog this last year!

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The other day I answered the door to my postman. I was signing for stuff, like you do, when my kid came downstairs with only his underwear and a t-shirt on.
Now, the postman couldnât see him from the front door, and I scribbled my signature and said, to my son, âYou need to put some trousers on.â
My postman, very slowly, looked down at his trouser-clad legs with a mixture of confusion and horror, and then looked back up at me.
When I explained I was talking to my little boy out of his line of sight, he gave a very solemn nod and said: âI thought Iâd put trousers on this morning, but suddenly when you said that, I really wasnât sure.âÂ
Years after this, I still have the same postman. He still always wears trousers, but every time I answer the door, Iâm pretty sure we both remember this incident.
Caught between a rock and a hard place..
Please, never smoke. Never even start smoking, if you are lucky enough to possess a pair of untouched, perfectly pink lungs.
It plagues you. When youâre a smoker, being outside isnât enjoying nature; itâs an opportunity to smoke. Driving isnât an escape; itâs getting in your car and always traveling to the same destination: reaching for your pack. Itâs a social crutch and a motivational handicap.
And once you quit, it doesnât go away. Iâve been almost completely smoke free for five years now, one year longer than I was a smoker, and I still crave a cigarette. Every day, I still crave a cigarette.
You only look cool smoking in your early 20s. After that, everyone judges you for not quitting once you graduated college. Iâm serious, donât romanticize this harmful habit; itâs unhealthy, and dangerous, and easy to avoid.

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Baby girl
in elementary school i hit this kid cause he said i cant punch and i broke his nose and then my stepdad picked me up and the office was like âyou have to say sorryâ but then the kid was like âbut she proved me wrong, she doesnât have to say sorryâ ladies and gentlemen my best friend of many many years
this is violently beautiful
people say âI love youâ in a lot of different ways
âeat somethingâ
âbuckle upâ
'get some sleepâ
'here have my friesâ
'Im gonna draw you somethingâ
'yeah iâll buy it for youâ
'you like this dick donât youâ

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what a beautiful day to not be in high school
I googled âknockoff mcdonaldsâ and was not disappointed
Michael Alone
have you ever been both scared and excited to open a message

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if someone has a fucking phobia of something donât be an asshole and play with their fear for your own amusement
UNLESS ITâS HOMOPHOBIA. THEN YOU ACT AS NON-STRAIGHT AS YOU CAN AND WATCH THE BLOOD POUR OUT OF THEIR EYES