chariot on a record wheel

It’s that time of year again. And now the epilogue has begun! Happy 4/13!!

Reb lo g..!

*looks at extended zodiac list* *cries*

288 character themes and animated cutscenes later cohen looks down at us and laughs and sends us that fucking “this is my design gif” for the thousandth got dam time

I’ve given this a lot of thought since cohen answered it. The problem we run into is stuff like, are alliances and factions allowed? Whats the battlefield like? What are the win conditions? Last Person standing? 4 Stock? Crowd favorite? Cohen has a masters which easily makes him the smartest, and therefore the least trustworthy. He also has a good eye for analyzing people. He’s tall and has good reach. He listens to weird music which has made his movements unpredictable and wild. His downfall is that he overthinks things. Adrienne runs three times a week and does a lot of weight training so her physical stats are the most well rounded. I think she’d be the most likely to go on a “hike” which is absolutely terrifying. She’s shorter and has a lower center of gravity which is good for defense. Her downfall is that she is incredibly kind and trusting so susceptible to skullduggery. Rah’s cosplays and mastery of backgrounds makes them a master of trickery, stealth and disguise. Rah tends to blend in, and is sometimes overlooked but don’t be fooled. Thats all part of the plan. Rah knows a lot about birds so its possible they’ve mastered the power of flight. Weakness: one on one fights. To many, Toby is an enigma, but I have known him a long time. He is small, wily and quick and will strike when least expected. I have personally seen him do parkour. He is dexterous, but his attacks don’t do much damage. Timing will be key. Weakness: Extremely shy. Angela is a machine. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her take a break which means her stamina is off the charts. Capable of dealing some incredible burns with zero regard for her own safety. (she once renamed an important work document just to dunk on me) She also knows everything that goes on creatively at WP, which has possible psionic implications. Incredibly powerful. No known weaknesses.  Gina is a solver of practical problems. She is a go-getter. You give her something to do and she just does it. Thats incredible. You can’t trust someone like that in a fight. You never know what they’re going to do. Complete wildcard. Approach with caution. What Shelby lacks in raw power, she makes up for in experience. She has been on the scene as long as any of us can remember. Hardened by the unending discourse, and years of me calling her “Shill-by Crapp,” her CON stat is crazy high. She will just outlast you, somehow. Bottom line. Weakness: happily married and therefore vulnerable to emotional blackmail. Phil is another all-rounder. He can do almost any job you give him, and will do it well. An excellent edition to any team or alliance. He only has one weakness and thats that i can see all his thirsty favs on twitter. YIKES buddy. Andrew needs no introduction, but he does need a beatdown. I’d say his weakness is his extremely punchable physique. His strengths are that he is my boss and I don’t know if I can beat up my boss. I mean, I know I can but should I? Truly a formidable foe. I think I’ve seen him throw away a full cup of coffee. You don’t want to fight someone who cares so little about what others think of him. I don’t know the battle prowess of the other members of the team, but these are the ones I’d look out for.

This is the best description of the WhatPumpkin team I’ve ever read.

looks over longingly at  @poinko @shelbycragg @ginilla  @toastyhat

for the fans Uu~