GuyOfYear

i wanna be that cat

my dumb? founded. my flabbers? gasted. my gob??? smacked

my ass???? tonished

i may not be the prettiest or the smartest or the funniest but i sure am the sleepiest

I’m sorry but if that doesn’t absolutely BLOW YOUR FUCKING SOCKS OFF, you are NOT invited to my birthday party.

i sometimes forget that this is everyone’s first time on earth too. like. this is my first time seeing a butterfly this color. but its that little girl’s first time seeing any butterfly, ever. and i accidentally left a bag of groceries at the store after paying and now i’m cursing under my breath and it’s like. there a thousand other people out there who did that today too. and a thousand more from yesterday. and. like. we’re not actually alone. and we’re not actually failing. at least not in a way that a few billion haven’t before you

To expand upon this: a lot of birds’ bones aren’t hollow in order to make them lighter, but instead so that they can take in more oxygen. This is because when you’re flying through the air at speeds of Fast™, it’s very hard to convince the air around you to flow into your nostrils at speeds that let you get enough to breathe. So, birds evolved hollowed out bones to circumvent this, as it allows them to store air.

Everyone say Fuck You Brenda!

Happy international throw brenda into a volcano day

the oranges holy shit