Violet

'What brings you here?'

He stood in the entrance, his thick dark eyebrows frowned upon the almond-shaped eyes.

‘I said to meet me at 10, didn’t I?’

'Sorry, I know. I'm way ahead of our… meeting.'

He let you in with a low grunt − a strong eau sauvage cologne scent filling his hotel room made you already more sensitive…

————

You struggled to sleep the whole night. The pent-up anxiety combined with the anticipation for Jaekyung's fateful match twisted your stomach into a million knots. Time trickled by painfully, waiting on his phone call to finally have you over.

You waited in your room, eager and in heat. Your little fingers fiddled with your pussy for minutes that led to hours. You figured pleasuring yourself to the thought of him would cut it off and finally offer you some relief, but the burning arousal between your legs dripping through and through put your efforts to shame.

Becoming jaekyung's personal slut within the first week you two met each other got your little inexperienced body so used to his. Nothing else but his strong scent, his bulky weight, his suffocating heat and his rough touches satisfied your cravings anymore. And it showed every time you tried getting yourself off on your own.

Your visual memory turned into luscious eroticas of the handsome man, fogging-up with vivid shots of him choking you out, groping your ass like a pervert and whispering the filthiest insults into your neck. And so came the moment where your own legs took you to his room, nerve-burning lust already clouding over your brain −

————

'Oh,'

He opened the door and stepped closer to the door frame, height difference soaking your cunt instantly.

'Well…I don't feel like it now.'

He smirked and looked you up and down, the upwards curl on his rosy lips paired with his thick adam’s apple tempted you to suck on, peck and nibble.

You hated to feel so small and needy, but you were soaking through your thong. His thick cock is all you had in mind all day, and the ache between your legs persisted, if anything it got worse now that you saw him in his black sleeve, his stomach muscles still contracting from his pre-match training.

'And you didn't bother putting something less slutty than that? How lewd of you…' He pinched your left nipple over your thin shirt, 'You walked down the hallway with your nips perked out. And showed up to my door two hours prior…

Have you lost it?'

'But sir…Please, w-what does it matter if we did it a bit…sooner?'

'So we asking for it now, huh?' He raised a brow, 'I'm so used to your bitchy whines whenever I lay a finger on you,

He stepped forward, closing the distance between your bodies as his beautiful black eyes stared you down

's not like you at all to be so eager, doc.'

'P-Please fuck me! I’ll take all of you, promise!' Your voice softens, legs almost giving in from lust.

'How shameless. begging me to run a train on you in a hotel room' He crosses his arms over his chest, giving you a better view of the inked dragon on his forearm.

'Go play with yourself for me, yeah? Take your time till I hit you up.' He coos, leaning down to reach your head level.

'But it's…n-not working!' You protested, eyes filling up with tears. There was clearly no waiting further, your poor pussy begged you to touch Jaekyung and your brain rotted away, picturing him thrusting in every hole you had on repeat.

You took a couple steps forward and propped yourself on his bed, sliding your hand beneath your underwear. Back arching and head digging into the matress, you pulled your thong to the side, giving him a perfect shot of your bare ass and slickened folds. His brows furrowed, curious at a slutty doc slowly losing all her shame.

You brought your middle and ring finger to your lips and coated them in your spit, shamelessly staring dead into his eyes as he watched with crossed arms. You thrusted your fingers into your hole with a loud ‘Oh gosh-‘, no thoughts left in your mind to care.

His pheromones took over your brain the moment he opened his room door. Or so you chose to blame them for slowly corrupting you. You hated to see yourself begging him, but pride be damned! Your pussy acted on her own free will, and you weren’t about to hold her back no matter the reason.

'You need cock this fucking bad huh, Y/n?’ He sneers, eyes glued to the lewd sight you just offered him,

‘You’re dying to take it, hmm?'

‘Mr Joo, please c-come closer to me,

‘C-Can’t take it anymore, mr Joo…please’ Your fingers sped up the thrusts, slimy precum dribbling down your thighs ‘Fuck me till I squirt! It’s so much better when it’s your cock fucking me!’

'Remember how much you begged me tonight, doc…'

He yanked a fistful of your hair backwards, lining your face lower with his throbbing bulge.

'Get my big cock hard for me and I’ll see if I can be nice to you, would ya?'

You shoved your face into his crotch, breathing in his slightly tangy scent as much as your lungs could take, muffling your nose into his freshly shaven pubes. You whine deliberately, sending vibrations through his shaft and squichy balls. The slit on his cockhead drips more cum, spreading the slight saltiness over your tastebuds.

‘Hey, look at me’

He stuffed his thumb into your mouth, slapping his flushed tip on your lips as you you planted a wet kiss right on his cockhead.

The feverish desire to touch him drove you insane, swirling your tongue over his tip and twisting your little fists all over his veiny length. you splayed your palms on his abdomen, fingernails tracing his strong V-line and groping his large pelvis for leverage.

‘mmh need it so much…’ Your tongue flattened, gliding along his thickest vein, that one that makes you moan in pleasure every time Jaekyung stretches your tight uterus.

He groans and falls back onto the couch, spreading his legs wider as you deep-throated most of his fat cock. You smirked and wrapped your lips shut, feeling proud of yourself as his thick base finally made contact with your lips.

‘Mmmh…look at you, Team Black’s sweetheart. Acting all nice and coy while milking my cock dry’ He falters and throws his head back, grunting louder.

His thick, toned hips clenched upwards as you hollowed your cheeks, letting go with a wet pop. You pumped him up and down, lips pleasuring his warm, fat ballsack. You suckled his left nut and softly fondled the right one in your palm, smearing it with his overflowing precum.

His fingertips dug into your scalp, messing your locks up and bobbing your head on his length. A deep crease formed between his raven thick brows, his plump lips forming a cute o shape.

‘You’re leaking so much precum, mr Joo..’ You coo ‘You shame me for wanting you…while your balls feel so full and heavy in my mouth’ You smirk and gently massage your fingers into his warm balls, kissing them even slower.

‘look…I made you hard… just as you told me’

You bat your lashes and stare into his eyes, leaning your head on his thigh and stroking his cock next to your cheek. You pump him faster, your free hand caressing his stomach and hips.

‘Ngh…you’re loud tonight, doc’ He shoved your head deeper in, gagging you till the fat tears came out. ‘But guess I gotta keep my promises huh?’ The two large hands held your head still, squeezing your already soaked chin. Your tears blur the sight of his reddned cheeks, hiccuping from how much your throat squeezed on his cock.

He props his hands under your arms and lifts you up. Noticing the spot of your wetness on the carpet. Your pussy throbbed from Jaekyungs raw groans. A clear puddle of wetness formed under you cunt, getting bigger and stickier the whole time you sucked him off on your knees.

'Did you cum yet, miss Doc?' he smirks and whispers into your neck.

The faux empathy in his voice struck a nerve. You shook your head no in frustration and turned around to face him. ‘You p-promised to make me feel good too!’

You straddled his thigh, small hands groping his hard pecs.

‘I don’t wanna wait anymoore..’

'I wonder what would you do without me, miss y/n.' He flicked his tongue, grabbing your waist firmly and setting you spread on bed surface.

‘Where do you want me, doc? which hole of yours wants me more?’ He stood over you and gave himself a few pumps, hand wrapped on your hip.

‘Whatever hole you want, I just want you!’

‘Both are damn tiny to me’ the cocky smirk on his face never falters, throwing you over his bed and pulling you closer by your ankles.

He flips you over and pushes your face deep into his sheets, pulling your thin T-shirt over your head. The soft flesh of your breasts tingles, nipples all raw and sensitive from the friction. His full weight pours onto your back, both your skins sticking on each other.

‘Want them both fucked loose tonight? I’m feeling generous’

You spread your legs wide, taking him past your puffy lips. His fists pinned your wrists to the bed, pushing a low curse under his breath.

He folded your legs over your head, pressing firmly till he shaped you in a perfect mating press. You gasped and clawed at the sheets, feeling the harsh push of his thick cockhead. You felt that puffy vein again, frotting in and out of you as your clenching got worse.

‘Fuck…mr Joo..feels so good- so fucking good!’

His steady pressure got heavier, ridged sides of his girth restlessly bumping into your cervix, ripping some of the loudest moans from your mouth. You locked him between your arms, pressing down on his back to keep him closest to you.

Taking him deep inside you did feel good, but the warmth his body covered you in got you to a different high, one that had you almost confessing to him mid sex.

‘I l-like it, mr Joo…I like you a lot-

'You're a fucking mess today, aren't you?' He grasped your throat tighter, slapping both your cheeks. You jerked away from the stinging pain, mouth opening to shamelessly ask him for another one.

‘I-I want more, want you…mr Joo..so bad’

'Hey, You're fucking wasted, are you?' He spits on your pursed lips and smears it, large palm hitting across your tender cheek again.

His stirred breaths ran heavier. The steamy air between you and him barely found a way, your skins sticking flush on each other, only separating to come back together with loud ‘plap‘ noises.

‘Mghh mr Joo…I-I’m close’ Your nails traced along his chiseled back, ripping your first orgasm for the night. The spasms coursed through your body as you creamed a frothy ring at the base of his dick. The blurry sight of his raven eyes turned you hungrier, babbling pleas in the crook of his neck,

‘Don’t stop, Joo…I want m-more, much more…please-‘

‘Dropping formalities now? Don’t recall you being so friendly, gross girl’

Your pussy flutters at his insults, He swept you off the bed with ease, hooking his thick biceps around your legs. suspending you mid-air with his fingers buried in your asscheeks. He lifted you up to his chest level, holding your legs wide open to the full-size mirror covering the wall.

‘If you want more you better watch every damn second of it, miss Doc’ His pearly teeth showed a cheeky smirk, ‘We look so good in this position, don’t we?’ He chuckles and bucks his hips up, thrusting again with a deep groan.

'Too much…I don't think I can..keep up− mmh fuck!..' He picked his pace up, his bulky thighs slapping yours senseless. The Room filled up with the lewdest noises as you grew worried about strangers on the other side of the wall.

You slipped a trembling hand into his hair, his smooth undercut and soft supple neck felt so pleasant to touch. He’s achingly handsome, crimson lips almost inches from yours. You seized your chance quick and slammed his mouth on yours, suckling his tongue like the lovesick mess you are…

A lovesick mess you’ve for a while now. You did hate him…almost to death. His demeanor, his bold advances, his rude mannerisms and even his mere presence were unbearable to you at first. And yet you opened your eyes to the intimate sight of him inside you. A sight that got you obsessing over for weeks before this night.

Suddenly being his slutty stress reliever felt so good to you. And the more he took it out on you the weaker your self control ran.

‘brace yourself, I’m making you face me now’ He flipped you around over his torso with almost no effort, your little hands holding still onto his shoulder blades. Your breasts pressed tight against his hard pecs, giving you a mini heart attack. You lost yourself on his cock again, amourously blabbering some lovedrunk nonsense.

‘F-Fuck…c-can we do it more p-pleasee, my pussy feels so good, I l-like it when mr Joo does it-‘

You stared at Jaekyung, eye to eye level. His thick baby-like lashes and the glossy sweat glittering on his skin had you all soft and fuzzy. You got so shy your stomach turned, realizing the tiny distance separating you two..

‘Mmh…still fucking tight’ He pants and bumps your foreheads together, teeth clenching the moment he slides into your tiny asshole.

You dug your heels into his firm butt, pushing deeper from the thick intrusion. And so he responded, smacking your ass a couple more times just to hear a few more cries.

You’re just about high on Jaekyung, he’s everywhere near and close to you, overwhelming your senses and taking over your trembling frame. His delicious musk got stronger, not only from his just ended workout session, but from pounding into you with a beast-like pace.

‘Fuck fuck it hurts…s-slow down, mr Joo’

‘Shhh…you’ve been a pain in the ass lately, making demands and being a brat as you please’

He chomps your neck, finding a better angle to viciously prod your G-spot from behind. Your bladder almost crushed with his heavy shaft weighing on it for long hours.

‘Joo…I feel like..peeing, m-my tummy-‘ You dragged your nails down his back again, bouncing your ass up and down his dick.

'Make a mess then, piss, cum, squirt-' He licks your cheek and grunts, hips still slamming yours ‘I’m curious how more gross you could get tonight, nasty slut’

A furious heat rised to your face. His rough words fueled the wetness between your bruised thighs and squeezed your tiny butthole tighter.

'Aww…such a weak spot ya got for me, doc.' He huffed, his sharp jaw clenched tight. Your pussy clamped around the emptiness in shame, legs numbly dangling over his burly arms, and heart palpitating as you finally sprayed your juices all over his abdomen.

You gush more, covering is lower half in your essence, seconds before Jaekyung busts between you two. He keeps it up, milking you both to the last bit of your pleasures.

His warmth pours loads into you, shaping your pussy walls to fit his dick once more.

‘I liked it so so much…mr Joo felt s-so good’

You panted, the wild orgasm lagging on your little head. The following minutes you spent cradled in his arms, legs folded around his sides and head resting heavy on his chest.

He held you closer for a moment and and you didn’t miss another chance. you nervously planted your lips on his own, feeling them instantly push back on yours…

his short embrace stopped time, blocked all your senses and swelled your little heart with euphoria. You felt so complete, almost as if you had a…lover..

————

You woke up to a bold fraguance filling the room. The joint white covered beds surrounded you, soft and empty. And so felt your heart, fragile and addicted to the champion fighter.

𝟐𝐤 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 −> 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟒

𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 :)

It eats you alive daily, soaking into your very core as you look at Emma from the corner of your eyes, jotting down anything the lecturer says eagerly. Her blond hair is in a neat ponytail, exposing the beautiful slope of her neck from behind you, her back curved from leaning down to take notes.

How do you tell your friend that her brother had attempted to force himself on you?

‘I should have never let things get this far with Mikey.’ you lament internally. ‘Why didn’t I just reject the offer in the first place? The worst that could have happened was Emma being mad at me. Then that night would never have happened. What am I supposed to do? What if she finds out from someone else?’

Even if you tell her anything, she might never believe you; women are never believed for these kinds of things, if life taught you anything, but they sure were blamed all the time. And if she does, who knows what Manjiro Sano would do to you as revenge.

It’s not like you have anyone else to turn to, your parents consider you dead to them and everyone in this school hates you for existing.

For the first time in your life, you don’t know a way out of this situation.

“... and that is the end of today’s lesson. You can all leave now.”

You’re snapped out of your self-inflicted guilt trip at the sound of professor Hanabi concluding his lesson. Panic overtook you as you looked down into your notes only to see that it was half written when you were paying attention from the beginning to mid-way in the lesson, and the rest of your paper was empty.

Just your luck.

“You spaced out, again? Are you still thinking about your parents?”

Your hand flies to slam your book shut at the sound of Emma’s voice from beside you, Hinata following not too behind, embarrassed at the two of them seeing your half-baked notes. She only chuckled in response at your hasty action, shaking her head in disapproval before putting her hand on your shoulder. “There’s no need to do that, come on. I’ll lend you my note after class.” 

You slid your hands over your face at being caught red-handed; As usual, Emma is being so kind to you even as you continue to lie and keep secrets from her. She’s tried everything to get you to open up as to why you keep spacing out, but you deflect and change the subject.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” you sighed out, deflating visibly with your hands still covering your face. “Some days are good, and some days are just…”

Another comforting hand rests on your shoulder, this time belonging to Hina. “You’ve got to stop getting all up in your head, (Name).” Her voice is gentle, trying to ease you off whatever tension looming over your head. “Come on, let’s get you boba in the school’s cafeteria.”

You nodded weakly and packed your books into your worn out school bag, before hurriedly following them behind along with the last of your classmates.

The walk to the cafeteria is a short distance, as your departmental building was very close to it and soon, the three of you had gotten your boba drinks, now in search of a place to sit. “Senju and Yuzuha are around here,” Emma said, scanning around to try and find them in a throng of people. A lump in your throat forms on hearing Yuzuha’s name; you haven’t spoken to her in a long time, since that incident. You wonder if she still hates you for what your family did to her.

“Oh there they are.”

The pink haired girl, Senju, eagerly waved at you three from her table, with Yuzuha glued to her phone, not looking up from it and Emma waved back, before grabbing your arm and gently pulling you with her towards the table, Hinata following not too far behind.

Senju Akashi was the president of the sorority group Brahman and also, Emma’s childhood friend. From Emma’s point of view, Senju was closer to Mikey than her, always opting to play with the boys, Keisuke and Sanzu, rather than her. The pinkette never left the tomboyish phase in her teenage years and hasn’t left it since then, only now she’s more willing to let Emma fix acrylic nails for her and she puts on makeup, probably to cement her status.

Yuzuha was someone you knew as a child. She was just a few years older than you in school, not to mention very popular with the student body as she was a mixture of beauty, brains and brawn and the only person that used to care about you.

Until your family ruined it all.

As you sat down on the chair, facing Yuzuha and Senju, with Emma and Hinata by your side, you realized how small and insignificant you were compared to them. Emma was the wealthy IT girl and her brothers practically have a tight leash on the school, Hinata ran the school’s newspaper and was on the dean's list regularly, Senju was the leader of the most popular sorority and Yuzuha was the financial advisor and also always on the dean's list, as well as the leader of the university’s cheer team.

And you? The only notable thing about you was Izana and Mikey’s obsession with ruining your life.

Feeling even worse, you shrank in your seat, swirling your straw as they have a full on conversation about another upcoming party, their chatter excitedly echoing through the table. You try to tune them out, occasionally looking at Emma as she talks animatedly about whatever the topic was.

Your heart twinged with jealousy at how her eyes lit up as she spoke, breaking into fits of giggles every now and then. When was the last time you made her laugh? Or happy? All you do these days is mope and get her worried-

“Were you invited, (name)?”

'Huh?'

You’re roused out of your thoughts by Senju’s cheery tone, all eyes on you now. Suddenly conscious at your slouched sitting position, you quickly sit up, the question tumbling out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

“Um, invited to what?”

The entire table raised a quizzical brow at your question and you felt stupid for even asking in the first place instead of just pretending to know what they were talking about. Emma shoots you an annoyed ‘seriously?’ look, in lieu of your absent mindedness and you bit the inner parts of your cheek, looking at your lap.

You have a feeling Emma is getting exhausted of playing babysitter. You can’t blame her.

Deciding to take pity on you, Senju reiterated what she was talking about, leaning closer to you as she whispered. “Tenjiku’s Bacchanalia. It’s where all the popular kids, the crémé la crémé, come to party every year to network. It’s really exclusive and the four of us went last time.” she giggled, as if it was an inside joke you were supposed to be in on. “Izana usually handles the invitations personally, so you had to have been invited, right?”

The question itself was like a slap to your face and an ego boost to your insecurities. If you didn’t feel embarrassed and out of place before, you sure did now.

An important party where the rich kids hang out and the person who hosts it hates your guts.

“I wasn’t…invited. I didn’t even know about it”

Your reply makes Senju’s face crumple slightly, her green eyes darting from you to Emma, who also looked uncomfortable. “Oh” she uttered.

Just as Emma opened her mouth to speak, her phone started buzzing, interrupting her. She picked up the device and cursed underneath her breath as soon as she saw who was on the line, hurriedly standing up. “I’ve got to take this, I’ll be right back.” She mumbled, reaching for your hand squeezing it. Your gaze lingered on her as she walked away, before looking back at the group again.

You catch a glimpse of Yuzuha’s eyes sharpening before looking back at your boba the moment Emma was out of range, causing a chill to run down your spine, as if the atmosphere just shifted.

‘It’s probably all in my head.’

The table is silent, briefly and you’re almost relieved that nobody's prying further information from you until Senju switches her attention to you, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she prods you further. 

“So you really weren’t invited? For real?” She hummed, her perfectly glossed lips shimmering underneath the fluorescent light above her, pink lashes fluttering. You shook your head in response, afraid you would stutter at how pretty she was. She placed a hand on her chin curiously as she added. “I thought since you were Em’s friend, you would be invited.”

“Well, I wasn’t…”

“The Bacchanalia is only for people who have something important to offer, either in talents like Mitsuya with his designs, Tetta with his businesses or Hajime with his connections. (Name) is a talentless pleb with nothing to offer.”

You nearly had a whiplash with how fast you turned your head to look at Yuzuha who didn’t look bothered at your reaction to her statement. You swallowed hard.

“Maybe I wasn’t invited because Izana hates me.” You replied in an attempt to stay coolheaded.

Your heart palpitates as Yuzuha shares a knowing look with the rest of the girls for a minute before bursting out in laughter, their yelps echoing throughout the entire canteen for the next three minutes, making you grow hot from embarrassment, as if you had said something stupid.

As the laughter died down, Yuzuha rolled her eyes at you and let out a disgusted scoff as she folded her arms across her chest, peach lip gloss coated lips quirked up into a sinister sneer. “You know what, maybe you are good at something, acting…” Her voice is full of venom, like she has been holding back whatever sentiment she was saying right now for a long time. “ ...like a victim.”

You quickly realized that this was serious and your heart dropped in your stomach.

You felt blood rushing to your head as her words settled in your mind. You could feel all their eyes on you, as if they were gauging your reaction.

You looked at Hinata, hoping to God she would shut it down but instead she only sits back even further, legs crossed over each other. “Don’t look at me (name)” She chimed in. “You know all you ever do is cry and hide behind Emma, making us look bad.”

Your heart sank at the bottom of your chest. Even Hina hates you too.

“I’ve known her for a while so I’m not shocked by her manipulative tendencies” Yuzuha snarked back, leaning in further until she was close enough for only you three to hear. “Ever since Emma became friends with her and brought her into our dynamic, she has been the cause of every fight. I don’t even know why Mikey apologized to you when you were the one who blew things out of proportion first!”

Your mouth grows dry at the comment. They were blaming you for the fight that happened at the night of the party, despite it not being your fault at all.

Yuzuha doesn’t stop there, turning her gaze back to you, the fire burning in her eyes so bright, it hurts. “Maybe Emma has you fooled, putting on rose tinted glasses for you; because you could never do shit for yourself- but none of us…” Yuzuha gestures with her hand at Senju and Hina, to drive her point, “like you.”

You look at the other two girls and nearly reel in shock at how their demeanor shifted from one of worry, to one of nonchalance and placidity. Senju picks at her nails, looking at you with a devious smirk. “What the hell do you expect? You embarrassed the entirety of Toman and Tenjiku when you made Mikey and Izana fight with Emma. Am I meant to be on your side?”

Hinata, picks up her pumpkin spice latte, mumbling at Yuzuha. “You better hurry up Yuzu, Emma’s coming back soon.” before sipping the drink and leaning back on her chair, rolling her eyes at your shocked expression. “I don’t want to deal with her being mad at me for making her precious (name) cry.”

A lump forms in your throat at the two comments made. How bad of a person were you that the nicest girl in the entire school hates you?

“See?” Yuzuha continued, whispering furiously as she inched closer and closer to your face. “We’re all sick of you driving a wedge between Emma and the rest of us. If you had just stayed in your own lane, then we wouldn’t be doing fucking damage control on our interpersonal relationships each week.”

You sit there, speechless as Yuzuha tears into you, blaming you. For things you know, for things you didn’t even know. “I fucking warned Emma that you were nothing but trouble, but she insists on picking strays off the streets.”

Your eyes widened in shock, mouth agape as you stuttered, trying to defend yourself. “I … don’t call me…”

She laughed at your pained expression, her lips curled up into a mocking smile. “Aw, are you going to cry?” Her smile drops as she lowers her voice, just so that only you could hear her next words. “It’s obvious what you’re doing, isn't it? Sinking your dirty little poverty ridden claws into the highest bidder. That’s why you’re around Emma right? To get to Mikey?”

You could feel the entire canteen drilling holes into your head, all eyes fixated on you. You can hear the little murmurs and snickers following it. Your face burns with embarrassment, wishing that the ground would swallow you whole.

Yuzuha leans further, smirking at how your body shook with a mixture of fear and anger until she lowered herself closer to your ear, lips merely brushing the shell. “I’m going to make sure Mikey will never like you. He’ll know what you truly are and then he’ll never ever want you again.”

Your blood turns to ice at her words, heart dropping down to your stomach. ‘That was years ago… she’s going to tell them… everyone will really hate me-’

You try to get up from the chair and hurl your guts out in the bathroom but a manicured hand forces you to stay put, her orange eyes glaring at you. “Don’t even think about it.” Hina hisses lowly. “You want to make us look like were're bullying you? Sit down.”

You don’t say anything, opting to comply instead in order to placate them. What good would storming off do anyways- other than get Emma very angry at them, proving their point?

Instead, you pick up your boba with shaking hands and sip it fast, washing down the bile gathering up in your throat as familiar footsteps approach your table, the switch flipping in the atmosphere, as if nothing had happened in the first place.

The chair scrapes the floor and Emma sits down again, tossing her phone on the table. “Guess who didn’t write a letter informing the school about the annual party this year?” her voice dripping with sarcasm, rubbing her temple with one hand to soothe her headache “And guess who has to do it for him?”

Senju chuckled at her plight, hand resting on her chin playfully, a stark contrast to her mocking stare just a few moments ago. “I told you that he’d forget about it. Izana is too busy fucking my girls to remember that he’s the one hosting the party.”

Emma grimaced at Senju’s comment, before checking the time and sighing. “Might as well write the damn letter after the next lecture. Come on (name), Hina let’s go.” She said, packing her stuff. You follow suit, trying to ignore Yuzuha’s gaze fixated on you as you arrange your bag and get up from the chair, eager to be free from the uncomfortable situation you found yourself in.

“Bye guys. We’ll meet up at the boutique after school? We still need cute bikini sets for the pool at the party.”

You swallow your jealousy as Emma smiles at her back, eyes gleaming with interest. “Of course! At 6pm sharp I’ll be at the Sorority house with Hina.” She waved at them. “Bye!”

You don’t say anything about feeling excluded from the conversation as the three of you walk away. Emma and Hinata’s excited chatter about the Bacchanalia became nothing but background noise to you as you three walked back to class, Yuzuha’s words ringing in your ears with each step you took.

“Hey, (name), are you alright?”

You don’t look at Emma as she questions you, just shrugging your shoulders while you keep walking down the path to class. She walked closer to you, gently putting her arm around your shoulder as she tried to make you feel better. “Hey, don’t be sad. That kind of party isn’t your scene anyways.” She comforted “We do a lot of stuff that you’re not ready for.”

“Mhm”

Your response dampens her mood a bit, but at this point you’re too far in your head to care. It sounds patronizing at this point how she’s talking to you, like a petulant child who doesn’t understand when they are not wanted.

You understand loud and clear. She doesn’t need to pretend or pity you.

“Come on! You know what, how about this? You can come shopping with us -”

“Excuse me.”

You push her arm off you gently and walk faster towards the departmental building, much to her shock. You don’t answer her constantly yelling your name as hot tears streamed down your face, storming into the building with gritted teeth, bile rising up in your throat once again as you rush to the bathroom on the ground floor.

You make it just in time as you hunch over into the toilet.

“WHAT do you even see in her, anyways?”

Mikey doesn’t pay Senju any mind. He usually doesn’t pay her any mind whenever she’s in one of her rather curious moods about his life. He doesn’t pay her any mind because he knows her like the back of his palm; ever since childhood, she’s always followed him, Keisuke or Haruchiyo around like a headless chicken with no direction.

Those were fond times of simpler days; back when he was a kid and all he had to worry about was what game he, Keisuke and Sanzu were going to play. Or fighting with Shinichiro because a pretty girl hugged him and he didn’t want to wash her off by showering. Since childhood, she always had that mischievous hint in her tone, irritating him to no end at how she would always butt into their business whenever the boys were playing.

She inserted herself in their spaces much to Haruchiyo’s dismay until she made it fit into her own expectations. It wasn’t like Mikey couldn’t kick her out, but he knew that probably doing that would cause a bigger rift between Haruchiyo and Takeomi and she would drift into other predatory, male groups that could get her into big trouble.

But right now, he’s not feeling so generous. It’s the third time she’s asked this question and if Mikey didn’t have any control over his dark impulses, he would have crashed the car to shut her up, permanently.

“Who are you talking about?”

“You know, that lapdog that has attached herself to Em like a parasite.”

Senju’s voice is like nails scratching on a board to his ears, as sweet as sugar, yet as salty as the sea. She knows you are a sore topic for him and yet, she chooses to frustrate him.

The car rolls to a halt, stopping beside the library. He’s never seen Senju in the library before, but she whined about having to walk all the way there when she called him and he decided to just help her out. He expects the conversation to be over now as she’s at her destination, for her to get out and complain about how he doesn’t tell her anything.

Instead, she shifts closer to him from across the passenger’s seat to the drivers, her colder body pressed against his warm body, a constant for her. A soft sigh escapes his lips as her hand worms its way to his hair, fingers gently massaging his scalp in a satisfying way. He finds himself visibly relaxing, the tension slowly leaving his body as she rubs circles into his head, her acrylics giving a nice feel to her gentle actions.

Oh. Mikey understands what she wants. She’s jealous of you.

“Come on, Mikey.” her voice is soothing now, no longer having the masculine edge she uses, as if she’s pouting. He likes it. He thinks this is why she’s so successful in her own gang, her ability to switch personas, you can never tell who is the real Senju. “Does she fuck better than me? Is that why you spend more time with her now?”

Mikey scoffs. If only that were true. You wouldn’t even let him touch you if it was the end of the world. He supposes it was partly his fault for being too rough, but was he that repulsive that you would rather die than sleep with him?

At first, he felt guilty for making you cry. It plagued him for nights on end. Then, he got tired of feeling guilty and it was swiftly replaced with annoyance instead. Why do you get to blame him for anything terrible that happened to you, it's not like he forced you to sleep with him? Or sit on his lap to feed him? It’s not like he made you buy those expensive clothes or he threatened you to enter your room.

You were a willing participant to everything that happened between the two of you. You just didn’t want to acknowledge it because it went against your religious ideals. Afterall, you liked him romantically, what girl wouldn’t want her crush to want to sleep with her?

Sometimes he wonders if you truly like him or its his money that makes you tolerate him.

“That’s much better now isn’t it?” She whispered in his ears and he only nodded in response, not wanting to sound like a fool if he opened his mouth to speak. Ever the weakling for being pampered by anyone, he leans into her touch and lets his guard down. “Or you’d prefer her to do this for you?”

He flushes red at her constant teasing, wanting nothing more to bury his head inside sand with how hot he was feeling right now, being caught red handed. “You keep mentioning her, almost as if you want to get on my nerves” He finally gets out after a few minutes of staving off thoughts about you being so touchy with him, voice strangled with need. “What do you want from me?”

She chuckled into his ears again, making his neck hairs stand at attention. “Just curious, a few months ago, you wanted nothing to do with her.” She hummed in his ears. “Now every waking chance, you’re practically thinking about her, to the point you spent so much money on her. Don’t you think it’s strange?”

“I didn’t sleep with her. You know I don’t touch virgins, so what are you getting at?”

Senju paused her movements, putting her chin on his head as if she’s deep in thought. “Well personally…” Senju started in a sing-song voice. “... I think she’s really pretty and that’s obvious, but she’s not that stunning to begin with. You’ve been with much prettier girls and she doesn’t necessarily have the looks to turn heads.”

“Not everyone can be you, Senju.”

“I know I’m the prettiest girl you’ll ever be with, Mikey.” She snickered, completely ignoring Mikey’s sarcastic comment as she continued her analysis. “But, come to think of it, she kinda reminds me of a certain someone.”

Mikey frowned at her words, not liking the inflection of her tone, as if she was about to imply he was doing something wrong. She took his silence as a hint to continue taunting him.

“Soft, caring, gentle, miserable.”

She lowers her lips to the side of his head, lips gently brushing the shell of his ear as she utters one word that tipped him over the edge.

“Maternal.”

The next moment was a blur, Mikey spinning Senju around until she was face up and he was on top of her in the passenger seat, large hands wrapped around her neck tight. His eyes were darkened completely, nothing behind them but pure, unbridled rage, practically pinning her down with all his weight.

His breathing is heavy, hot against her skin as he lowers his head to hers, their foreheads practically touching each other as he pierces through her soul with his hate filled glare. With each moment that passes, the pink haired girl loses air, her circulation slowly cutting off. 

A normal person would be rightfully afraid and fight the hell for their lives, biting and scratching him to let go. Senju used to fight him off like that too, when he would lose his temper because she refused to listen to him about fighting with people. It used to be an effective scare tactic to show her just how easily she could be overpowered.

But now, Senju knows him. Knows the darkness that consistently plagues him and drives him to the wall. Mikey is no enigma or mystery to her anymore as he is to his foolish admirers.

Instead, she smiles at him, her own eyes shining badly with mischief and something entirely different, naughty. “H-heh. Y-ou’re ju-st as sick as Iza-na” she croaked out snarkily, her minty breath invading his nostrils. “M-mother fuck-”

“Say that word and I’ll snap your fucking neck.”

She clamped her mouth shut at his promise, opting to smile sultry at him instead, despite her dwindling air supply. Maybe it was the masochist in her, but the constant choking had made her a little less scared and a little more interested in the twisted desire of Mikey lashing out on her, doing this repeatedly. Haruchiyo barely paid attention to her presence and always blamed himself for anything Senju did and Takeomi always blamed Haruchiyo, completely skipping her entirely, even when Haruchiyo had nothing to do with it and she did something bad just for anyone to tell her she was wrong.

Mikey though. He fulfills her fantasy of being scolded, hurt, not treated as some fragile princess, but a tool to take out his hurt and hatred on. And she loves it. Perhaps it’s why he’s always the victim of her constant and persistent attitude, watching him tick was always so fun. At least she knew the one place to win him since he was physically stronger than her.

Dark impulses. 

Emma’s lucky to have brother’s that care enough to interfere. Maybe that’s why the blonde girl isn’t as twisted as she is.

The air between the two shifts into something hotter, more charged than before. She coughs violently as Mikey removes his hands off her neck entirely and sits up, his hands flying to his belt. As usual, she watches him from her lashes with interest as he fumbles around with it, ever so impatient to understand or think about what he was about to do with her.

“You’re so desperate” she chuckles as he tosses his belt somewhere in the car. “Bet she can’t fuck you right, huh?”

He didn't say anything as he shrugged his pants off to his knees, breathing harsh as he lowered his face towards hers, capturing her lips in a bruising kiss. She returned it with equal feverency, her fingers digging into his hair.

She smiled into the kiss, closing her eyes to relish in the taste of the sweet pastry he had eaten prior. He pulled away from her lips and began to kiss her neck with fervor, each kiss articulated with quiet “(name)” spilling from his lips as he pushed into her.

The pair don’t notice you staring at them from across the quad, tears streaming down your face.

  “YOU’RE not performing as well as you ought to. What is going on (last name?)”

You could think of a myriad of answers to professor Hanabi’s question, but all of them would sound unbelievable to anyone with a good head on their shoulders.

You didn’t know where to even start as you stood in front of the older man. Maybe it was the crushing feeling of guilt that followed you around, or the invasive dreams when you do manage to sleep off, the Sano brothers taking advantage of you in different, shameful ways as Yuzuha’s voice repeats "karma" until you’re screaming awake, tears rolling down your eyes.

It’s apparent your condition was far worse than before. Concealers could hide your eye bags, but they couldn’t hide the slump in your shoulders or the flash of fear whenever you lock eyes with any of the Sano brothers, especially Mikey.

It was a no brainer as to why school was the last thing on your mind right now.

Your gaze casted down to the big F written on your script. You had thought at least your make up test would be good enough for a C with how stressed you were, but apparently, you were wrong about that one too.

It didn’t make any sense, you had Hinata, the smartest girl in class, teach you before the test. So how did this happen?

‘Oh.’ You remember the events of yesterday at the cafeteria. It makes sense to you now that Hinata would lie to make you fail.

Of all courses it had to be the most difficult of them all with an equally difficult lecturer, who happened to be the Dean of the English studies and Language department; professor Daniel Hanabi.

“I-i don’t understand professor-” you started, about to say the words ‘I did everything right’ but quickly stopped yourself. Professor Hanabi was a strict man who prided himself in being correct every time. Assuming that you did everything right would mean that he was wrong and would only get him angry with you, reducing your chances at any form of negotiation. Instead, you changed the tune of the conversation. “- I thought I was prepared-”

“You cannot keep assuming you are prepared for anything, Ms. (Last name).” He hissed, silencing you immediately. You bowed your head in embarrassment as the blonde haired man started tearing at you. “How do you assume you are well prepared for a course, my course specifically? It is either you are or you’re not and looking at this excuse of a test score, you’re NOT. And you know why you failed? It’s because you’re a moron! A bimbo with nothing in that head of yours-”

You stayed silent as the man continued barking at you, tuning out his hurtful words with every curse and insult thrown in your face. You bit back any form of tears so that he wouldn’t find another reason to shout at you.

“- everyday I spend my time trying to impart knowledge onto you people and in turn you all disappoint me. What do you have to say for yourself?”

You took a deep breath, holding back tears of humiliation as you clasped your hands together. You knew the best thing to do was to tolerate his insults so that he could give you another chance. “I apologize, Professor Hanabi.” You began with a humble voice. “It was my fault. You gave me a lot of time to study and I failed to deliver. But please sir, you have to let me try again! I can do better. Please!”

The room fell silent again after your plea, the only noticeable noise being the whirling of the AC in the dean's office. A lump began to form in your throat at the tense atmosphere, wondering what next he was going to say.

“Fine.” He said, making you sigh in relief, one good thing finally happening in your life for the first time in months now. “I’ll let you retake the test next January.”

“Thank you sir!” You said appreciatively. “I’ll do my very best-”

He waved at you dismissively, not in the mood for any sort of thearatics, now facing the rest of his papers. “Just leave my office before I change my mind.”

   MIKEY should know better than to bother you.

There’s a sensible part of him that knows he should keep his distance from you. With how you cower away from his presence whenever he comes to see Emma after her classes, or how your body goes rigid when he turns to your direction, attempting to greet you, it’s evident that you don’t want to be in the same space or vicinity as he was. Even Emma complained to both him and Izana that she feels like you’re slipping away from her, that you look for every excuse to not hang out with her anymore and she feels so sad. 

It’s not like he didn’t deserve it, even before the events of that night, all his actions prior - from bullying you, to isolating you from any potential friends, the insults, the berating, the way he tormented you for months, turning everyone he sunk his claws into to your enemy, making you the most hated girl in the school- it was only a matter of time until you couldn’t bear to look at him without throwing up in your mouth a little.

He should be happy. After all, it was all he wanted, wasn’t it? For you to be out of their lives? He has finally chased you away.

So why does it annoy him so much that you're avoiding him now?

He stares at you from across the table, taking in your features; you look terrible as compared to the vibrancy of the friend group; your eyes have prominent dark circles, as if you haven’t slept in days, your lips are chapped, dehydrated and your hands twitch nervously underneath his scrutinising gaze, fiddling the spoon in your hands. You’re not looking anyone in the eye, and despite you being usually silent, today it’s different, you look defeated.

Like you don’t want to be here.

“Come on (name), Mikey’s being generous today! He never pays for lunch.” Emma chirps in, nudging you playfully, but you don’t budge. One may think she’s oblivious to your suffering right now, but everyone notices the nervous edge to her voice and the worried look in her eyes.

It’s like there’s this wall that’s impenetrable between you and her.

“I’ll eat”

You fall silent once again, and the meal goes on uneventfully, a little small talk here and there between some of their other friends. Mikey has been quiet too, trying his best not to be obvious in sneaking glances at you, often flickering his gaze to everyone else in their friend group to throw off suspicion. You don’t pay much attention to him or anyone, unlike how in the early days you used to stare at him with so much adoration. There used to be so much life in your eyes, in your body language, in the way you eat, in everything.

He’s succeeded in killing you finally, leaving only your corpse to roam the earth, but he didn’t mean to. If he could bring back that part of you that would worship him, he would. He hates not being the center of your life, not being the reason you’re happy. Sure, it seems like he is being selfish, but he has his own needs as well that you didn’t honor, even when he tried to be nice to you.

You hurt him too, dressing up only to reject his touch. It was humiliating having to deal with the fact that a girl doesn’t want him sexually. He was even willing to break his rule of not sleeping with a virgin for you. He bought you things, he spoiled you and tried to take charge when you were acting like a dead fish and in return, you threatened to kill yourself because he wanted sex like every normal man does and he had to leave with blue balls that night.

Senju was right. He wonders what he saw in you in the first place.

“... can you imagine? They’re not letting anyone stay back in school for winter break.” Emma whined, bringing Mikey back to reality. Everyone else on the table perked up from their food. “What for? What about people who want to stay behind and study? Or people who don’t have anywhere to go?”

Oh yeah. It was in the newsletter that Draken read to him earlier this month -and forced him to listen to. Mikey decides to chime in for the first time since the meal began. “Em, it’s not like they want to chase people out. The school’s undergoing some renovations and they don’t need any one interrupting them.”

“But that doesn’t answer my question.” Emma huffs out. Izana only chuckles at his little sister’s mini tantrum, while Mikey shakes his head. “What about people that don’t have a home to go back to? People that their families abandoned? Where are they supposed to go?”

“They’ll figure it out.” Draken scoffed dryly and some people on the table laughed in response.

“Ken, don't be so callous! (Name)’s in that category since her parents don’t even talk to her anymore-”

Mikey sees it. The subtle way your jaw clenches. But you’re not one to lash out, so he’s not worried. You know how to hold yourself. But Emma doesn’t, continuing on her tirade on just how she hates your parents so much while everyone else on the table looks from her to you.

“- ever since they disowned her, they’ve never bothered to even ask how she was doing! This school’s policy isn’t fa-”

“Emma…”

“-ir at all. Can you imagine? (Name), tell me you’re not going back to them? I can talk to the school if you want me to, they’ll have to listen to me-”

“Emma, please-”

“Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to go back to your shitty parents. Not like they deserve a good daughter like you anyways-”

“Stop it, please-”

Mikey knows that Emma’s in her own world, assuming she’s doing good as she rants about your shitty parents expecting you to agree with her like you always do with everything. But right now, she doesn’t hear the desperation in your tone or see the look of humiliation etched onto your features as everyone turns their attention towards you, staring at you either with pity, amusement or indifference.

“You’re too kind, always protecting them.” Emma sighs, turning to Senju, who like Izana only watches in amusement as you crumble further, tears slowly rolling down your cheeks. The pink haired girl has never liked you from day one, probably because Yuzuha hates you and she - Senju- adores the older woman. “Senju, can you imagine? They kicked her out for wanting to go to school. Ridiculous. Aren’t they terrible people? How would you not want your kid to go to school cause she’s a girl? And (name)’s incredibly smart too-”

“Please stop talking about my parents like that-”

“Oh come on! This again, (name).” She turns back to you, annoyed that she isn’t getting the reaction that she wants. “Why are you protecting them? You know they treated you badly! Your father used to beat you all the time and your mother would just watch-”

“Stop it, you’re making her sad!” Draken tries to cut her off, but it only makes Emma angrier, now facing Draken too. “I’m not! I’m just telling the truth! She keeps taking their side. When have they ever been good parents? Do you know she called her mother some months ago to talk? You all want to know what her mother had to say?”

“Please… don-”

“What did her mother say, Emma?” Yuzuha cuts in, now interested in the conversation, casting her phone aside. Her expression is curious, but there’s a sick glee in her honey coloured eyes, like she’s been waiting for this moment for a long time. “Can you tell us?”

“Gosh! Her mother called her a whore, Yuzuha. Her own mother! What kind of mother calls her virgin daughter a whore for wanting an education?”

The girls on the table dramatically gasped, not because they’re shocked, but because they knew it was upsetting you.

Yuzuha is the first to react, gleeful eyes finding yours, tearfully looking at her as her lips curled into a pitiful smile. “Oh (name), how the tables turned.” She says in a sickening sweet voice. “I know you didn’t think you would end up being your mother’s scapegoat, right? What a shame it happened to you too.”

Your body goes rigid for a brief moment, before snapping back to reality, please spilling from your lips. “Yuzuha please-”

“Huh…” Hinata chimed in, shutting your pleas down as she curiously asked, “Come to think of it. You did grow up together… did you ever encounter (name)’s mother?”

“Of course I did. I babysat her.” Yuzuha says the next part bitterly, as if she’s been holding this in for a very long time now, waiting for the right chance to speak her truth. “Unpaid labor to watch over (name) and teach her good manners. It was hell.” the girls, even Emma laughed, before Yuzuha continued. “You know, (name) acts like a saint now, but back then, she was a self-righteous, obnoxious brat who reported everyone’s wrong doings to her mother and father -letting her parents spread rumors about others, isolating people for silly things. But you know, I forgave her cause it wasn’t her fault she was like that. Her mother was a bible thumping idiot, so it made sense for her to turn out that way, just to get a crumb of attention-”

“Yuzuha, please-”

“But you know what IS unforgivable, though?” Yuzuha’s voice is curt, her eyes narrowed into slits, dealing a devastating blow to your already crumbling reputation. “Your mother called me a lying whore after I told her that your big brother tried to force himself on me.”

The whole table goes silent. Mikey trails his eyes to you, not believing his ears that you were involved in such a terrible act, until he sees the shame and guilt written all over your face, your shoulders trembling with sobs, whispering “I’m sorry” over and over again.

‘So that’s why she didn’t tell anyone anything about what I did.’

Mikey realizes that in a way, he was your karma after all. You would have deserved every single thing he did to you that night.

Yuzuha isn’t done yet. No, she’s been waiting for this opportunity for years, and nothing will stop her from dragging your name through the mud. She starts blinking out tears, trying to hold it in as everyone turns their attention towards you, blood lust permeating the air.

Emma can’t even stare at you. There’s this look of shock on her features, before morphing into one of utter disappointment.

“I understand if you still want to be friends with her, Emma. I kept this secret because you care about her, but everytime I look at this girl, all I can see is the church women berating me for a traumatic experience that wasn’t my fau- fault- oh god I can’t-”

Yuzuha suddenly breaks down, her head buried in her hands as she starts to cry. Hinata and Senju rush to hug the girl, while everyone else stares down at you, furious.

“I feel disgusted just looking at you.” Mitsuya is the first to speak up, his voice full of venom. It’s natural of him to be so protective of Yuzuha, especially because he’s so close to her and Hakkai. “So it was your mother that tried to ruin Yuzuha’s life and then you pretended like nothing happened and tried to join our group?”

“Wait, please I can explain. I wasn’t part of it-”

“Oh, you want to make excuses now?” Keisuke cuts you off angrily. “You’re lucky you’re a woman or I would have beaten you up where you sat.”

One by one, everyone started to gang up on you, cursing you out, not letting you say a single word. Eventually, you felt so powerless surrounded by people screaming at you that you started to cry even more, begging them to hear you out. You turn to the one person that could still have your back, your hands pressed together in a prayer. “Emma, please, you have to tell them to listen to me, please-”

“Why the fuck are you crying now?” Rindou suddenly snapped at you, pushing Emma behind him, not before you saw her turn her head away from you, as if she couldn’t stare at you any longer. “Why do you always have to act like the victim, huh? Is something wrong with you? You should be apologizing to Yuzuha, not dragging Emma into your stupid mess”

You’re quick to fall onto your knees in front of the orange haired girl, your head touching the ground, apologies spewing from your lips. But neither of the brothers, nor their friends care anymore. Mikey feels foolish for worrying about a pathetic human being like you, for having mercy on you instead of taking advantage of you like he should have. All this while, you acted like you were a harmless little ant that can’t do anything, writhing around when someone says something mean to you.

How could he have been so blind?

“Get out before I kill you.”

You look up at Mikey, about to open your mouth to beg him when Izana throws his drink at your head, splashing it on your entire body, sending the message loud and clear; get lost.

Mikey doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt when he sees you carrying your bags and leaving, sobs echoing throughout the entire school.

  SOMETIMES, you wonder if you were cursed.

In the year of your birth, your father had lost his job and became a terrible drunk. Your mother had taken even more frequent violent beatings - already a victim for the majority of their marriage- that year, more than any other year and hadn’t found out she was pregnant until she nearly miscarried you.

Bloodied with a swollen eye and a busted lip, she had more things to worry about than a budding child in her womb. Your immediate elder brother was four and the baby of the house, your three older brothers, aged ten, twelve and fifteen had an amazing relationship with your dad, him never hitting or hurting them. She already had four sons to raise, four sons that would carry the (last name) on for generations and for a split second she considered getting rid of you, despite being against it from a religious standpoint.

But then, your father assumed he would have another son. A fifth son. Your father loved sons, they were easier to raise and they were his pride and joy. The others were turning out good, and despite your father’s violence, life was good. A son brings luck and your father assumed he would get a job soon.

You were born unlucky. You were a girl.

Except for the prompting and care of your maternal grandmother, your mother practically abandoned you, hoping you would starve to death. You barely saw your father’s face, except through pictures and he hated touching you.

You knew your crime was being born a girl; you apologized every day and paid dearly for it. You did everything you were told, down to the most humiliating experiences of your life. You were smart enough to realize that if you could gain the love of your father, then everyone would love you too.

Misfortune after misfortune.

You thought the horrors would end there when you ran away from home. That you would change your destiny and live a normal life. All those books you read talked about finding yourself and love in high school, and you couldn’t really, because of the scrutiny of your family, perhaps university would be where you found it.

But now, it’s all gone. You’ve lost everything the moment you gained it, all for things you couldn’t control.

You don’t know how long you've been crying in the payphone booth, pressing the phone on your ear, waiting for someone to pick you up. It’s late in the night, and you’re clad in only your pjs and a jacket to ward off the cold, standing in a cramped space, miles away from your dorm. Your eyes feel swollen from sobbing for long hours, the only thing you do after school, while applying for jobs, while doing your assignments - an everlong sadness etched into the very crevice in your soul.

“Hello, who is this?”

There are no ties left between you and your mother or any member of your family after you ran away two years ago, to show how foolish the idea was to go back to your vomit. But with everything that has happened, there was no other person you could turn to but your parents.

At least there, you knew where you stood and how to avoid trouble. You knew not to look your brother or father in the eye and you knew they rather have too little salt in their food than too much. Your life back then was horrible, but your brothers respected you enough to not allow any man touch you or humiliate you in public like the Sano family and their group of horrible friends have done, even if it’s all to preserve your family’s image. 

“I’m sorry but if you’re not going to say anything, I’m going to have to cut the call.”

“W-wait don’t go-” You blurt out quickly, racking through your brain to say anything before she starts getting suspicious. “I-i- is the (lastname)’s home?”

“Yes. What do you want?”

Your heart nearly breaks into two at the fact that not even your mother recognizes your voice. Sure it’s been two years but surely your voice hasn’t changed that much since then, has it? Were you that irrelevant that you - her child, her only daughter- were not something of importance or someone to remember?

You comb through your brain to think of something to say. What do you even say to someone who called you a disgrace to all women? That told you she will never ever forgive you for breaking her heart? You’re sure if you lead with a ‘hey, mom, it’s me’ she’d cut the call, still angry at you for running away from home and bringing shame to your family’s name by doing so.

Your parents never forgot your past transgressions when you were in the house, always holding it up over your head and weaponizing it against you to get you to be a good girl. Back then, you were sure they hated you and all your classmates muttered about how abusive it was to be in that kind of situation, but now, even the beatings given to you pales in comparison to the trauma the Sano brothers have put you through.

You want to go back to your parents and tell them you were sorry for thinking they were bad people. That you love them and you’re ready to be a good child and do as they say. “Do you by chance have a daughter?” you decide to test the waters, hopeful she’d be at least receptive to hearing about you. “I’m her friend and I know that I’m doing this behind her back but she really misses you-”

“I had a daughter” she cuts you off abruptly, her tone cold, talking about you in past tense as if you’re dead. Maybe you are dead to your mother at least, with how hateful she sounds, as if your name is poison. “If by any chance that whore is trying to reconcile then tell her to not bother us. Goodbye.”

“Wait, mama it’s me! It’s (name)! I’m sorry, i’m sor-”

The line goes dead before you could say anything else.

Sobs escape from your lips, the phone slipping from your hand to the ground with a dull thud, your body sliding down the phone booth, head buried in your hands as your shoulders tremble. Of course, what did you expect? That your mother would want you back? You’re not her beloved sons who would carry the family name further, you’re a liability of a daughter who couldn’t do one thing right.

Even if you do come home, you’re already partially soiled with Manjiro touching you, with nothing to your name but the shame of failure in every aspect of your life.

“Please mama, I want to come home.”

‘sixteen missed calls from: (nick name) <3’

‘Thirty unread messages from: (nickname) <3’

‘5 voicemails from: (nickname)<3’

  HOW do you forgive someone who has been lying to you your entire friendship?

You're the least person she’d expect to betray her like this. She assumed you were an open book, that you told her everything about your past, your family and your life, because she did so. You’re the first person she dared to bare her heart to that wasn’t either a childhood friend or her brother’s goons. You’re the person she risked all her relationships for, always fighting for you, defending you against her brother’s accusations, that you wanted something from her, probably because you were poor. She even dared to fall in love with you, in love with the person you showed her you were.

But that was a lie. Everything about you is a lie. You weren’t an innocent, helpless girl who was kicked out by her cruel family, you were just as cruel as they were. Outing Hakkai for being gay, keeping quiet about what happened to Yuzuha, ruining a girl’s chance to escape her arranged marriage by telling her family where she hid? It just kept getting worse with each tearful story Yuzuha had told her.

You were not the person she thought you were.

Her brothers had tried to warn her. Izana is usually a good judge of character, and he was always paranoid when it came to you. Mikey’s friendly to everyone, but for some reason, you and him clashed so often. Emma used to put the blame on her brothers’ difficulty to accept change. Now she realizes that maybe they saw something dangerous in you that she didn’t.

Her phone rings loudly again from across the room, but Emma has not made any effort to pick it up, opting to just lie face down on the hotel bed, waiting for Draken to come out of the bathroom. She knows it’s you calling her, begging her to please listen and hear you out, but she can’t bring herself to do so. Even if she picks it up, you’re just going to lie, hide the truth from her to save your skin. How many secrets have you been keeping from her? How many more? How could you betray her like this?

She won’t fall for it. Never again.

Eventually, the calls stop coming in, probably because you’re tired or you’ve figured it out that you’re not needed anymore. She asks Draken to help her delete all the messages and voicemails when he comes out, not wanting to look at them anymore, or she might cave and call you back.

And when he was done, she asks him to fuck her until she can’t remember the name of her traitous friend.

It doesn’t work.

  IZANA loves being right.

Watching Mikey furiously pace around, his fists balled at his side as he curses you over and over again was vindicating. All along, Izana knew you were suspicious, that good girl act of yours, how quickly you became friends with Emma, how not even Hinata liked you when they first met you; it had to mean you were hiding something.

He didn’t expect it to be so big, of course, but it felt good to be correct.

So now, while everyone is reeling from Yuzuha’s confession, Izana is gleeful. You’re finally, finally the villain in this story for the first time and he’s not seen as the crazy bully who tormented you for nothing. Sure, Emma is crying her eyes out in her room as Draken tries to comfort her, and Mikey’s having a mental crisis about how he should have gone ahead that night instead of sparing you, he’s personally, is having the time of his life, pouring shots after shots for himself and Kisaki. 

If he had it his way, he would have thrown a ‘fuck you, (name)’ party to celebrate you being gone from their lives.

“Come on now Mikey!” he calls out, holding out a drink for him, a wide smile on his face. “You’ve got to sit down, have a drink. I’ll even get you a cocktail that’s sweet, just the way you like it. Stop pacing around like you’re the guilty one.”

Mikey stops for a moment, his dark empty eyes darting from Izana’s drink to Izana’s smirking face. His facial expression is almost unreadable, if not for the brewing irritation hidden beneath his carefully crafted blank stare.

‘Oh’ Izana reminds himself of that unfortunate night that he wasted all his energy on helping his brother to get you, his smile dropping outwardly. ‘I forgot that he was also beginning to have feelings for her. How troublesome.’

The white haired man sets down the drink carefully, refusing to break eye contact with his younger brother. It seemed Mikey’s opposing mood must have sobered up Izana, at least to the point where he could stand up carefully and walk up to his little brother until they were standing face to face with each other. Kisaki watches the event unfold, one leg strewn over the other as he sips on his drink.

“Manjiro, rejoice, you can rest easy now” Izana starts, after a momentary long pause. “She can never use what you did to her against you. No one's gonna believe her. I know she was beginning to mean something to you and you were navigating very difficult feelings, things you don’t understand-”

Manjiro’s eyes hardened at Izana’s words even further, the frown on his face deepening. “I think I understand my feelings very well.” He snaps defensively, as if saying he had feelings for you was some kind of insult. “I was not in love with her. I’m just annoyed that I fell for her innocent act.”

Izana blinked once. Then twice. Then three times.

‘This idiot cannot be serious’

Composing himself, Izana takes in a deep breath, rubbing his temples with a groan. He’s back to Mikey denying his true feelings to cope, square one again. “Mikey, it’s okay to feel betrayed by (name). Everyone knows you wanted her and that’s fine-”

“I did not want her.”

“Mikey don’t lie to yourself. I know what I saw that night-”

“I don’t care what you saw, I did not want her then and I don’t want her now-”

There’s a growing frustration gnawing at Izana’s mind, but also amusement. Mikey is so prone to denying his own feelings, and denying the truth, even when evidence was face to face with him, that it was nearly hilarious to watch him do it, especially when it’s someone he feels is beneath him.

“Mikey, do you like her?”

“No.”

“You’re lying. You do have feelings for her. Just admit it. That’s why you’re upset about it right? About what she did? Because now, you’re torn between loyalty to us and going after her-”

“I said I don’t like her. I even feel disgusted for ever touching her in the first place.” Mikey looks terribly pissed at this point, his face red with anger. This was getting ridiculous now, it’s written all over Mikey’s body- the twitching of his left fist, the rapid blinking, even how he’s trying to even his breath to calm down; each denial is a confession. “I’ve got many girls that want to fuck me, she’s not the only one.”

“-and yet, you wanted to chase after her.” Izana spat back. “Isn’t that right?”

“Keep believing in your own delusions, Izana.”

“Delusions? Says the man who keeps jerking off to her nude photos every night.”

Mikey hadn’t even realized when he jumped on top of his brother, pushing him down hard on the  wooden table and knocking the drinks over, shattering the expensive bourbon whiskey Kisaki had just acquired to the ground and started exchanging blows with him. Izana doesn’t hold back either, wrestling Mikey off him to the ground, swinging twice as hard.

“Oh come on,” Izana yelled, articulating his words with brutal blows to Mikey’s jaw and face, sending it flying upward. “Everyone knows what is up Mikey. You’re head over heels for her-”

All Mikey saw was red as he swung his head downwards, landing on his elder brother’s nose hard and destabilizing him, before throwing Izana on the wall. Mikey corners him in place, before punching his abdomen repeatedly, making the older man cough violently. “I told you I don’t love that bitch,” His voice didn’t change inflection as he switched his direction to Izana’s cheek. “Why the fuck don’t you ever listen to me? Are you trying to piss me off?”

The older male blocked the last fist aimed at his face and kneed his brother in his stomach, before kicking him to the floor. A psychotic grin made its way to Izana’s face, like the painful blows were nothing to him. “Just a few weeks ago-” he kicked Mikey in the face, making the blond tumble across the floor. “ -you were all over her, wanting her to sit on your lap and feed you? Bet you called your other sluts her name, didn’t you?”

“So what if I did? Doesn’t matter! I’m not in love with her.”

“Really? That’s not normal Mikey-”

Izana’s mockery only fuelled Mikey’s anger, making him push himself off the ground and kick his brother violently in his face. The white haired man fell straight to the ground, howling with laughter at Mikey’s outburst as the blonde jumped on top of him, ready to punch his face again.

“You’re so in love with her-”

“THAT IS ENOUGH!”

Mikey’s hand froze mid punch at the sound of Kisaki Tetta screaming at the top of his voice from the sofa. Kisaki looked at the two of them, nose turned up in disgust as he folded his arms around his chest. The two brothers looked around them, realizing the wreckage they caused within just minutes of fighting- broken vases, the shattered whiskey soaking into Hajime’s imported rug, and glass shards.

His glass encased eyes scanned around the room, tsking at the destruction. “Kokonoi’s going to fucking kill me.” He murmured before looking at the two males, a frown on his lips. “All this over one bitch?” he asked, a brow raised in disappointment and shock. “I’d be impressed if I wasn’t pissed.”

Izana was the first to react, scoffing at the younger male’s unwanted interruption. “This isn’t your problem-”

“It’s mine now.” Kisaki shot back hotly, irritated by everything that was going on. “Since we can’t even have peace of mind now that she is gone, it’s definitely my problem. The both of you, get up. Now.”

The two of them begrudgingly untangled themselves from each other and got up, dusting their clothes, ignoring the bruises scattered all over their body. Or the blood dripping down Mikey’s face from the cut on his head, and his eye that was now black and swelling up, even the way Izana held his abdomen painfully. Kisaki eyed both of them, moving from Mikey to Izana and then Mikey again.

“Mikey, you know normally I don’t care about what woman you see, as long as it’s not affecting our business.” He starts, taking in a deep, long breath before letting it out. “But everyone’s noticed the change in your demeanour since that party where you and (name) fought.”

“Are you agreeing with Izana?”

“Come on, even Kisaki can see it, you’re the one who’s playing dum-”

“ENOUGH!” Kisaki interjected once again, extremely frustrated by their constant squabbles. The brothers kept quiet, as Kisaki continued. “Mikey, it’s clear there’s a tension between the two of you. I don’t mind whether you label it or not, but it’s clear this is affecting you.”

It was Mikey’s turn to roll his good eye, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m fine.-”

“Manjiro Sano, you are twenty-four for god’s sake. Stop being so childish for once.” Izana spat back, getting fed up. Kisaki nodded, agreeing with Izana. “He has a point. You can’t keep pretending it doesn’t exist forever. For some reason, you want her.”

Mikey took a long and deep breath, trying to make headway and listen to what Kisaki was saying, despite the whole ordeal being so difficult for him. His good dark eye flickered to Kisaki’s face as he asked. “What the fuck are you implying”

“It’s very easy,” Kisaki shrugged his shoulders. “you just need to get her out of your system.”

Izana started smiling deviously, wanting to piss off Mikey even further. “Like a rebound? Well, Senju tried, but then she got really pissed with him moaning a different girls name while being balls deep in her-”

“Shut up and let me finish.” Kisaki barked. When he was sure no one was going to interrupt him, he continued. “Mikey, you have to sleep with (name)”

As much as Izana wanted to pass off Kisaki’s idea as a stupid plan, it actually sounded like a good idea. Sometimes, you just need to get something to see how worthless and unimportant it was so that you can let it go. He had to admit, as much as Kisaki was a bastard who was only doing this for his drug business, he couldn’t deny he was more insightful than anyone when it came to interpersonal relationships.

Too bad he couldn’t use that skill to get the woman he loved.

“You’re fucking crazy.” Mikey interjects, his face scrunched up in disgust, repulsed by the idea. “She has rejected me so many times and look at the way we kicked her out of the group. She’s not going to believe me if I suddenly switch up and pretend to be nice just to get in her pants. And I don’t sleep with virgins-”

“But it seem like you really want to fuck this one.” Izana retorts dryly. Kisaki shoots him a dirty look, making the older man raise his hand not clutching his abdomen in mock surrender.

“I don’t want her.” Mikey spits out. It’s clear he’s getting tired of everyone being on his case about you. “Yeah, I wanted to sleep with her at some point, but she sucks at everything I ask her to do. She can’t even satisfy me sexually, even when she’s on board. There’s nothing redeeming about her personality, she’s a boring prude with nothing to offer. Why the hell would I chase after her?”

“Mikey, are you sure? You know, we can help you-”

“If she ever approaches me again, I’ll snap her neck.”

Without saying anything else, Mikey picks up his phone and storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Kisaki collapses on the couch, snatching the bottle instead of the shot glass, mumbling something along the lines of Mikey being a ‘spoiled brat’ and how he’s tired of all this dramatic nonsense before downing the drink in one go.

Izana stands there, looking at the door, blinking slowly as if processing everything that just happened, the wheels turning his head. He knows Mikey is lying about not wanting you, Izana can see it in his younger brother’s eyes and it should anger him, after all, he went through the stress of dealing with the aftermath of the situation, then setting up the mall outing that would make you indebted to Mikey and do whatever he wants with you. After all, those are times where Izana could have been doing something else entirely.

He should be angry. He had every right to. Any normal person would be angry for that much effort over something that didn’t work.

But when you’re Izana Kurokawa, you take every opportunity that has been staring at you for so long, even the one that doesn’t seem desirable enough at first glance, because in the end, you know the rewards are far greater and more interesting for the future.

A twisted grin makes its way to his face, his eyes gleaming with overwhelming excitement as the pieces fall into place for his next move. He was known as the gasoline to Mikey’s flames, always fanning the flames of dark impulses in Mikey’s heart and pushing him to be the worst version of himself.

And it seemed like Mikey just needed a little push in the right direction to lead him down the path Izana wants him to go.  

‘It’s my turn to play with your toy, little brother’

Bonus:

  SCHOOL closes eventually for the holidays.

Your roommate was already gone days before the official day came, leaving you all alone and you would have asked to come with her, but you know her answer would be a strong no. You tried calling Emma again, but her line doesn’t go through anymore, reminding you of the bitter reality that you’re truly alone in this world.

The school’s order was swift, kicking anyone left out or handing out suspensions to anyone that refused to leave. The last thing you needed was a suspension, so you packed a little of your things and wandered around in the bitter cold of the winter.

Things were hard at first. You tried your best not to look suspicious so that no one would suspect you’re homeless and call the police to report you or harrass you. At night, there was so much violence- fights would break out, there was so much stealing. Some of the men in the surrounding area had tried to take advantage of you, but you didn’t hesitate to defend yourself, fighting back and escaping.

It’s not like it’s your first time being homeless. So you know. It’s not easier for you, but at least you’re not as naïve as you were at seventeen.

Eventually, you wound up at a homeless shelter somewhere around town. It was crowded, cramped and smelt like damp mold most of the time, but at least you had a bed and two warm meals everyday. You could study now with little fear of getting robbed here, and go out and look for some odd jobs to do to earn money.

“Hey, missus cambridge, it’s food time.”

Your head snaps up from your book as the woman calls out to you. You didn’t really know her name or anything about her other than how she lost her kid and then everything in her life spiralled, wounding her up here. She was as nice as one could be trying to survive, giving you the name missus cambridge because you always held your bookbag so tight whenever you slept and then you did nothing but read all day or work all day.

“Yes mam.” You said, dropping your book, stuffing it into your bag and strapping your bag to yourself, before heading out towards the church. You were told that every Christmas, they donate food to the shelter from December to January, before disappearing into thin air. You found it ironic, the way that the soup drive gave them something to say they’re good people and call it a day. You don’t blame them. You don’t blame anyone for doing what they want to do.

After waiting your turn and getting your food, you sat down quietly somewhere far away from others. For once in your life, despite not having a roof over your head or a stable place to eat, you had peace of mind. No one was dragging you around and forcing you to do what you don’t want. Or breathing down your neck and telling you want to do. Or trying to rape you constantly.

Just peace and quiet.

‘Maybe this is better.’ you thought to yourself. ‘It’s better if I am alone. Everyone I loved always betrayed me or turned their backs on me. And it’s exhausting to keep enduring it. I don’t have to pretend to like people that hurt me or want me dead. I can live my life, now.’