Fart Smella 🤑

do it scared. do it vaguely uncomfortable. do it mysteriously damp

sorry yeah ive got a bad case of Thinking About My Friends. im afraid its incurable. symptoms include happiness and love and wishes that they will have the life they want to live.

God if you’re real, please don’t let me fall in love with my one (1) male coworker. I didn’t realize that it was such a real thing because I only ever work with women, but I finally met the one (1) guy and he’s around-ish my age. God, if you’re out there, please, let me live in piece.

My coworker no showed and he ended up coming and helping me out. I got a whiff of his cologne. It’s Joever 😔

He shared his fav music artist with me and I love them. I’m done for.

God if you’re real, please don’t let me fall in love with my one (1) male coworker. I didn’t realize that it was such a real thing because I only ever work with women, but I finally met the one (1) guy and he’s around-ish my age. God, if you’re out there, please, let me live in piece.

My coworker no showed and he ended up coming and helping me out. I got a whiff of his cologne. It’s Joever 😔

hey. can i come over and explode into viscera in your living room ?

having a uterus SUCKS man bc all day you'll be feeling the "hey bestie check your pants 😃 check it right now 😃 you might be getting your period 😃 hey bestie i think youre bleeding 😃" and then when you check if you got your period and your body is like WRONG ❌️ its The Slime

grinding and cramming for finals when I'd rather be grinding and cramming. in like a sex way or something. i guess. i dunno. shuffles away sadly. hits my head on a low-hanging branch and bleeds out in the snow

I know I sound like your mom but you kids need to stop fucking vaping