Yo, I don't even know.

This was the entire thought process of Pepe le Pew

GOD ALMIGHTY IT’S TRANSPARENT.

Need something to cheer me up today.

“Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?” “Um, it’s called ‘being polite’…?”

“I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I’m allergic, but all I’m getting on Google is vampire bullshit.”

“Dude can a mirror like… stop working or something?”

“Have you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man.”

“I want to sleep in a coffin…ya kno, for like… aesthetic”

“I looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer.”

This last addition made the reblog obligatory. This one wins.

For rogues who are getting seriously into character.

​this worked last night lets go for round two

I really need some good luck rn

Dont care for luck, care for goat

don’t talk to him, he’s angwy

what the actual fuck

Men don’t know women can pee

ive been sitting on the toilet for 20 minutes trying to piss but the pee keeps getting lost in my confusing Woman Body

i haven’t peed in 16 days… my pee keeps running into the minotaur in the labyrinth that is my Womanly Excretory System

The person who first discovered that coconut could be eaten must have experienced depths of hunger many will never know.

They prolly just saw some other animal doin it my man

you mean like the coconut crab, which naturally feeds on coconuts by breaking htem open with large claws? 

For clarification, the crabs are not accused of killing Amelia Earhart. The idea is that if she died after crash landing on an island in the pacific the coconut crabs would have eaten her corpse and scattered the bones, which is why no one has ever found her body.

ur twenties are weird. i have the priorities of a kindergartener again. i don’t know what in the hell is going on EVER. i like colors. i like soup. i want to take a nap