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My Ao3 (requires log in to see most fics)

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A/N: Jily mention with Lily + Sirius bros

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Lily’s dusting off fresh wine glasses when Sirius slinks over, eyeing the crowd warily. “We’re here until the last of the drinks are drunk.”

She chuckles. “That’s usually how it goes in my line of work.”

“I don’t mean until last call. I mean until the last of those bottles you’ve got hidden under tehre are dry. Although they could send me out for more booze,” Sirius snatches a toothpick and crew on it, “Then we’re here until their card gets declined.”

“Remind me why you work for them?” Lily asks, relaxing into their usual judgy banter as she slices a fresh lemon. Lots of vodka sodas with lemon tonight. Unfortunately, none of them for Lily.

“Remind me why you agreed to bartend for them,” Sirius shoots back.

Lily narrows her eyes as she sets out a new bowl of nuts, “You tricked me.”

“I did not,” Sirius sniffs, adjusting his tie,“James is really going to be here.”

“I – ” Lily begins a blurted defense, but falters at Sirius’ knowing expression. It’s not a surprise he’s figured it out. He didn’t include the little tidbit about James attending by accident. “Don’t tell James.” 

“What?” Sirius chuckles, snagging a single serve Pellegrino and cracking it open, “That you love him?”

“Not – Sirius, I'm going to spit in your drink.”

“You forget I only drink from the bottle at these things.”

“So I’ll just go for immediate bodily injury,” Lily thrusts whatever’s in her hand in his direction, going for menacing.

“Honestly, please do stab me with that metal stirrer – enough to need medical attention but maybe not to kill me. Then they have to let me go to the A&E.”

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“I’m just saying.”

“You are not – why can’t you just wear the glasses like everyone else?” Lily groans, pulling two National Geographics off the shelf and tucking them under her arm. It’s a miracle they found a shop that still had copies with eclipse glasses included. 

“I already wear glasses, Lil,” James moans, dropping his forehead to her shoulder, “Now I'll have to wear two.”

“Okay. Well then explain to me how slight protection of your eyes under water has anything to do with an eclipse?” Lily hisses, eyes darting around to confirm no Muggles in hearing distance as they make their way toward the check out queue.

“Gillyweed is magical,” James answers easily, significantly less concerned about breaking the Statute of Secrecy or sounding like a loon,”Who knows what it can do?”

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Being Head Girl and Head Boy is an honor that is also a pain in the ass. 

Responsibilities, administrative tasks, late nights, all on top of being 7th Years. So when you add onto that high visibility and the perception among staff and students alike that you are in fact the problem solving tool they need for every problem. Well it’s not surprising to find yourself hiding in a darkened booth at the Hog’s Head with your fellow Head and about four or five of the sketchiest witches and wizards in Scotland. 

Not with them. Well with your fellow Head yes but — anyway. That’s why James is currently halfway through a bottle of Elf Made Wine with Lily Evans, for the first time in ages getting to be boyfriend and girlfriend not co-heads. 

Lily, unaware of James’ internal musings, shares her own. “Is ‘Elf Made Wine’ like fae win?”

“Elves make all our food at Hogwarts,” James narrows his eyes, “Is this a muggle lore thing?”

“They’re a particular type of elf – I’ve never wanted to sound like an unaware muggleborn, but yeah. There’s folklore about the fae…which I know are real…”

“This is specifically House Elf made wine.”

Lily takes another sip of her drink, “I guess if they had some secret ability to control people with their food and drink, we’d live in a very different world.”

James nods, considering what exactly that might look like. Some idiot witch or wizard definitely would’ve started abusing the power by now. Like fecking Malfoy. He shakes the angry thoughts free of his head and smirks at Lily, “‘Sides, would aberforth be selling it if it was some sort of mind control tool?”

SEE ANOTHER ONE lol <3

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Snow days — the ones where you’re not obligated to anyone or anything — are the cozier, more extended version of a rainy afternoon. Particularly since rain can hardly be used as an excuse to stay in when one lives in London. 

But a snowstorm heavy enough to shut the roads but not so bad as to cut the power. It’s perfection. Particularly when you’re locked in with loads of fondu and your beautiful wife. 

All of this also contributes to a tenfold increase in laziness.

James groans from his place slumped in the armchair. “I wish I was magic, or even you were.”

“I have been told on more than one occasion — by you — that I am magic.”

“Yes but that was a very specific scenario and we were both naked.”

Lily readjusts the pillow under her head. “No at least once we had most of our clothes on…I was fully dressed and you — ”

“Lily it is torture to have this conversation when it’s definitely not going anywhere.”

“The doctor said,” Lily starts, prodding James’ leg encouragingly with her socked toes. 

“I don’t mean the human baby I mean my cheese baby.”

“You’re a baby.”

“I just want a magic wand Lily.”

“I think your wand is pretty magic,” Lily answers, deliberately obtuse and absolutely trying to make the evening take an interesting turn. Pregnancy hormones are wild.

 “Lily.”

She manages to roll to feet and lean over James, hands grasping the armrests. “You know you would forget your wand all the time,” she leans in close, breath tickling his ear, “Like my cookie butter.”

James gasps as her teeth nip at his earlobe. But sexual tension never kept them from bickering. It’s practically foreplay. “Lily, you know I went back out for it. Also in my magical universe wandless magic is a thing.”

A/N: I WILL CATCH UP

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“Does using the command key ever make you feel bad?”

There's a long, judgy pause before Lily sighs and answers, “It’s two in the morning, James.”

James, as usual, is undeterred, “I mean I’m sitting here, keeping my computer awake.”

“James.”

“And I can’t even say please.”

“What if you think of it as the please key?” Lily asks, placating but with just a hint of judgmental in her tone. She’s propped up on one elbow, hair in a loose braid, glasses on and looking adorably sleepy. 

Adorable enough that he considers her solution for a second, he considers the idea, but in the end rejects the notion. “Nah, I still know what it really is.”

Lily drops back against her pillow with a long suffering groan. “Do you feel bad for keeping me awake?”

“You’re playing Animal Crossing,” James answers, clacking away at the keys, trying not to wince when ge uses the command key. Maybe he needs sleep.  

Lily resumes her efforts in her little town, the glow of her Switch giving her face a creepy, bluish hue. “I could be asleep if it weren’t for my devotion to you, my love.”

“You wouldn't be though,” James says, pausing for a sip of tepid tea, “ Not while Wisp is in town.”

“I caught his last bits ages ago, he gave me a fridge.”

“Lame.”

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“Lord Malfoy is an exasperating germ of a human being with his silk vests and fancy manor parties,” James grumbles into his punch, taking a too large sip in his anger and nearly spilling it down his front.

Sirius toys with the potted plant at his other side, pulling the leaves in a very nearly destructive manner, “You realize you too live in a Manor, are wearing silk, and your mother is planning a ball in the next fortnight.”

James harrumphs, sounding not unlike an impatient bull. “Quite, but I have never done society the disservice of being such an ass about it.”

Sirius twirls his moustache - not unlike a villainous wretch in one of James’ favored novels, and asks, “So it is the manor and all that rubbish that disturbs you, not Lord Malfoy asking Miss Evans to dance?”

“At least she looks miserable,” James adds, not feeling his most empathetic or gentlemanly, which is why a third voice joining their little tête-à-tête has him jolting dramatically enough to spill the dregs of his punch over his luckily dark hued cravat.

“Oh she definitely is.”

“Miss McKinnon, you are positively wraith-like,” Sirius says with a grin, offering James a handkerchief, “When did you arrive?”

“Long enough ago to know Lord Potter is a fool in love.”

“I would not presume to say ‘love.’”

Sirius snorts, “I would.”

“Do not worry your pretty little head,” Miss McKinnon adds, “Miss Evans hates Lord Malfeasance.”

James smiles grimly as he watches Lily – he can call her Lily in his head – whirl around the floor with Malfoy, her brittle smile plastered in place. “I like it.”

“Unfortunately for my sense of self importance, I cannot take credit for the witticism — twas all the lovely Miss Evans,” Miss McKinnon answers, frowning.

“She is witty,” James agrees, eyes distant as he nervously fiddles with the curls brushing his collar.

Sirius elbows him in the side, “She is also about to be released back to the throng of desperate gentlemen.”

“Should I — ”

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“Oof, sweeping?”

James sighs and props his wrists atop the broom, staring off into space, “Sod off Evans.” Unfortunately, staring off dramatically only calls his attention to the endless cleaning ahead of him. Where do cobwebs even come from? Messy spiders?

“Potter, don’t be a sore loser.”

When he drops his forehead, he feels more than sees Lily come up behind him and wrap her arms around his middle. “No, I don't want your comfort.”

Her hands drift, tickling the bare skin of his stomach where she’s rucked the hem of his shirt up just enough to drive him a little mad. “Are you sure?”

To jar himself back to sanity, James pulls away and twists to face her, pointing the broom stick at her menacingly, “Yes Lily Evans, I don’t want to mess around with my girlfriend for comfort when I’m cleaning a whole manor because I lost a bet with said girlfriend who gave her winnings to my mum.”

“What a convoluted summation,” Lily says, grasping the broom just above his hands, “And we merely wanted to teach you a valuable lesson.”

“Which is ‘never trust beautiful women?’”

A/N: an actual house elf appears!

@jilymicrofics | Ao3 Collection

James has just cracked the portrait hole open when he hears the last voice he wants to hear while sneaking back in after a night out sparring with Moony. Now under normal circumstances, he’s anywhere from neutral to elated at the prospect of an encounter with Lily Evans, his favorite prefect. Don’t tell Moony. 

But right now, exhausted, covered in mud, and toting a basket full of contraband from the Kitchens – it’s not ideal.

He pauses, muscles trembling at holding the awkward squat in his state, and listens more closely.

“Trixie, I just feel awful making you do it for just me.”

“Miss Evans should not feel awful. Trixie is doing her job.”

Lily sighs deeply, like this argument is going on significantly longer than anticipated, “Your job is hardly to feed students at all hours.”

“But Miss – ”

“If you would just show me how to get into the Kitchens.”

“Oh but Trixie – ”

In an instant, James makes an ill considered, rash decision – his favorite kind – and pushes the Portrait Hole open. “I can put both of you out of your misery.” He gestures to the basket in his hand. 

Trixie jolts, gripping the ends of her ears and tugging them nervously, “Mr. Potter startled Trixie. Should not be sneaking about the corridors.”

“You read my mind Trixie,” Lily agrees with a considering frown. She’s definitely spotted the mud on the ends of his robe and soles of his shoes. There must be some splattered on his face. Maybe half the basket will appease the crimson beast. 

“Trixie thinks this is a matter for Miss Evans and Mr. Potter to discuss,” Trixie says, eyes wide, and disappears with a pop.

James ruffles his hair and feels the crispy tips, Evans definitely saw that mud. “Evening.”

“Morning more like.”

She’s folded her arms but she’s also fighting a grin. So he prods. “Miss Prefect is hardly in a position to judge when I walked in on you bullying a House Elf to sneak you into the Kitchens.”