Full Schmuck Mode

Hey I've been trying to change my bio for years and it won't let me. Every time I try it reverts back. But anyway hiiii im 28 now and I dont eat doritos until I fall asleep anymore

Hell yeah dude you look so fucking ugly and stupid and unattractive speeding through a neighborhood with children playing and driving your Tesla while texting on your phone and blasting music. Good job on your celibacy and making nobody want to have sex with you or ever find you appealing in any way shape or form that is so cool dude

pretty sure I'm on the spectrum but my savant skill is being able to tell almost exactly where someone is going to score on the Weschler Adult Intelligence Scale, Fifth Edition (WAIS5) after meeting them

"Ohhh dont be so hard on your boyfriend, it's not like he hits you or cheats on you!" yeah no sorry but expecting him to do his fair share of household chores isn't being hard on him but sorry that your standards are so low

I hope that you know if you have kids n you let them play outside. That as your neighbor i am watching your kids LIKE A HAWK to make sure theyr safe. Like get your damn ass outta da road. I know where your mama lives and I WILL tell on your ass!!! Like these are OUR kids now i dont know you or them but I promise you I would take a bullet for them. Or give them some free nerf guns i found in my closet idk they seem to like those (good luck)

Staying up late to watch my show. And by show I mean the severe thunderstorm warning

How do pets' nicknames get like that? My cat's name is Angus but somehow it's turned into "Tingee Boh-bingee"