I'd tap that

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

When asked "what do you want to be when you grow up?" 89% of children ages 6-18 responded 'warrior-poet'. The remaining 11% was some other boring shit

your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for a graduate degree

we need militant anti-boyfriend action in 2026

It’s always “why did you get in the river” and “your soaking wet” and never How was the river The river looked fun was it fun

woah i havent seen you since before we became wandering husks without names or faces

I'm so glad media like Heated Rivarly exists for people who enjoy having fun. Personally, I hate fun so this show is not for me. If a movie or tv show leaves me happy it's simply not for me. In fact, it should make me feel worse than I did before watching it.

deliriously ripping open the sexy fishnet tights of a beautiful woman named bag of mandarins

I’m working on myself. I should be emotionally available by 2027 I can feel it.