Groovypaperpizza

“Thanks doc, I appreciate it. I still gotta talk to him. Nothing’s going to stop me from doing that.” 

The doctor held his hands up appeasingly, “Sure, I won’t stop you, just you heard it from me, don’t be surprised if your friend isn’t there. The strongest man wouldn’t be expected to survive what he did. I may be overstepping but I think it’d be a mercy if the James you knew died a long time ago, at least he wouldn’t have had to live through- what they did.”

Steve nodded, he knew the doctor was right about one thing, it would be merciful if Buck died when he fell down that ravine all those years ago. But Steve knew he was selfish and terrible and he saw that spark. Buck was still there.

They said he’d be sedated. He wondered how they had come up with a sedative strong enough for a super soldier. With a shiver he wondered if they had developed it for him, had it on hand in case Steve ever became a problem. Knowing SHIELD, he didn’t want to give it much more thought.

Buck was in a room entirely made of steel. But it had been painted white to disguise the cold metal, at least to the eye. He knew that was so they could shock him if need be. It didn't look good to outfit their patients in shock collars after all, this was a good work around.

Again, he wondered how long they had had all of this technology ready… this cell waiting…

Buck was curled in the corner. No bed, no blanket, no mat. They had cut his hair short, buzzed to a quarter inch, He didn’t expect this, even in its odd institutional style it caught his breath. Bucky already looked more and less like himself.

“Buck-” The door closed behind him. Bucky didn’t stir. Maybe he was too sedated.

“Bucky-” He stepped a little closer and to his half surprise he saw the patient’s eyelids flicker open suddenly. But controlled, the rest of his body remained completely still.

“Uh- it’s me, Buck, it’s Steve…” Bucky remained where he was a moment before he judged it was safe to move and he clumsily attempted to shift himself upright. He watched Steve with empty eyes all the while.

“I’m sorry they have you here-” For most, there would be no signs of fear to detect from the Winter Soldier. But Steve saw a trapped animal just shy of quivering in fear. Steve backed up again so he was against the wall to give him more space.

The Winter Soldier lowered his eyes then. He was wearing a hospital gown, Steve could see someone had tied the bows in the back. Must have been knocked out then, he thought to himself. No nurse would ever get that close to him while awake.

Was that how it went? Any care he needed administered while he was out only to wake up in different places, in different conditions, with signs of all that he had missed. It made Steve feel sick.

Then it made him feel sicker when he realized that was the reality of the Winter Soldier’s last 60+ years in and out of cryo freeze.

“You don’t always have to stay here- this doesn’t have to be permanent.”

Silence.

“Do you remember me?” His heart leapt out of his chest suddenly and it spilled out. He had meant to be gentler. This was one of the millions of reasons girls hadn’t wanted to date him in 1941 besides his stature, he had no subtlety.

Buck- The Winter Soldier looked back up at him, gazing at him for a moment before flickering his eyes back down and shaking his head.

“You’re lying. You pulled me from the river.”

He shook his head again, smaller this time. He seemed very unhappy.

“You saved me Buck. They told me you’re gone. But you’re my friend. You’re not gone. I know you’re not.”

Buck started shaking his head again now over and over and now he really did begin to tremble.

Someone knocked on the window behind Steve. In an instant the door was opening for him to exit.

“He get’s like this- they think it’s its his programming- he like- he shuts down-”

Men in special uniforms filled the space Steve had just taken. One of them had a syringe.