*low mechanical hum*

and it's making me reflect on JonTron cause I used to be a big fan of his back in the day (I'll take that L, thank you)

so, my ex bf back in HS introduced me to Game Grumps, I already knew about Egoraptor cause I originally started watching his cartoons in middle school (gimme that other L), and I thought Jon was funny in the GG videos so me and my ex started watching his channel.

GG and JT were a major part of my last 2 years of highschool and my early adulthood (and i discovered Pewdewpie after me and my ex watched some Tobuscus videos. Mail your L's to me at P.O BOX ISUCKASS-), then eventually we made a friend who also loved JonTron so we'd hangout and watch his videos over n over n over-, we'd notify each other when a new vid dropped, like it was an EVENT

Anyways, what I'm getting at here was I witnessed JonTron's downfall, I refused to watch that debate he was on cause I was stupid and influenced by stupid things, I almost fell down the gamergate pipeline until I saw people getting full mask off racist, and then I finally saw the debate..... hoo boy

I was in the "he was put on the spot! if he had more time to prepare he wouldn't have worded it like that!" boat until I saw this video. But at the time, I was still with my ex and around folks who still liked him and I just kinda ignored my feelings about how uncomfortable I was starting to feel with all that.

I wasn't a good person back then, I had bad taste, bad politics (i called myself a democrat lol), was in a bad situation, etc. I can't really pinpoint when I was started to get out of the mindsets me and my ex used to share cause it took a while in some cases like a lot of bad things I just kept being in denial about until I felt safe enough to look more into

but besides all that, before i came to that conclusion, i lowkey just thought his newer videos were getting kinda boring lol, like his new set sucked, i missed seeing his bird, too many guest stars, etc etc. Last video I watched was 4 years ago (I just checked his channel, I had to scroll a bit until I recognized a video thumbnail)

like i guess he did a good job at never really letting his politics bleed into his videos, at least none that i can remember (except maybe on Game Grumps, Arin Hanson too) so he's got that going i suppose?

I'm sure I still like some shitty people, especially from the newgrounds era but somehow it just feels different having something that's connected to a really bad time in your life and feeling like they got worse while you got better is just such a weird feeling. Not to brag or anything 😏i'm something of a..... SJW these days

(not really tho i know there's a lot more things i can get educated on and I understand I got more work to do and I want to be better and that's no ones job but my own)

anyways there's still some jokes of his that still make me laugh, or weird little things that are vocal stims but if anyone asks now I just say "I stole it and it's mine now" but tbh they're not as frequent as they used to so I guess they're getting out of my system.

idk where i was going but the video made me think a lot and made me realize i still suck as a person but not as bad as i did years ago and you know? im happy i've grown and they didn't, well I mean, I've grown as a person, they've grown as content creators I guess since they got more money than i do