Smokes U

Took 3 expired gift cards out of my wallet and now i can leap over tall buildings in a single bounce

my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. “your hot bread is done,” she says to me. disgusting

I want everyone who’s unearthed this after 5 years to reblog it and say “lmao me” to know that getting divorced from this person was one of the best decisions of my life

sometimes I wonder how y'all are obsessed with specific characters and I'm like "why them" but then I remember that sometimes its literally not your choice you just look at them wrong and all of a sudden they're taking up your every thought forever

before his naval career

If i ever met a person that listened to music i think I would kill them with my bare hands, no hesitation

my soft and comfortable mama

all roads lead to yuri. START WALKING

Let's kill him