yassen gregorovich. character of all time. he’s a contract killer. he’s babygirl. he makes no damn sense. compels me though

the alex rider series is crazy because it opens on a boy learning his only living relative is dead, an event which incites the plot and changes alex's life, and then for the rest of the series we learn negative information about ian and alex never gets to truly grieve him

the best thing a man can be is gay and suicidal and miserable and utterly unlikable and unpleasant to be around and prone to addiction and abused and traumatized and not breaking the cycle and

Being an evil doppelganger has to be so fucked up like imagine meeting a better version of yourself. Some chain of events going differently that led to "you" being a better person in a way you can never achieve. Personally I'd have no other option but to try and kill them

It's always "oh no my evil clone or twin or whatever is trying to kill me" and never How is my evil clone? Says a lot about society

my tumblr mutuals will take characters from media that is not very good & construct such rich & intricate inner worlds for them in their posts that i will go wow that sounds so compelling let me go check this out….& then the canon character will be like. relatively boring with very little interiority. but that’s okay because sometimes the real character is the one my tumblr mutuals hallucinated along the way….

going through alex rider tumblr is just like I Stand With My Cancelled Wife (ian rider)

alex rider is so awesome because I think too hard about it and get a nosebleed. like yeah it’s already a subversion of the child hero fantasy but it’s also a total narrative about avoiding grief. about being kept away from it. it’s about the support of denial as a reaction to death. Alex is never allowed to sit down and grieve for his uncle— he avoids having to think about Ian at all, and is never made to; he is proven right when he sticks to the belief that Jack is alive instead of having to deal with what it means if she isn’t. so what is alex rider but a story about grief? what is alex rider but a story about the incredible lengths a boy will go to to avoid having to grieve at all? what is alex rider but a boy who is unable to face reality and whose reality refuses to face him. all of the books and the paths alex travels are just metaphorical time loops, repetitive adventures where he cannot get back to reality. He can’t escape the cycle. He can’t help but return to it. The whole thing is just a testament to how far someone will go to avoid their grief. so like. how am I supposed to get past that.

the alex rider weird repressed obsession with older man chain famously goes Alex is obsessed with Yassen is obsessed with John but if you are innovative and insane enough and dare venture far beyond the frontiers of canon you can add another link: John being obsessed with Blunt

The worst part of Alex's life is of course the murder attempts. The second worst part is that half of the people trying to kill him wanted to fuck his dad

every hot girl is extremely loyal to the mediocre book series she read at age 11

Former living weapon absolutely dominating at laser tag