you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

never met a sentence i couldn't make incredibly long

is that a gun to the back of my head or are you just happy to see the back of my head?

love the phrase 'methinks'. me does think. thinketh me do.

new DB Cooper theory: he’s still falling

new DB Cooper theory: she’s still falling

the conversation was pleasant enough and we both had a nice chuckle but i saw you reload a save right before it. what did you do to me? what did you do?

”time heals all wounds” WRONG. it merely allows for infection.. it is Too late for me

fucked up in the club asking the dj to play flight of the bumblebee

sorry boss can't come in today i was on my way to work and then a gentle spring breeze kissed my cheek and reminded me it is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world

Can we stop with the character development. Where's my beach episode.

love wearing all black in public i hope no large gaseous heat emitting orb in the sky comes along and makes my day worse