green bella

Yesterday I visited a day spa with lots of sauna rituals (herbal infusions) and bathing in hot and cold water — it was quite nice! The keto diet is going well. I'm on my period now and I am happy for a moment.

I'm on a keto diet now.

I deep cleaned the bathroom (bathtub, toilet, sink, walls, floor), did my laundry, deep cleaned the kitchen (cupboards, stove, floor, dishes), cooked and ate, started doing my tax return (carried the heavy box with my folders full of documents three floors from the basement into my apartment), mediated for one hour, walked my dog two times and still feel like shit. I had to cry desperately at the end of and after my evening walk

Today I did some guided meditations, but I couldn't concentrate, my thoughts went on a journey or I fell asleep. I couldn't meditate while sitting because my whole body hurt. Even when laying down the pain continued. I got very bad at meditation. All I could think about was "ah I can't sit still, ah my leg hurts, ah my back hurts" and so on. I meditated for one hour straight. Do I feel better now? Hell no! Nothing makes me feel better, that's the tragedy. I'm going to take a shower and walk my dog now. Bye.

I'm slightly happy and excited because my boyfriend got a new job. He had been working as a hotel porter and now he's becoming the facility manager of an international company, which means more financial freedom for both of us. Also I'm proud of him.

I slept 10 hours last night but it was just one big nightmare. The kind of nightmare where you get buried alive and other fun things that felt pretty real. I woke up with a massive pain in my left ear and shoulder and the pain continued for half of the day. I need recovery from my sleep almost every day, isn't that strange? What happens to me at night besides nightmares and obviously bad sleeping positions?

Me and my boy stayed at a luxury eremitage "hotel" with a crazy concept: a small historical old town house with 6 floors just for ourselves. Check-in, check-out and breakfast required the housekeeper but besides that we were all alone there as "temporary owners" of the place. It's a small building with a big history but I don't want to spoil it here because it's a hidden gem and I feel like I have to gatekeep things more, and I don't want to share my exact locations online in this era... yes I'm kind of paranoid and naive at the same time because I'm already made of glass with all my online and offline presences, I know I know but shh shhh let me believe I could hide.

I hate my job and get half a panic attack every time the phone rings. So I'm the average adult now, yey great!