cathedral ward lyrium parties

several within in the Church and Choir are beginning to suspect the "poor" lad is getting caught on purpose…

Say hello to the Lord of the Crag and his lover Fio—the MCs in what will probably be my next release, Courting the Thorns (through who tf knows when).

Their story was originally very different, intended to be a novel with a far bigger scope that I immediately hit a wall with. Considering I mainly liked the beginning, I've been reworking that into a lil* erotic fairy tale for the sake of my sanity as I try to finish a graphic novel.

It's been a nice lil project to chip away at. I love Fio and her dynamic this himbo faery lord who lacks....so much tact, and don't worry, she makes sure he knows how much of a fool he is after scaring her half to death lol

[ocs: Morella and Dorothea]

I hate this shit with the power of the thousand suns. It's so bad. So, so bad, god, fuck, it makes me both upset, angry, and wheiejejdnswjehsksmemsnsisksnsnwinaisownfisjndsnsniwnshekamsjnsis!!!!!

Yeah.

I know I'm repeating myself , but this is important.

A BDSM scene is essentially a play-pretend, and a safe word is a direct way to communicate that the game should stop immediately.

A safe word is not a way to tease your partner or tell them that the scene is too good. It's a way to revoke consent or signal a boundary. It's equivalent to saying, "I don't want to play this game with you anymore."

If your partner wants to use their safe word multiple times, it means you're a shitty dom who can't read people's cues and a shitty person, who doesn't know how to communicate properly before or during the scene.

This whole dialogue–the lack of it actually–is extremely alarming. It's not good, Bull! It's bad! It's really bad! You're shit at communicating, understanding your partner, domming, and being a fuck buddy.

Notice how he avoids communicating what exactly this relationship would entail and refuses to clearly say that he would stop when Inky asks him about it directly? This screams future abuse! It's not romantic or sexy; it's scary!

Also this dialogue (thank you for the screenshot @andrewknightley ) is so dhdkejeiencdbss!!!!

A safe word isn't how you ask your partner to stop edging you, Trick, you stupid fucking dipshit! It's how you tell your partner to stop, release you, put away all toys, wrap you in a blanket, give you a cup of tea, apologize and communicate more thoroughly.

I'm not trying to be moralistic and tell anyone that they shouldn't enjoy Trick Weekes' "50 Shades of Bull" or whatever. I'm just saying that:

a. Whether knowingly or not, Trick described an abusive relationship in which one of the partners is constantly on the verge of revoking their consent, and this should be taken into account when discussing Iron Bull's romance, his character, and Trick Weekes as a writer.

I found his framing of it incredibly creepy, even if in practice it's just because they weren't going to design additional scenes for Inquisitors who would have said no/demanded switching.

The idea of "I'm doing it for you, because I know what's best for you, regardless of what you think or say" is really fucked up though, as is putting the additional pressure on using a safe word that bull does in those screen shots.

People don't necessarily think super clearly during sex and checking in with one's self and recognizing one's own boundaries can be incredibly difficult, if the Inquisitor also has to factor in "what would using my safe word do to this game I've got going on with Bull", they're a lot more likely to just push through situations they actually werent okay with.

He does that twice, actually.

The Inquisitor can ask him about switching, to which he says this:

So, yeah, he insists on being the dom in the relationship because that's what the Inquisitor needs.

Inky can disagree, and this won't end the relationship.

The message is very clear. Bull doesn't switch and Inky should accept that if they want to continue the relationship.

It all doesn't necessarily read as "I'm doing it for you, because I know what's best for you, regardless of what you think or say" to me because he immediately backs off when Inky tells him no (and Inky can end the romance in multiple scenes), but it's still BAD.

Bull is a shitty dom and a shitty person, who's convinced that he's the hottest piece of ass or dick; who cares in the entire Inquisition. Inky is a shitty sub and a dumbass. Neither of them knows what consent is or how to practice kink safely, and their entire romance looks like this:

It's dumb and cheesy, and it genuinely pisses me off how the fandom completely removes this context from Bull's romance.

Weekes wrote about an abusive relationship, but they had no idea they were doing it, imo. Things like Bull simply telling Inky what the safe word is instead of choosing it together illustrate this very well.

office romance