Grave Errors

Some people think in English, some people think in pictures, Marvin thought in memes.  

Taco Bell decided to make a waffle taco. Taco Bell plays god with tacos.  

Terrence had extreme difficulty deciding where the best place to misplace his anger was.  Reddit? The comments section on Jezebel? His cat?  It's a bitter moment when we re-realize that feeling overwhelmed is not a choice.

Jason assumed that his cat, Hazard, would get along with his friend's cat perfectly.

During her high school years, Zara was relentlessly bullied for an aspect to her physique that she could not help.  Later she wondered how anyone could have been as cruel as that. She did not understand that human beings have no innate flair for context.

The movie star Rex Albee pictured himself as a screaming, naked infant--shocked by the blunt trauma of a new world.  An infant who would have no clue that one day a perfect stranger would have a tattoo of his face somewhere on their body.  Suddenly, tears.

Bert spent hours in front of his computer screen for months trying to accrue Twitter followers.  Smirking in victory, he sat back as he received his 30,000th follower.  Elation turned to panic when it set in that he had absolutely nothing to promote.  

Source: m1cr0s0ft-dumpst3r

Sometimes when Janet was alone, she would pretend that she had dormant telekinetic power that she didn't know about because she hadn't tried to exercise them.  She'd stare at a pen on her desk to see if she could get it to roll away from her using only her mind.  When nothing would happen, she'd chuckle at herself and go about her day.  Now, sitting in this cave, this habit only served to frustrate her when the boulder trapping her leg let out nary a shudder.  

Ryan opted to closely follow rather than pass a total stranger on the street.  He feared coming off as impolite.

Maryanne felt that she could always fall back on her "Carrie Bradshaw" novelty twitter account.

When it came time to register Scott's domain--and, massivetitties.com was already taken--Scott finally understood the virtue of planning ahead.

Wade's childhood dream was to be a comic strip artist for a Newspaper.  Once he realized that he had no substantial understanding of slight misunderstandings, he was forced to abandon his dream and become an especially bitter ice cream man.

At the exact moment the baby was crowning, Dr. Chase Riffle (OBGYN) asked, "Is someone eating McDonald's?"  No one was eating McDonald's.