i want out i want out i want out i don't want to see a psychologist that sees people like me as under them and is a mandated fucking reporter i don't want to tell anyone anything i don't want to be made to be normal because i'm not and that would just be faking i want to be alone. okay? okay? i'm going to wait this fucking shit out and i'm going get out of this godforsaken place and then we can go from there. every time they try to talk to me it's the same thing, the same fucking thing over and over and over. there is no way out of here but through. i'm not going to see a fucking doctor. i am not going to be homeschooled because i can't stay home all day because if i stay in my room all day i'll go insane and if i don't i'll have to see mother, who makes each conversation feel awful and makes me feel like an awful person just for bloody fucking existing and drips poisoned sweetness anytime she isn't furious and yelling, and she'll drive me insane. there is no safe place that can be stayed in indefinitely. i don't have that. i'm not lucky enough to have that and you don't fucking get it, you piece of shit, fuck off fuck off FUCK OFF LEAVE ME ALONE