Hero: When you said “magical in bed” this wasn’t exactly what I expec-
Mesmer: *holds up ace of hearts* Is this your card?
Hero: [softly] holy shit
Mike Driver
RMH
YOU ARE THE REASON

★
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ojovivo
Not today Justin
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@grapeslury
Hero: When you said “magical in bed” this wasn’t exactly what I expec-
Mesmer: *holds up ace of hearts* Is this your card?
Hero: [softly] holy shit

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Host: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.
Hero: I did. I broke it-
Host: No, no you didn’t. Luna?
Luna: Don’t look at me. Look at Orlok.
Orlok: What? I didn’t break it.
Luna: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
Orlok: Because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken.
Luna: Suspicious…
Orlok: No, it’s not!
Mesmer: If it matters - probably not, but - Hat Trick was the last one to use it.
Hat Trick: *gasp* Liar, I don’t even drink that crap!
Mesmer: Oh, really? Then what were you doing around the coffee cart earlier?
Hat Trick: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that, Mesmer!
Hero: Okay, okay, let’s not fight, I broke it, let me pay for it, Host.
Host: No. Who broke it?
Everyone: …
Prototype: Host, Six has been awfully quiet-
Six: Really?!
Prototype: Yeah, really-
Six: Oh my word-
Everyone: *angry bickering*
…
Host: *in another room* I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. *turns around and smiles* Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Luna: Fuck, marry, kill: me, Mesmer and Hat Trick.
Hero: Fuck Hat Trick, marry Mesmer, kill Host.
Host: I wasn't even one of the options!
Hero: You’re cute, but selfish and narcissistic to the point of near-delusion.
Host:
Host: She called me cute.
Six: *sneezes*
Luna: Ooh, Six is dabbin
Six: I’m not. I have the fucking cold.
Luna: Watch em, they're gonna do it again.
Six: *sneezes*
Luna: Hit it, Six. Hit it.

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Mesmer: How's the most beautiful person in the world doing?
Hero: I don't know, how are yo-
Host, from across the room: I'm great, thanks
your last words before you die are the 3rd line of the last song you listened to. what are we saying ladies?
I’ll break your pretty face
Oh my God, I felt so dumb, lucky me
(Yeah seems realistic)
Sing me a song, tell me your thoughts
*stardew valley music*
“We listen to the tales and romanticize
How we’d follow the path of the hero
Boast about the day when the rivers overrun
How we rise to the height of our halo”
10,000 Days by Tool
“I can’t control myself because I don’t know how”
That’s incredibly fucking accurate
“If I were you I’d be throwing up,”
Oh god
Thanks for giving me flashbacks I just wanted to know your dick size
Oh you’re welcome.
I love you
How big is your penis
Okay but. A better question.
Ahem...
The Fitness Gram™ Pacer Test
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start.
The Fitness Gram™ Pacer Test
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start.
The Fitness Gram™ Pacer Test
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start.
The Fitness Gram™ Pacer Test
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start.
The Fitness Gram™ Pacer Test
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start.
The Fitness Gram™ Pacer Test
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start.
You know how big it is you assmunch your my husband.
LOL people eat pop tarts?
nah i just lay my toaster sideways on the counter with the trash can in front so whenever the pop tart is done it goes straight in the garbage. saves me a lot of time but not money

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Work.
Work.
So like. Y’all ever just. Wanna make a whole ask blog but like. You know. You KNOW you’re going to lose interest or nobody is gonna be interested lol.
👉👈😗 cuz same
me holding my pet up to a mirror: look it’s you :]
my pet:
a 90’s kid? don’t you mean sad adult?
70,000 people have reblogged this but no one is trying to defend themselves
where is the lie
When you fall in love with a song then find a cover that is even better
👌

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
everyone asking me what my ideal future plans are and i have to pretend like the answer isn't living in animal crossing where my next door neighbor is a puppy wearing a sweater vest & i can earn a feasible living selling fruit & working in a cafe owned by a pigeon
Ah you’re watching sailor moon? I love that anime. The way they just [clenches fist] sail all those fricking moons
Yeah, those moons man