Trans-human(ist)

Some of you can’t accept the fact that the right-wing is mobilizing to seize control and eliminate us. Many of their political leaders are stating it openly on social media.

Like a can of biscuits

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The biggest misconception people have about the community surrounding romance novels in the 1990s, is that people were unironically into Fabio. Romance novel readers were always savvier and more ironic and smartassed and “in on the joke” than people realized or gave them credit for being. Romance readers thought of Fabio with the same affection that Generation X has for Gary Coleman, or how comic book fans have for Adam West: a strange mixture of ironic appreciation and sincere delight for his cheeseball ways and campy goofball antics.

To be clear, Romance novel fans were “in on the joke” with Fabio in a way the greater culture didn’t realize, and they were, for the most part, pretending that Fabio, this Italian demigod who was 6’3” but who nonetheless acted and sounded like Tommy Wiseau, was the most handsome man in the world and the ultimate lover.

Whenever Fabio made the news for things like ramming into a duck at full speed on the inaugural ride of a roller coaster surrounded by women dressed as Greek goddesses (yes, this happened), the Romance novel fanzines treated it with a near avuncular “hey guys, guess what our favorite goof uncle is up to, now.” Likewise, the response to the “Fabio-written” novels was very much like the response to those KFC-promotion novels where Colonel Sanders is a stud lover, more like a “ha ha, can you believe this is a thing?” 

The Adam West comparison to Fabio is especially good because it shows how appreciation can sometimes be this weird mixture of sincere and ironic. Adam West’s antics made me groan sometimes, but I’m sorry to say I never met him, and if I did, I would shake his hand. I laugh at Adam West, but I like him. Other people in this weird zone would probably include Shatner and David Hasselhoff. Adam West is my hero, and someone I chuckle at affectionately simultaneously (the Batman the Animated Series episode guest starring the Grey Ghost played by Adam West, where Batman said “I used to watch you with my father, you were my hero. And you still are” brings me to manly tears).

The comparison between Adam West and Fabio gets stronger when you consider that a lot of romance novel fans who were deeply insecure about their hobby (all the girls in black who read romance novels, in other words), hated Fabio with disproportionate and unearned intensity and were embarrassed he was the symbol of this entire genre, the same way the more insecure and pseudo-intellectual comic fans get mad at the 1960s Batman show.

Another person I would compare Fabio to would be Brendan Fraser, who is a big goof but who ladies are unironically thirsty for because he’s gorgeous and brawny, and the fact he’s a beautiful cornball is actually a part of the appeal. Again, the taste for Fabio was a mix of ironic and sincere, to the point you no longer know which end is up. Yeah, I said that romance novel readers were in on the joke and people didn’t “really” think he was a God of Love or the World’s Greatest Lover, but nonetheless, there was lots of thirst for Fabio, because a lot of girls, fully aware of his cheesiness, thought his muscles and long hair were cool, and being his girl would actually be neat and probably a lot of fun…though you’d have to hold back a laugh when he’s on the bed with a rose between his teeth, that bizarre version of human sexuality.

The story of Fabio is actually kind of interesting. Fabio did the Steve Holland or Lynde route and modeled for covers, and not all of them were romance, incidentally. He was Tarzan a bunch of times, and Casca, the Eternal Warrior, too. Eventually, he posed for a few hundred before Romance Times, in 1990, did an inquiry on who the heck this ubiquitous cover model was. The person who discovered her was superfan Kathryn Falk, essentially the Bjo Trimble of romance novels, and who founded the first Romance Novel conventions in 1982.

(That reminds me, one of these days, I have to write about Romance Novel conventions because it is far far more insane than it looks.)

No no no no no no. 

Sit down we must have a conversation.

There were 6 Celtic nations.

Éire, Cymru, Alba, Kernow, Breizh, and Ellan Vannin.

Ireland, Wales, Scotland, Cornwall, Brittany, and the Isle of Mann respectively.

They’re all related, but not the same. They all have different languages descended from a similar group, Irish (Gaeilge), Scottish (Gàidhlig), Manx (Gaelg), Welsh (Cymraeg), Cornish (Kernowek), and Breton (Brezhoneg). Some are more widely spoken than others, for example Welsh is still commonly spoken in Wales, whereas hearing Cornish in Cornwall instead of English is rare.  All Celtic nations have varied mythology and culture. Irish Mythology is different from Breton Mythology, and even Welsh and Cornish mythology (arguably the most related Celtic Nations) have subtle differences to each other. I wish I could add more about the cultures at this time but my knowledge of Celtic nations is primarily made up of the history and languages of those regions, particularly Cornwall. 

You might have notice that England and English are missing from this, because the English descended from Anglo-Saxons, who were German invaders that came to the isles right around the Fall of the Roman empire in the 5th Century, erasing the Celtic influence in what is now England. 

BBC: Where is the seventh Celtic nation? Spain Then and Now: The Celts in Spain Journal of Interdisciplinary Celtic Studies: Celtic Legacy in Galicia University of Pennsylvania Museum: The Modern Celts of Northern Spain

Some behind the scenes pics of me turning into a Christmas doe. ✨

Magical Negro  (2019)

Magical Negro is an archive of black everydayness, a catalog of contemporary folk heroes, an ethnography of ancestral grief, and an inventory of figureheads, idioms, and customs. These American poems are both elegy and jive, joke and declaration, songs of congregation and self-conception. They connect themes of loneliness, displacement, grief, ancestral trauma, and objectification, while exploring and troubling tropes and stereotypes of Black Americans. Focused primarily on depictions of black womanhood alongside personal narratives, the collection tackles interior and exterior politics―of both the body and society, of both the individual and the collective experience. In Magical Negro, Parker creates a space of witness, of airing grievances, of pointing out patterns. In these poems are living documents, pleas, latent traumas, inside jokes, and unspoken anxieties situated as firmly in the past as in the present―timeless black melancholies and triumphs.

by Morgan Parker (Author)

Get it here

Morgan Parker is the author of There Are More Beautiful Things Than Beyoncé (Tin House Books 2017), Other People’s Comfort Keeps Me Up At Night (Switchback Books 2015), and the forthcoming poetry collection Magical Negro (Tin House, 2/5/19). Her debut young adult novel Who Put This Song On? is forthcoming from Delacorte Press in late 2019, and her debut book of nonfiction will be released in 2020 by One World. Parker received her Bachelors in Anthropology and Creative Writing from Columbia University and her MFA in Poetry from NYU. Her poetry and essays have been published and anthologized in numerous publications, including The Paris Review, The BreakBeat Poets: New American Poetry in the Age of Hip-Hop, Best American Poetry 2016, The New York Times, and The Nation. Parker is the recipient of a 2017 National Endowment for the Arts Literature Fellowship, winner of a 2016 Pushcart Prize, and a Cave Canem graduate fellow. She is the creator and host of Reparations, Live! at the Ace Hotel. With Tommy Pico, she co-curates the Poets With Attitude (PWA) reading series, and with Angel Nafis, she is The Other Black Girl Collective. She is a Sagittarius, and she lives in Los Angeles.