*Caws at you loudly while you try to eat outside*

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

sometimes your distress does indicate you should stop and respect your limitations. at other times it's more of a baby aquatic mammal being introduced to water for the first time thing. Too bad the difference is so hard to tell.

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

hate when im reading and theres a word i dont know so i search it in the dictionary and its like: beuperer. noun. a person who beupers. i'll fucking kill you

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

little bit of advice: if you can't tell if a post online is a joke, you should always assume that it is not a joke and the op is either an idiot with an inflated ego or is lying on purpose for malicious reasons. in both cases the best course of action is to aggressively correct them and insult them, maybe even threaten to kill them

pitch for my new tarot card “Me And The Bestieee”

as a vaporeon your only mission in life is to slap your biiiiiiiig damn tail and splash around

as a flareon your only mission in life around is to be fluffy and have an awesome attack stat

as a jolteon your only mission in life is to run around super fuckin fast and be spikey and cool

as an umbreon your only mission on life is to glow and lurch around and go "rrrreaerrr" and stare at stuff with your red eyes

as an espeon your only mission in life is to hear a whole lotta stuff with your big ears and make stuff float and bask in the sun

as a leafeon your only mission in life is to have dope defenses and go around in forests and be cool and green

as a glaceon your only mission in life is to walk around graciously in the cold and lay comfortably in the snow

as a sylveon your only mission in life is to go around joyously and hold onto stuff with your big ribbons and go "(whistling sound)"