simpin on gin and juice

Thinking about how when you’re a child your mother is Your Mother but when you look back on childhood she is like… a relatively young woman. With a child

my ultimate fantasy is having a brain that lets me enjoy being alive

each day is like a franz kafka diary entry and each month is like the twilight circle camera scene

long overdue for a scream in the woods

hannibal’s name rhyming with cannibal is like vague enough to be a coincidence but he’s also a fancy chef who always serves organ meat and/or raw meat dishes that exactly line up with whatever body part disappeared from the FBI’s most recent batch of bodies, and he serves it to the FBI, who doesn’t notice

Who’s the biggest weed dealer in Baltimore? I have to consult my friend Hannibis Lecter, the renowned gardener

Someone keeps running people over! better talk to my buddy Hehicular Hanslaugher Lecter, the world-famous racecar driver

i genuinely did not remember how fucked up the plot of robots (2005) was like. rich robot capitalists stop manufacturing certain parts to cause poor robots to become obsolete so they can be melted down and their metal remains used to create more high end products in the name of profit like wow thats genuinely horrifying for a movie whos target audience was mainly 8 year olds

this is the same movie that has a character with an ass thats twice the size of her body

And it was a cinematic masterpiece

and it was a cinematic masterpiece

wait babe before we move on i need to break every barrel in this room to check for hidden items

the fact that people dont consider game of thrones as “cringey” of a show as doctor who or sherlock is literally just because of how many men are obsessed with it. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

*dog.exe has stopped working*

Gender discourse will continue to flounder in mindless squabbling because we refuse to accept that the pinnacle of masculine performance is when a pizza chef spins the dough in the air