Hello. I'm Catholic and I've recently accepted that I'm a lesbian. How do you justify homosexuality with Church teaching? Do you believe that maybe the Church will change the doctrine on it? I'm not sure what sort of doctrine it's considered but I know dogma and definite doctrine can't change. I'm scared and confused. I don't really know what to do. Thank you and God bless.
Hello <3 Thank you so much for reaching out. Know that you are loved and that you are allowed to feel doubt and that it is normal to feel afraid. You do not need to be, it will be okay and things will get better.
I will give you the advice I wish someone had given to me when I was struggling with my identity: You do not need the apologetics as much as you think you do. They exist, and they are valid, and I will link to resources and books and texts. But you do not need theology to validate your existence and affirm your dignity. You, your existence and your joy, are proof enough of a God that loves queer people.
Know the Doctrine will probably not change within our lifetimes, but also know that it does not matter as much as they tell us it does.
Our lived experiences are worth a thousand theological treaties. I think that's the most important thing you can do is find testimonials, find other queer Catholics and queer Christians, find your community. Hear their stories, and that'll help you see how much goodness and love and tenderness there is ahead of you.
Here are some resources that helped me/I have found recently and I think are very useful.
The Whiplash Podcast / newsletter by Maxwell Kuzma and Emma Cieslik. Max and Emma are dear friends of mine, and they are both devout queer catholics that have an amazing podcast and resource. I recommend you start with this video / episode titled "Debunking Catholic Claims about Queer People."
Vine & Fig. They are no longer active, but their videos are still up and are very beautiful. I recommend "God thought you'd like being queer."
That Theology Teacher. A queer theology professor making queer-affirming and accessible theology content. He's not as active as he used to be, but his videos were very instrumental to me. "Queering the Infancy Narratives" is a video I used to go back to often.
For books, you could look into:
"Hidden Mercy: Aids, Catholics, and the Untold Stories of Compassion in the Face of Fear" by Michael J. O'Loughlin
"Spirituality, Liberation, and the Stories That Make Us" by Cole Arthur Riley
"You Can, If You Want To: Navigating Christian Faith, Conscience, and Matters LGBTQ+" by Fr. James Alison
"Faith Beyond Resentment: Fragments Catholic and Gay" by Fr. James Alison
"God Didn't Make Us To Hate Us" by Rev. Lizzie McManus-Dail
Other than that, you can look into Catholic organizations like 'New Ways Ministry' and 'Outreach'.
I'm sorry this is not a straightforward answer, but I hope you can find solace in these resources. Remember that your process through this is yours. Don't feel like you have to forsake your religion and your relationship with God, because you don't. God loves you just as you are, not in spite of anything, but because of all that you were, are and will be. But also, know it's perfectly normal and alright to take a second and assess everything you are feeling and experiencing. God will not be angry at you for any sort of upset or doubt you might feel.
You are so loved. Truly. Do not let anything or anyone make you think otherwise.
And in the words of Julian of Norwich, I tell you that "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well." It gets better, it gets more peaceful, it gets quieter, it gets more joyful, it gets so so so much better. Trust me.
I will be praying for you!!!
P.S. I encourage all of my queer Catholic/Christian/Religious friends to leave any other resources in the reblogs and comments.