messy

What I found funny was that, at times, when I was confused about the actions of either the 2nd ML or his childhood friend, the rest of the friend group (mainly the girls) looked just as confused as me. Aside from that, I don't have much to say about the drama, yet. But I guess I'll be kicking my feet (literally and figuratively) when I get to the moment where romance starts. I didn't look up any spoilers which is unlike me, but nothing that would make me look for spoilers happened yet, so I can't say I actually tried to avoid them. I'll try to stay strong and not spoil anything for myself later hahah

Yesterday I started playing Kingdom Come: Deliverance and oh lord if I knew how frustrating, annoying, and stress-inducing this game is, I'd never touch it. First, I died a few times when I had to run away. I was so overstimulated and overwhelmed that I literally cried, I couldn't understand what was going on and what I was supposed to do. Why the hell objective "Save Theresa" show up without any explanation? Only after I checked the forums did I realize that whistling made these scumbags go after me, which meant "saving her". But that's not all of my problems. After managing to somehow not die even before I got on the horse (after like 3 tries), I arrived in Talmberk without dying, also not an idea how. Now I have to get out of this excuse of a city and it's just another thing that made me so freaking frustrated, I got a headache. I'm not patient, persistent, nor am I skilled in gaming. And on top of that, I'm playing on Switch. I checked a KCD wiki site because this game, at least for me, tells almost nothing about what I am supposed to do next. I feel like devs did a very poor job on the tutorials and explanations. Historical accuracy this and that, but it's too sparse in terms of guidance, the explanations are too vague, and overall experience when I had a new objective was overtaken by the question "what the hell am I supposed to do and how to not mess up along the way?"

YG was not exactly what I thought it would be, and after some spoilers here and there, I just... dropped it. I should stop spoiling myself so much because if I know what will happen, I tend to lose interest more easily.

LoZH, on the other hand, was put on hold just because I wanted to find something new (I didn't find anything besides a few good manhwas, but that's for later). I spoiled myself one of two/three major mysteries of the drama, and I swear, I did it on accident. I wanted to have a rough idea of one of the subplots – I'm usually content with just watching a few tiktok edits of said drama and not focusing much on what happened in them. That's exactly what I did, except for the fact that I saw a major spoiler. I wasn't even that interested in this particular mystery, but for some reason, it stuck in my mind, and thus, I remembered it. At least it's not something that will make me drop the drama. It's just on hold. I promise.

update 2 because I forgot to post this post, and I came back to it like a week later: I'm slowly watching LoZH, enjoying it slowly. This drama isn't holding me in captive like some of my favorites did, but I will still finish it, just slower than usual.

Moving on to the manhwas, because there's some fun here too:

Saving My Sweetheart – lovely, with a great story and beautiful art. Devoted ML and smart, equally devoted MC, and I thought I couldn't ask for more... but there was also great character growth, and it was not only for the main characters.

When Jasy Whistles – this. this was majestic. I never had any interest in Paraguayan culture or mythology, but there I was, devouring this webtoon like it's a peace of the most delicious cake I've ever had. Character growth and the story are complex and beautifully done, and art gets only better, and characters become more mesmerizing every season. It dives into topics like emotions and life purposes, and every major character has some heart-wrenching backstory (I just wanted to give a hug to most of Jasy's brothers, as well as Jasy and Hela, of course). And the cherry on top? The contrast in appearance between the main characters – Jasy (ML) with long blonde hair (that stays long for the whole webtoon), with pale light skin, and Hela (MC/FL) with her long, brown curls and brown, warm skin. Perfect.

Iseop's Romance – classic chaebol/poor girl trope with typical "the smartest duo" pairing, but I never cared about those clichés. How could I when the art is so stunningly done, and the story is still captivating despite the overused tropes? Am I hoping it will be turned into a K-drama? With all of my heart. I don't know who I'd cast as the main leads, but in webtoon kdrama adaptations, they usually care for at least a bit of resemblance to the webtoon. I think I would be content with anyone who could do justice to the chemistry this duo has.

Author of my own destiny – the art?? The devotion and longing??? The father-daughter trope???? Ugh, I wish I could forget it and read it again.

Villainess turns the hourglass – this was a good read, a bit of a change, because MC is actually a villainess and not some supposedly evil character that happened to fall into a pond of glitter. And with this one, it was actually re-read. I didn't realize it until almost the end of the manhwa, but in my defense – I read it some time ago, when it was probably only translated by fans.

The Villainess Flips The Script – this was just such an lovely story. I realized early on that I've read it already 2 or 3 years ago, but I never finished it. Still, it was enjoyable and the art was gorgeous. And the plot twists about the MC, her nephew and her family on top of that? Great. Not the biggest surprise of the year or even a month, but I'm no detective, so I was still not expecting them.

I'd love to add Secret Lady and Under the Oak Tree. I came back to them, but I put them on hold after refreshing my memory. One could hope that after around 4 years, these manhwas would be finished, but no... So, in order to not get hurt by the pain of waiting without any chapter to read, I put both of them on hold. I'm gaslighting myself into thinking that I left these manhwas on my own, when my curiosity didn't get the better of me yet. But I have to admit, it was a close call. Especially when it comes to Secret Lady. The art is delicious (figuratively and almost literally, if you know what I mean).

I'm currently reading two finished manhwas, but something isn't clicking there. It's probably because the ones I usually read are a bit over 100 episodes/chapters at most, but those two have over 200 chapters. One is The Villainess Lives Again. I'm almost halfway, and I'll probably resume reading it soon. Second is Charlotte and her 5 disciples. I'm hoping the pace will speed up, just a little bit, at least. Otherwise, I'll probably drop it :/

That's all. Instead of watching dramas, I'm sticking to the manhwas, at least for now. I started watching Feud, but I'm not sure yet if I'll watch it till the end. I'd like to, because I like both of the actors that play the main leads.

side note/update 2: I'm not watching Feud anymore. It's just not it for some reason..

After my recent post about the drama slump, I put the rewatch of "Extraordinary Attorney Woo" on hold and tried watching Fireworks of My Heart. Despite liking both leading actors, I left it even before anything special happened, about 3rd episode. It just didn't grab my attention, I'm not sure why. I had a great time rewatching You Are My Secret (I think I really have a thing for main leads being connected to marriage early on in the drama, haha). I just skipped all the scenes of the second couple (FL's bestie and bestie's ex), I didn't like their relationship the first time I watched the drama, so I thought it's about time I try to just skip the scenes. I didn't skip any scenes when the second couple was apart from each other or, for example, when it was just FL and her bestie.

After this nice rewatch, I watched The Best Day of My Life and really enjoyed it. Honestly, my only complaint was FL's hairstyle. And since it had fewer episodes than usual C-dramas, I went looking for... short-lenght Cdramas. Yeah, I know.

This was like a watching spree. Grab your love (I liked the FL so much!), Love on the Edge of Divorce was a totally crazy mess, but I still watched it and enjoyed it, I dropped The Revenge of Begonia at 6th episode (it didn't grab my attention) but I enjoyed Marry Me Again despite plot being ridiculous at times (I also liked ML actor more here than in LotEoD). After that, I fell in love with Romantic - Love Strikes Back. ML reminded me of a tiny bit of Tan Jian Ci, so it was even better, haha. After that I watched the 1st season of The Only Girl You Haven't Seen but lost interest at the beginning of the second season (which is weird because my beloved trope of married leads scheming together just started, but I got bored).

Then I went back to reading manhwa, and it was great as well. Mostly.

I loved The Red Knight Seeks No Reward, Marriage of Convenience, I Stole the Number One Ranker's Soul and Your Eternal Lies.

Then I moved to the novels. A Chinese novel, to be exact. Chasing Jade – I'm definitely coming back to it, but I felt like FL never could get a break, and I got to the 67th episode in just a few days of reading.

Now I'm wondering if I should start watching two ongoing C-dramas – Youthful Glory and Legend of Zang Hai. Both have quite interesting premises, but I'll probably put the latter away until all episodes are out, as it seems it has tense vibes and is full of mysteries.

When I was a teenager, I devoured those toxic, naughty romance books. The classic smuts, bad boy-good girl type. My taste probably formed in my wattpad era, short-lived, but definitely memorable...

Now, when I look back on this type of book, or I find a new one that has a similar story, I think to myself – if I'll ever write romance, let it not be like this one. I had a dream of writing my own novel or at least a short story for a long time, even before I started reading on wattpad. My first story was just a copy-paste of my favorite childhood book about a kitty found in a stud farm (? is that the right word)... yeah, and my copy-pasted version? About a puppy that is found on a stud farm. Very original and innovative, I know. Then, I tried to write about a world that was kinda post-apocalyptic where MC and her best friend were beaten by a genetically mutated pig. It made them invisible. Of course, MC's friend's dad was a scientist and he was supposed to find a cure or something like that. The story stopped right there...

Then I had my fanfiction era, where I tried my best in fanfiction about Soy Luna. Calling it a disaster would be mean to any disaster that ever happened. But I remember having lots of fun while writing this fic. After that, there were a few stories that I started, but I abandoned them quickly after. Maybe that's for the best, because coming back to them a few years later, I was surprised how on earth I wrote something so... tasteless. For example, another fanfiction where male MC is the CEO of a fashion brand, of course, the founder of the company, was his grandfather and of course the MC was no one else but Harry Styles himself. Of course, the rest of the 1D was his best buddies, and obviously, the MC would meet him accidentally because of mishap in the job applications for his new assistant. Cliché? Wait for another one. In another story with Harry as the male lead, the female lead was his high-school love. 1D made it big, and for some unknown (to me, as well) reason, Harry decided to reach out to our female MC years later.

Yeah. Not happening.

I also had many ideas for fantasy stories. It's just that I never finished even the first draft of any of these stories. Maybe if I was more persistent, I'd have at least one draft in my drawer. It would probably be horrible, but I would still have one finished draft.

The only story I wrote and finished was a one-shot I wrote for my middle school assignment. It's painful to read now, as it was dark themed – each month the death was saving one person who tried to unalive themselves. However, I still like the overall idea, and I still have this story somewhere... hidden. Maybe I'll rewrite it someday.

I get easily inspired, but it's even easier to lose interest in my own ideas.

I just rewatched the 2nd and 3rd season of Dr Romantic. Way before that, I fell in love with Si Jin and Undercover High-school, I went through a serious argument with my mom while watching Melo Movie so... I got my heart broken a little when I heard FL's mom apologize to the FL. Then I decided I needed some medicine for my heart, and what's better than an amazing drama I didn't rewatch yet, but I'm sure it's rewatch worthy? Two seasons of that said drama. And now I'm here. I started rewatching Extraordinary Attorney Woo yesterday because this was also a drama I loved, with the right amount of chaotic order and orderly chaos (just like Dr Romantic).

However, I have to admit, I'm starting to miss Chinese dramas after this K-drama rewatch streak I did randomly.

The worst part? I think I've found my favorite type and tropes in Cdramas, especially the costume/historical ones, but it's hard to find new dramas with these requirements, and I can't rewatch again the two dramas because of which I created these requirements.

What I need, you may ask? Well, first of all, affectionate leads that can kiss. If this isn't the case, even if the rest of the points are there, I may not be that interested. Secondly, show me the leads as the Married Power Couple. No weddings at the end or even worse, in the bonus episode. I need ML and FL to get married, at least a few episodes before the ending. Let me see them together in action!! And last but most definitely not least, if it isn't Happy Ending, no matter how good the drama is, you can't convince me to watch it. I need them both alive and well.

Of course, there are also obvious aspects like strong FL, greenflag ML, no damsel in distress, two adults actually communicating, problems, and misunderstandings resolved together. I realized that I don't mind a bit crazy side character in love with one of the leads (I'm looking at you, daughter of Royal Princess in Si Jin) or opposing in-laws (Yeah, it's about you, mother of the ML in Are You The One), or parents being literally a villain (ya know I had to mention you, Duke-excuse-of-a-father, Blossom). Same with court politics, none of it will bother me as long as I can see enough of main leads in love and scheming together.

I was hoping The Glory would be up to par with Blossom, Are You The One and Si Jin, but it definitely felt too flat in the second half of the drama. Maybe not my cup of the theme, tropes, or whatever it was, as the main leads weren't the best at cooperation for some time even after their marriage. Understandable, considering their past experiences, but I was hoping for some more romance, even if it could be a bit toxic. Also, I love that it had HE, but I think ending scenes that included already dead characters was a bit too much. I was hoping it would be just a glimpse of them, not the whole ending...

(update after X days because I didn't finish writing this post)

After what felt like an eternity, I decided to try watching something else entirely. For example, a rewatch of animated TV show I once l loved. And then I found out it has two new seasons!! That's how I rewatched the 1st season, watched the whole 2nd season, and stopped at 3rd season of Legend of Vox Machina. I developed a strong desire to try to play in D&D, I even watched some yt videos about what should I know about this game, but that's for another time. I stopped watching the 3rd season because it seems like there will be more, but the 4th season was announced only last year without any specific dates.

If not Legend of Vox Machina, then what else should I watch? Well, I was having a great time with animated TV shows that are also labeled as adult animation. You know, swearing, guts, and blood all over the place, dirty humor and similar stuff. I watched one episode of Blue Eyed Samurai, and while I loved the animation, art style, and how the story was looking so far, it felt a bit slow compared to LoVM. It's probably because episode duration was 1h long. So today I tried something else – this time I just checked out series that were recommended in sense "if you liked vox machina, you'll probably like this too" and that's how I ended up watching two episodes of Dota - Dragon's Blood. It looks promising, and episodes are around 30 minutes long, so that's also good.

So, the post is from AITH, and I usually really like posts from there, as well as the comments. Especially the ones that go with my values and experiences because I tend to relate to them. But there are also some posts that just make my mind blow up in confusion, like the one I just read.

20 year old girl has a 26 year old fiancé and they have been together for 2 years. That's the first concerning thing for me. They started dating when she was only 18. He was 24. I'm freaking 22, and when I see 18 year old boys, my "auntie mode" turns on – ohh, hello buddy, wanna have a lollipop? Come on, auntie will tell you a story about stupid things she did at your age.

That's the vibe. I know 18 in most of the countries means you're legally adult, responsible for your own actions, and you'll be held accountable for them. But that doesn't mean that an 18 year old is an emotionally mature, independent person. There's still so much room and time for growth, and the brain still isn't fully developed.

But okay, moving on to the story. So the OP felt violated and confused by what her fiancé did to her. She saves herself after marriage, and he supposedly was supportive of that, but that night, he started touching her and wanted to force her to get on her knees for him. He basically grabbed her and pushed her to the floor, she had to do it. I felt so bad for this girl when I read it.

She was wondering if she should tell her parents about this situation.

People basically filled the comment section with nothing but explanations, support and advice that she should tell her parents about it and leave her fiancé.

The update? Her mom was upset for her, supportive and validated her feelings, however, she also explained some things to her that OP thought should be kept private "It made sense, though".

It's devastating. To see a young woman become a pray for the abuser, to see religion taking part in this process. This is just the beginning, this excuse of a man won't change. He may not come back to his ways at first, but when he'll be sure she won't be able to leave him for some reason (for example financial dependency – possible, considering the dynamics and connecting the dots with religious beliefs), he will. He will become much, much worse.