yippee hooray

my digital footprint is a clown shoe I fear

my son Scruples has every disease

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

hot weather’s got you feeling down? a glassful of iced broccoli juice is just what you need

someone just pulled up to this gas station in a dr pepper themed motorcycle

The doctor is in

| :/ | That’s me falling toward a spike | | pit, with kind of an air of irritation |↑↑↑↑↑↑| about it. Sighh

Hope whoever did this is rotting behind bars

im in incredibly health driving my stick shift toyota corolla at this moment

steps into a big pot of bubbling oil and sits there like its a hot tub and i snile at you so nicely that you step in after me and youre immediately boiled til theres nothing left

I make fun of coffee drinkers for being physically addicted to and dependent on badbreath bitterdrink but when i dont have my morning tea i feel like a mentally ill caveman about to do something bad.

you’re all gonna love me for slamming cans of mango monster in the morning

^ the jittering trembler

^ The nefarious anglerfish