yippee hooray

my digital footprint is a clown shoe I fear

notice that no one on MTV Cribs has an emergency eyewash station

My coworkers think I’m soooooo craaazy omg you’re so out there! But truly I’ve just internalized a very tumblr style of humor where given a normal conversation with an opening for comedy I’m always going to select the most absurdist possible dialogue option and then stick to it forever as a bit.

Hate when I'm trying to find my luggage at the baggage claim but they all look the same. Many such cases.

yeah yeah youre just jealous of my heat-resistant spores

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

your number one priority should be your tumblr mutual. your second priority nothing. there is nothing else

can't believe we've all been here since we were 14 and now we're all 20000 years old

plany off time is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have

youre gonna love this bro. its called settings