yippee hooray

my digital footprint is a clown shoe I fear

Stop, drop, and roll also works when you are wet. It sort of spreads the water over the floor

chinese restaurant names are so sick. "new golden emperor restaurant". i'm listening

shawty's like a malady in my head

notice that no one on MTV Cribs has an emergency eyewash station

My coworkers think I’m soooooo craaazy omg you’re so out there! But truly I’ve just internalized a very tumblr style of humor where given a normal conversation with an opening for comedy I’m always going to select the most absurdist possible dialogue option and then stick to it forever as a bit.

Hate when I'm trying to find my luggage at the baggage claim but they all look the same. Many such cases.