boys like it when you imprison them in the ornate birdcage that hangs in the centre of your lair

it doesn't have to get done, it just has to be perfect

i wish there was an animal that could see radio waves so I could transmit that i love them and every one on earth would know it

i would randomly broadcast the growling of their natural predator so theyre freaked the fuck out all the time

who the fuck are you

If I was a knight would you let me swear oaths to you be honest

Pleaaase bro just let me be your blade

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

when the dude with no health says "spawn monsters"

we’ll see who’s laughing about outdated tumblr prose in 2029 when the average micro-influencer genre novel opens with like “first of;all i am not doing well And i might go away soon”

i'll always meet someone described as not friendly, and it's just a person who doesn't smile or talk a lot unwarranted. I feel like I have to continuously explain to people that this is not inherently hostile behavior

we prefer to call it the Stanford prison experience

Ezcuse me ladies everything you just said about wile e coyote being a cocksucking faggot and being passed around at college parties and sucking his husbands cock and cruising at home depot has been echoed and amplified out your open ground floor window to our leasing office where we are discussing not renew8ng your lease when its up and we all have heard everything you just said

girl it’s just a 3 day trip, you do not need to bring your terracotta warriors 🙄