Davenzi Fic Recs

‘That your boyfriend?’, Laura asks, stretching the o out like they’re still in middle school and smiling teasingly, no doubt having noticed the soft smile on his face. He’s in love, sue him. 

‘Shut up’, he says, but he doesn’t deny it and doesn’t stop smiling. She just laughs and stacks the two boxes before standing and bringing them to the kitchen. David shifts his focus back on his phone.

Hey. You up? 

It’s only ten, so he decides to play along. 

Yeah. You gonna ask me what I’m wearing next?

He watches the read receipt turn on, but there’s no answer. He frowns. Either his boyfriend is taking an absurdly long time to come up with an answer to David’s stupid joke, or David misread the situation. 

Everything okay? 

This time when Matteo reads it, at least he starts typing. Then stops. Starts again. Stops. Before finally sending. 

Can you come over? 

David doesn’t hesitate a second before getting up and start thinking of where he left his keys, before remembering he and Laura decided on having a sibling night in. Which actually, that makes him even more worried because he knows Matteo would never ask him for this if it wasn’t serious. He would’ve remembered this was sibling night and he wouldn’t have interrupted them, because he’s thoughtful like that, and still so scared of overstepping. David is glad he dared asking for this, at least. Maybe he’s starting to trust he could never be too much, or annoy David in any way. 

He’s still holding his phone when he enters the kitchen. Laura’s mid-yawn when he catches her eye, and she takes on look at him before waving him off. ‘Go to your boyfriend. I think I’m gonna go to bed anyway, I’m so tired’, and then she’s gone. She stops one last time right before going in her room, saying ‘I assume I won’t have to wait up for you’, with one eyebrow raised and a fond look on her face. David feels a little bit guilty shaking his head, but he can tell she doesn’t mind and Matteo needs him. 

He lets him know he’s on his way and hurries outside, jumping on his bike as fast as he can. It’s  not a long ride, and the weather’s perfect for this. Barely ten minutes later he rings the doorbell and is buzzed in by Hans. 

He greets Hans and Mia sitting on the couch when he enters the flat, and Hans immediately informs him Matteo is in his room, which David was already expecting. He wishes them a good night and makes his way to Matteo’s room. 

He knocks on the door, pushes it open when he doesn’t get an answer. He panics a bit when he sees the bed is empty, before noticing the balcony door is open, and sure enough when he steps outside, he finds Matteo sitting against one of the walls, staring up at the sky. He doesn’t immediately notice David’s presence, so David says ‘hey’, before stepping a bit closer. Matteo lowers his head at the sound. David smiles at him, but doesn’t get one back. Matteo seems to be relieved to see him, though, his shoulders get just a little less tense, which David counts as a win. 

He moves until he’s standing right next to Matteo, then lowers himself so he’s sitting to the wall adjacent to the one Matteo is leaning against. They’re not touching, David waiting for Matteo to make clear what he wants from David right now as he’s clearly not okay. He can offer him the comfort of his presence, though, and hopes it’s enough to make him feel a little bit better, enough to make him talk about what’s wrong. 

David is glad to see he’s not smoking, though. A few weeks back, Matteo had promised he would try to cut down, at least when it comes to numbing the pain, and he’s actually going through with it. David had expected it to take a little bit longer for Matteo to get used to, but apparently he’d made up his mind and decided to stick with it. David is so proud of him. Matteo doesn’t even realize how strong he is, but David is aware enough for the both of them. 

They sit in silence for a moment, David letting Matteo think, hopefully find his words. He doesn’t mind, this is as good a way to pass the time as any. He can think of many worse things to do than spend time with his boyfriend, even if they’re not doing anything. 

Then Matteo says: ‘Sorry for ruining sibling night.’ He’s not looking at David, staring at his hands instead. 

David’s heart breaks a little bit. ‘You didn’t.’ At Matteo’s unbelieving eye roll, David presses on. ‘You didn’t. We had a really nice evening together and Laura was getting tired anyway. You didn’t ruin or interrupt anything, I promise.’ He wants to add I can see Laura whenever I want, but it’s obvious you need me right now, but he knows Matteo would latch onto the needing aspect and take it the wrong way, start worrying about being too needy again. He’s not in the right mindset for that right now. 

He’s still not looking at David, but he does nod, so that’s a step in the right direction. ‘Wanna tell me what’s wrong?’ He wants to give Matteo the space and time he needs to take the initiative himself, but he’s getting a bit more freaked out the longer this goes on. 

Matteo shrugs, which isn’t really an answer, but at least it shows he’s getting ready to talk. 

‘Can I touch you?’

When Matteo nods, David moves a bit closer. Not close enough to lose sight of Matteo’s face, but close enough to knock one of his socked feet into Matteo’s bare one, and to tangle one of their hands together. Matteo squeezes his hand tight when David reaches out and it goes straight to David’s heart. 

‘My dad called.’

15% of David’s mood switches from worried to angry. He doesn’t like it when Matteo’s dad calls because he doesn’t realize -- or care about -- the effect his words still have on his soft-hearted, sensitive son. When he calls maybe he’s able to forget about the conversation immediately, but Matteo doesn’t and they follow him wherever he goes, spinning around in his head, and they keep hurting. 

‘What did he say?’ 

Matteo shakes his head, squeezes his hand again. David squeezes back, trying to pour all the love he has this for this wonderful boy into the gesture. ‘Nothing really, just asking me about my plans for the future. I had nothing to tell him obviously.’ 

Matteo had taken a gap year after his abi because he’d been so preoccupied with other things that he didn’t have the mental energy to worry about what would be happening months from then, and also because he just had no clue. David had always known exactly what he wanted to do after high school, but he can understand the struggle of finding something that fits, and he knows so many people struggle with making a choice, but Matteo has felt like he was stuck since the school year started and no matter how many times David tells him these things, it doesn’t really get better. 

‘But it’s not really what he said. He just -- He asked about you at one point and how mama was doing, but then he didn’t even really listen to the answer. I could tell he asked because he felt like he had to, but he just doesn’t fucking care. And he was so dismissive of everything I was saying, just wanted to pressure me into making a decision and -- Like, I’m his fucking son, he shouldn’t pretend to care over a phone call every few months.’ 

David moves a bit closer to Matteo, their shoulders touching. If there’s one thing David understands, it’s bad parenting. Their situations are very different, but he gets that it hurts, and that it keeps hurting. All he wants is to hold him so close, but he obviously needs to let this out first, and David isn’t about to interrupt him when he’s getting started. 

‘And I’ve been looking at jobs I could do, or courses to take next year, but I’m not good enough at anything. I feel -- I just feel so useless all the time.’ 

His voice breaks on the last words. ‘I’m so tired.’ And then there are silent tears streaming down his face and David’s resolve breaks. He keeps hold of his hand when he moves to straddle Matteo and holds his face with his other hand. Matteo finally meets David’s eye, the first time since he got here and David’s heart breaks all over. 

Matteo’s eyes look so sad, unsure and confused, like he doesn’t understand what David is doing, why he’s listening to him and trying to comfort him. 

‘Matteo’, David breathes, because he doesn’t know what to say. He wants to take all of his boyfriend’s pain away because he doesn’t deserve this, he’s the last person who deserves this, so he does the only thing he can think of and starts kissing Matteo’s face. He starts with his lips, soft and quick, then moves to up to his nose, then his cheeks and the tears still sliding down. They’re cool against his lips and he wishes kissing them away would take the pain, too. 

In between kisses, he whispers of love and comfort, telling him he loves him so much, that he’s so important, more important to him than Matteo could ever realize, and to his friends too, to his  mother, that his father doesn’t matter, not if he can’t see the amazing person Matteo is. He knows the words are most likely not registering right now, but he feels Matteo’s breathing get more even underneath him, so something he’s doing must be helping and so he doesn’t stop, not until Matteo’s stopped crying, breathing normally again. 

Eventually he manages to convince him to leave the balcony and get into bed, at least, try to get some sleep, David’s not leaving. When he’s in one of these moods, it can take a few days for Matteo to get himself out of it, and David is prepared to help him through it. He’s so glad Matteo reached out to him instead of suffering is silence. 

He holds him so close to him under the sheets, all night. Matteo falls asleep pretty quickly, tired out from feeling so much and letting it all out, but David doesn’t let go. He thinks back to Matteo’s confession that he’s thinking of seeing a therapist from some time back, and hopes he’s still considering it. Thinks of how much he loves him, how much he hates his father. Thinks if someone tried to make him let go of the most beautiful person David’s ever met, they wouldn’t manage.