⎊

noticing that the older i get the funnier "i'm only (age)" gets as an excuse

sorry for rolling the worst blunt you've ever seen i'm only 24

that was one of the shortest hospital stays of my life, but the highlight of the whole event is that i got the paramedics to read homestuck and listen to lemon demon.

John.

what's up?

this reads like a post i would see in 2014. i feel transported

...when is this post from.

LIKE TWO DAYS AGO???

Date of origin: January 28th 2022.

I want a hallmark movie where the girl is from a small town, and the boy comes back from his big corporate job and gets shown the meaning of Christmas by the girl instead of the other way around

then she pegs him at the end

i lift up a rock and the tiny anime girls scramble out from underneath it all frightened

someone had to pick up Carrie Fisher’s mantle and by the gods, Pedro Pascal did it. 

:) this is my favorite comment on this post

i would make an excellent goon. i’d be like ”on it boss” and then i’d fuck it up instantly.

(Sees a cigarette in your mouth) oh are we playing the pocky game? (eats it from the other side)

🧅🧄

joint slay

seeing everyone now in love with andrew garfield is so funny cause he’s been tumblr’s princess diana

tomorrow when the employees find this freak of nature, they will take photos of him and call animal control. but tonight he is alive in the chicago quiznos by the soda cooler and when he looks up at the counter, there are twice as many sandwiches as usual.

love my girl mutuals 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 there is something deeply wrong with all of you 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩