Why am I still here?

"mens section"... more like where the hot women shop

"womens section"... more like where the hot men shop

"soup section"... more like where's the clothes

My friend is trying to name herself, and she's like, "Oh, what's that name that's like marmalade, but it's a name?" and I know she means Adelaide, but I think I can talk her into naming herself Marmalade if I play my cards right here.

Not in a hateful, cruel way, but because my name is Newt, and I think "Newt & Marmalade" sounds like a detective agency that solves mysteries for tiny garden critters.

ive said this already but not only would i have survived the shelley/byron situationship i wouldve THRIVED

i have an idea for a meme hold on let me make it

Reblogging this version cuz those two gifs show the sexiest duality a man can have.