I know I left my uterus somewhere around here...

You know what dahling lets indulge a bit, pour me another glass of pussy.

Teleporting does kill you but it also launches your soul through samsara in a sort of geostationary orbit velocity, so you reincarnate instantly.

ultimately the truth about frankenstein is that we are all grotesque amalgamations of the best and worst parts of everyone who came before us. and sometimes the people who are supposed to love us because of and in spite of this will not. and we can kill them with hammers for that. and i think that’s beautiful

well i can’t argue with that one

Ah yes, Mary Shelley’s monster.

no mary shelley is the name of the monster not the doctor

common misconception! mary shelley's monster was actually lord byron

blue raspberry is fucked up cause it doesn't make sense but then u taste it and it Does taste like if a raspberry was blue

the ocean was made of sprite also

what if orpheus was butch and she unclipped her carabiner and held it out behind her and then eurydice clipped it onto her belt loop and then orpheus didnt have to look back because she could hear eurydice jingle jangling behind her. follow me for more dyke solutions to famous tragic literature

at least can all we agree that the original gay flag with the magic and sex colours is BEAUTIFUL and it should make a comeback

Happy pride month everyone

My hoes care about me.

@funnier-when-objectum

This is killing me

sometimes people experiencing psychosis and/or mania will come up to you on the street and talk in confusing or upsetting ways. your job is to either have a regular human-to-human conversation with that person or politely leave. your job is not to call 911. do not call 911. you might kill that person if you call 911.

^ ^ ^

cutely emits a single ping