Glowing Disciple

I feel like valve is being targeted here.

for example, in my house: saying ‘ew’ in a monotone voice, slapping your leg and saying “iiiiiii know it!” and the other person replies “well that’s just it.”

Excerpts from a recent conversation with Gemini.

Like it’s so disrespectful to cult survivors to say that. Especially cult survivors that are still religious. AND ESPECIALLY to cult survivors who got out BECAUSE of their strongly held religious beliefs.

-David Hockney

This is why I struggle writing solely "for myself". There's a need to share. To be seen and appreciated and to know you made someone feel something.

that’s valid and I understand that. though I think for me, I never really write because I want to share what I wrote. I mean, sure, I do share them regardless, but sharing them online is still not the main reason why I write — now I only speak for myself — I write because I love my silly comfort characters and because I want to create my own world for these characters through my writing. that’s why I’m content with writing for myself (and for my comfort characters) and also for my own enjoyment.

and if I’m being honest, I don’t agree with “you wouldn’t be an artist unless you wanted to share an experience”, because while that can be true for some, it’s not true for me. I’ve been writing for almost a decade now, and it’s because the act of writing, and the knowing that I get to give my comfort characters the world I create, are what make me happy. I don’t write because I seek strangers’ opinions or approval.

as for this part, “to be seen and appreciated and to know you made someone feel something”, I still get all of these while writing for myself, my comfort characters and my own enjoyment. “to be seen and appreciate”, of course, this is great and I genuinely appreciate every single person who reads and gives my works their love and support, but what’s more important to me is that I do see and appreciate myself. and I make myself feel something with my own fics. I actually cry sometimes while writing my fics because I’m that emotionally invested in them. so by making someone feel something, the someone in question is me, and while I love making others feel things through my writing, making me feel things through my own writing is, to me, more than enough.

Excerpts from a recent conversation with Gemini.