; but i still want you

20240206 // so dreamy ♡

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20240124 // sun sparkle ✨

it's been about a year since i went on this tumblr account. back in 2022, i lost my grandma to dementia/alzheimer's. i was her main caretaker so her passing greatly affected me. i hit the hardest creativity block and even stopped bullet journaling.

a month before my grandma's one year death anniversary in 2023, i lost one of my best friends. we were internet friends who shared a bond through our love of kpop. we met through twitter back in late 2013. we went from talking through DM's, snapchatting, and then texting everyday. Losing her shattered me.

sadness and grief consumed me entirely. i stopped journaling and allowed my stationery and journals get covered in dust. but in november 2023, i decided one day to start journaling about my day and it really helped me. my creativity block began to chip away and honestly, it still exists but not the way it used to be.

i got a new desk in my room and i moved my computer and stationery that was in my parents' room into mine. being surrounded by my materials made a huge difference with my mental health. i started journaling again and i'm even waiting for my new bullet journal to come in the mail.

the grief comes back in waves, little by little, but i'm doing a bit better in trying to keep myself together. i'm picking up the pieces of myself that i lost and slowly falling back in love with journaling.

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20220116 // friendly reminder, don't forget to take a breather.

happy new years everyone! im 16 days late in greeting, but i hope you all don't mind hehehe. i've been trying to be a bit more active on my tiktok, so i would appreciate it if you all could check it out hehe. i posted a hand lettering video yesterday!

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20211215 // just in case someone hasn't already told you

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