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imjustexistingtbh

let’s bonk with mama

fairycosmos

you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

doing-90mph-in-central-london

ⓘ This user is a malicious entity made of seafoam.

jewish-joy

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

jewish-joy

#i love prayer plants but they're fussy so I don't keep them#can we have a picture op they're so pretty

Behold, Dorothea

(Naming my plant "Gift of God," and then giving her to a seminarian with just the explanation that it's a prayer plant? Okay, that's my bad.)

jewish-joy

I should also add- I ran into my rabbi and explained the situation. I then asked, earnestly, if there was a remedy. A mikveh of sorts, or a beit din, or something.

He turned to me, sighed, and said in a very deadpan tone-- "Plants don't have covenants, Joy,"

So Theodora's a free agent according to rabbinic opinion. I guess I'll permit her to be Roman Catholic.

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

the one band member thinking to himself that he's so glad lestat killed one of the tech guys and lestat going "dude I just fired him like a normal person" was an underrated moment tbh

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skadaddletime

ew what is that thing (affectionate)

wholesome-animal-images

saltywinteradult

just look at these fluffy motherfuckers. i want ten of them

eosphoroz

We are so back.

humanveil

You remind me of a young woman, many years past. You have her face. A sweetheart of yours? No, no, no, a Vecce, above my station. We all jostled for a glimpse of her blonde hair. Where is she now?

capinejghafa

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON (2010) dir. CHRIS SANDERS & DEAN DEBLOIS

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I'm currently at the beach! Have you had the chance to go this year? Do you like it or would you rather be at the pool, or the countryside? What are your go-to beach activities?

I'm going in little over a week! Finding holiday time has proven complicated (and multiple negotiations had to be had bc apparently we have reached a corporate level in which if I want holiday time I have to retrain someone for it 💀 insane) I love the beach 🥰 but I also love the pool 🤣 pools are more compatible with my neurotic city person sensibilities. My go to beach activities are mainly swimming and reading.

On the subject of pools/beaches my group of friends has been discussing lately about how apparently there's no more ladies doing topless on the beach/pool and how the spanish friends (that weren't raised on a barn) all think it's a shame while the friends raised on LatAm don't really know how to feel about topless bc men™ suck but we also don't do female topless in public spaces as a general rule

#a friend is trying to convert me to the topless side #I still think that's putting a lot of trust in men not being terrible or at kids not being dicks with their phones #but I do understand they feel sad it's not something they see many people doing anymore #replies #goldenliartrash #goldenasks

Are you / were you ever into pokemon? If so, which is your favourite? And if not, tell me what you think the games are about!

I had a giant pokemon themed birthday party as a kid (back in the middle ages when we only had gen 1)

I'm an Eevee fan, what's your favorite? 😊

#replies #goldenliartrash #goldenasks

randomnessoffiction

"I thought cartoons were supposed to be funny."

-- Coyote Vs. ACME

doomtemparts

one of my friends in a discord server was talking about how they were nervous about their first scheduled acupuncture appointment. another friend offered to do a tarot reading for them. sent this picture.

rubyvroom

@unhelpfultarot

ambarrvioleta

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming